Sound of Cochlear Implant

About time to update something that is called my blog...

2012-01-07T02:25:00.000+02:00

Oh my god , I haven't blogged for four months.

But you all know I had a very good excuse ( THIS time. dunno about next time )

From my last post , you probably know I'm undergoing chemo..To say it was smooth sailing , it would be a lie though.

Always something crops up.Some problem will rear up.But I've managed to do my best with what I was given with.
Plus , I'm blessed with some friends that I'll never forget.I even received some fabulous Christmas cards that I loved! Oh , and cookies!!The box will be a keepsake...I'll pull it out again next Christmas.

So , you wonder..what's I'm writing in the blog for? Ok , let's get the most exciting thing out of the way first!

This coming Tuesday , 10 January , will my my LAST Chemo treatment!

Can I get a cheer for that? I've made it! I thought I couldn't make it , and I had lost heart halfway through the treatment.It's not all cake and roses you know.

At the last treatment with the first medicine , I had quite a bit of throwing up that left me with a serious nerve headache that nothing could get it off.And I had a messed up arm from a blunder nurse ( blood draw ) that managed to go through my vein and get a nerve.I couldn't straighten my right arm or reach high bc of that , and always kept it bent.I still favor it btw.It wouldn't have been a big deal as I'm a leftie , but it hurt.And my left arm hurt in the SNB scar area in my armpit.

Painkillers and exercise helped a lot , but I was grouchy for a time about that.And I started to get scared of any vein needles , and am very nervous about them still.I think I always will be nervous and never will blow off a blood draw like it's no big deal..because I learned it IS if it's not done right.

The second chemo medicine , was a bit more brutal at start..I wasn't throwing up , but I had some serious bone pain. Really.I ended up taking some heavy painkillers that also messed with my stomach.After that , it was just being tired.Thank god for that.

But by then , I learned that nothing is smooth sailing.Red cells were lower , they just decided to accompany white..so , now I'm on a weekly injection regime to see if they'll come back up.

I would never have made it though , without the support and love of my friends and family.Really.Even my nephew , unwittingly helped , as he seems as devoted to me as I am to him.When I hear Vivie from him , I always smile and get excited.He loves anything I'll get him , and he was all over his Christmas present , or so I hear.We also went to the carousel together , and made memories.I have some pics , but not going to post , you understand.Just imagine me though , with little guy on my lap.

Now on to Christmas , it was a really low key no-present holiday , but that's okay , as long as I don't get any more pajamas! I have quite a few pairs of them , and I'm kinda sick of them now! I used to not wait to get home , change into pj's and relax..ummm that can change! Changed into 2012 with family! Really nice , a nice meal , a LOT of desserts ( birthday cake for my cousin , vasilopita , saraiglakia just to name a few ) and just chatty family.I did get some holiday cash in , that can be either spent on a new alarm clock for the deaf , save up for a trip I want to make , or save up for an iPad that I've been coveting...hmmm decisions , decisions!

On to hearing news - since I was into bed much of the time , I got into the (bad) habit of not wearing my ear again.I really don't like it , but I have to cope somehow.I am trying to get into wearing it again and upping the time from there , but it's hard bc my energy is fluctuating like crazy.One minute I'll be bright and alert and suddenly , I'll crash and burn.I've stuck to mostly movies , FB and some rare outings with family or on my own , keeping it low key.Fortunately , most of my family and friends are VERY understanding and they say all that I have to finish chemo and then have a stab again.I'm thinking of e-mailing my audiologist and come clean , and ask to start over.I did manage to wear it for a couple hours today.It's a start.

I don't admit it on Facebook because I'm ashamed , but some people privately know about it , and are very supporting.I'm hoping everyone will not gossip my decision , because it was my own decision and it's my own life.I do not take kindly to orders, and if you do , you'll experience my rather bitchy temper..

After my last treatment , I will be considered PFC (= Post Final Chemo ) and will move on to my next stage of treatment.Hormonal treatment.I'm not looking forward to that , not much , but at least that means I'm moving to the right direction.I'll do hormonal treatment for 5 years , be monitored , and after that I'll be declared officially cancer free.

My immediate plans after I recover is to go on a trip to recover from the shit year I had.I thought I had kicked it off nice , last year..but , no , I didn't.So , my plans are to go somewhere in Europe..my possible destinations are England ( for the 3rd time ) , or somewhere Northern Europe.Maybe Austria , or Iceland? Finland? We'll see.

My dream destination would be either the US or NZ but the tickets are too expensive.And I've never been in a long-haul flight.And flight changes make me a little nervous..plus , maybe if I win the lottery , I'll go bilateral , I'll pay off my condo loan , I'll travel , I'll...you get the drift.Oh , and get a proper DSLR.Yeah , the things you can get IF you had the money.

Oh well. Time to wrap up this missive.

See you in the next few months , I guess? or whenever I get off to blog again.

Cheers!

A new twist...

2011-09-04T02:16:00.003+03:00

I haven't written here for over three months.

My reason was a simple one.A health crisis.

My hearing birthday was on May 22nd , and it was my 3rd Hearing Birthday.Three years since activation.Wow.I was feeling great.I have friends all over the globe through FB , and I was feeling very loved and supported.

I just had experienced my first travel abroad , even with all the mishaps ( that might be detailed in a later post ) in February.Visited a friend , got surprised , had a fantastic birthday!

All that can be turned over in an instant.The night of my hearing birthday , I was feeling great.Had dinner outside ( treated myself ) had a good walk , and was chatting with friends , when a pain that kept coming back for a few months , came again.I rubbed it to relieve it.

A lump.My mind froze.

A month later , under the know of some close friends and family , and with their support , I had gone through all the testing.Result of the lump : Breast Cancer. ( DCIS , Stage II ). Every other organ in me was clear.And I was heading again to the OR , for removing the whole breast. I had decided on a left mastectomy , and reconstruction.The reconstruction wasn't going to happen if the lymph nodes were positive though.SNB ( Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy ) was going to happen halfway the surgery.I had raced through all the doctor appts , breast surgeon , plastic surgeon , everything , did every scan , every exam that I was ordered to.

My mind was on survival mode.But...I have to thank friends , dear friends that I've had either before the journey , or made while I started the journey , that supported me , laughed with me , heard me , and helped me keep my sanity.One in particular , was ALWAYS there for me.Won't name, but.....she knows who she is.

Fortunately...I survived the OR..And now , I'm halfway through chemo.Doing treatments , recovering from breast surgery and reconstruction , learning to live with a new normal.And feeling sometimes , very grateful , for friends.And for my own luck to have discovered it early enough.

I'm doing treatment #2 on Tuesday.And today I'm officialy a bald head with a CI on.

Voila!

My ear ( aka my CI ) wasn't affected at all.There were some risks , but I weighed it out..and I just followed my own gut.

- NO MRI - even if I could with my Freedom , under certain provisions , but I didn't trust that the guidelines would be followed closely.Not Going to Risk it.
- I did not want to do radiation therapy.There was not much evidence on the radiation therapy affecting the CI or not , so I decided instead to avoid it all together ( there were also other reasons for that decision ) and did instead mastectomy surgery.
- However , I did bone scintilllation , which was completely safe - nuclear medicine , but it was clear , ( not totally , I found another underlying problem , but cancer-clear , which was all I cared about )
- I did an CAT scan two days ago , and that one was CLEAR too.
- Chemotherapy was completely safe for the CI , as all it affects is the cancerous cells.So , I felt safe doing that, even if it was a poison.Loss of hair did not interest me.I wasn't excited to lose my hair , but I preferred being able to have a long life , rather than hair!

Why did not I say it publicly before ? Mostly because I wasn't ready. but also because I needed to process it.It's hit home for me now, that I've had chemo once , and I feel like I can do it.

Also , I felt like I was ready to share.It's a hard and personal decision.Not everyone shares , and I wasn't thinking on sharing...but..there has to be someone that might need this , someone that I can help in the future with this admission...

And I'm helping myself too in this process.I found it early , cancer is off my body , but because of the staging , I have to do chemo.So what..let's admit it.And be loved.

Life's too little to care about petty things.Just go and hug your loved ones.Find friends that you haven't caught up in a long while and talk to them.

Just spread love all around you.I'm fashioning my new do with caps , rags , skullcaps , and I love the versatility!

3 years post surgery...

2011-05-22T22:58:00.002+03:00

In honor of my surgery anniversary ( already 3rd one?? Time sure FLIES ) I'm reposting below an excerpt of my Surgery diary that corresponds to the day of surgery...

Thursday 22th May 2008

Nurse's aide wakes me up at seven , and she gives me a calming pill.Which never WORKED.I was SO nervous.I started again walking all the ward , and when I get kicked out , the hallway.Does that make you remember something ? :P I get some last pre op stuff done , and around 8 or so , my parents come in..A nurse brings in the surgery clothes..uuuuh , how do you wear these?
I start joking that with these I'm all ready for psych ward , and everyone laughs!

I got in OR around 8:45.I feel something pinching my left hand..Ouch!The team's trying to put the cardio monitor stuff , but I get shy and hide my chest.Well they conked me out a bit earlier.

Deep breaths...count to ten..OK..one , two , three , five ( I remember skipping 4 and everyone laughs ) I start getting dizzy , I say six...I see this huge mask...and..I don't remember anything else!!

I saw SO weird dreams , I still remember them.Suddenly , I feel hands on me ..Wasn't I in cloud nine ? someone pushing me , slapping me gently...I want to sleep some more mum, I wanna say..but I notice , my mouth can't move much..I try to open one eye..I see something green ( I can't see without glasses much! ) then , my brain feeds me with memories..Jolt awake! The op , the running off , EVERYTHING.I think..I DID it.I pick up my free hand..and I pat myself , yup , bandage here.I start grinning.The doctors wanted me to frown , smile , do some expressions , to see if my side was ok , and , I was grinning.LOL.I did it!

I got disconnected from all the paraphernalia , and get wheeled in my room.While I try to crawl in my hospital bed , I think..whoa , I'm in a HIGH.No wonder druggies are ADDICTED!LOL.I couldn't make a coherent word.Nurse says that I'm not allowed to sleep for two hours , and that I should keep the oxygen mask on my face.They connect me with some saline , and I HATE that.I want my hands free , but I can't protest at all , seeing that I'm completely out of it!

Mum , in an attempt to keep me awake , gives me my cell phone , to start texting..I give it back , saying I can't..since I hadn't paid it.she gives it back , and gives her phone too.LOL! ( afterwards she complained of a high bill! ROFL ) I send the first text , but it was completely blank.Wow.I'm too out of it.she texts back with a question mark.I manage to stumble a response.I'm out.I'm ok.I'm drugged up.She replies back with a LOL, and goes to alert some common friends via net.I managed to text everyone , LOL, and by then , I was allowed to sleep!

Dad left straight back for his work , and mom stayed with me at the hospital , to look after me.I got in a 2 hour nap , and then nurse wakes me up in the attempt , to put some IV medicines.She also brings me some hot tea to drink.I DETEST tea.I drink some though.I couldn't feel the taste.My tongue is completely NUMB.

I even had some visitors the same day.I was feeling better by afternoon , but I didn't dare get up, I was feeling VERY weak ,very dizzy.
Kept napping and waking up and texting...and feeling nauseus!!

Today , I wanted to do something special..

I ended up going to the Salonica Pier where there is always something happening along the length of it , and walked it twice over , and while walking I was hearing other people talking , kids yelling while playing...
*thwack**thwack* Oooh , here's the tennis court!! I should sign up for lessons...
*aaaaaah* I look up...Airplane coming in to land in airport...Cool , I've never heard an airplane! *music* accordion street players!!

Later , I went to eat out..at Savvikos , a restaurant that is open since 1947 , passed from generation to generation , to celebrate..I do my order , and the waiter is a FAST talker , I can't lipread him at all..But I HEARD him and I gave my order and I could communicate...Nice!

As I was paying..another waiter that decided to carry more than he could slipped...and glasses , bottles fell from his hands..*smack**crack**tinkling of glasses being walked on* everyone was annoyed with him ...except me..I could appreciate the sound...all it takes is appreciation...

So , three years later..I've developed an appreciation for music , for sounds , and for voices..( my favorite thing is listening to my nephew 'talking' to me..)
I've gotten friends with CI all over Greece and the globe.
I've travelled.
I've gotten to host friends and tour other friends.
I'm expecting more friends to come over..
I've gotten more confident in myself.
I've realized more things about me..
I've accepted some things too..
I've become a DV moderator
I've gotten some amazing friendships that I think might last...at last :)
I'm happier
I'm so appreciative of everything

But..
I still slip and fall
I still have lousy balance
I still forget things
I still sometimes do slip ups and blunders
I still am deaf...as a doorknob
I still need some accomodations
I still am the same person I was before , I just changed in some ways.
I still want to know more

So..here's to a 4th year full of listening , full of more laughter , full of fun and also , full of knowing myself more , and opening myself to more travelling and more options to me..*raises ice cream bowl*

Knocking on doors.

2011-05-20T17:25:00.002+03:00

After reading this post , I understood one more thing about me , that leads back from HA days.

I'm known to blunder into rooms , seeing not the best situations , and even with CI , I can't decipher sometimes the come in/wait a minute as in Greek they are roughly the same syllables and it's a hard to decipher sometimes , as I already said.

My most recent and most embarassing situation was ....nope , not going to tell you :) who do you think I am???

But , on the other side..sometimes , when you're deaf/HOH , you have to cut yourself some slack and recognise that sometimes you ARE going to be embarassed/embarass other people , or both.Happens to everyone, hearing or not.

I try to be respectful , but it's a hard balance , especially with friends that say I act like a hearing person ( I can hear a lot better , and I'm quite a good lipreader. ) so they almost always forget to come and open the doors for me , so , if I decide to not open , I will usually walk away after 5 minutes or so , thinking nobody is in the office/room/apartment/ house/ whatever.

We recently had a talk about that with my brother , as I managed to walk in on him in the BR , thinking it was empty ( in my defense , I was still NOT awake , and the only thought in my asleep brain was to relieve my bladder, plus I'm used in living alone and NEVER have bathroom holdups ) and he did realize that yelling he is in when the handle got turned wouldn't get my attention , as I was totally deaf.He did say that I should check the keyhole if there's light out of it , but that's impossible if the key is in , which it was.We actually had an argument of sorts about it , trying to find a solution.

One solution we had when I was a kid , was a sticker at the ON position for the bathroom.That indicated that bathroom was occupied.Another was locking the bathroom door , but if you're in the stage of almost peeing your pants , you don't have time to do that, plus , what if the key was lost ? Kind of defeats the purpose.A third , was usually , to check if everyone was present in whatever room we were usually ( living or kitchen room ), and then go.

Another incident was in the office of an acquaintance's.I was walking home , after a dentist appt , and thought to drop in and say hello, as I hadn't seen that certain person for quite a time, preparing myself to the fact if he was busy , I'd leave.The person WAS quite busy *ahem* , and to boot it , they forgot the door a couple inches open , so I got in the foyer , "Hello ____ , are you here?" and for response I heard what I thought was , Come in...*ahem*

What do you do in these instances? You just beat a hasty retreat.VERY hasty , and pray they did not see/hear you.

What if you've been ordered to see the principal?

My own principal always forgot I was deaf ,and he'd shout my surname , in a NOISY hallway , to get me in ( I wasn't in trouble THAT often , don't worry ) , and he always had to realize he had to tell someone else to get my attention it was my turn.

Or EVEN when you're on a break in a bus trip and you don't hear the announcement to get back on the bus?
There are many possibilities to get embarassed/stranded/felt awkward , and sometimes , being deaf isn't just that we can't hear or hear properly.It means planning ahead , thinking of any possible hazards , and above all , have a sense of humor.

Sarcasm on ourselves , helps quite a bit :)

Help little Luca to hear!

2011-03-31T20:32:00.002+03:00

A few days ago , I was browsing in FB aimlessly , as I was on a short vacation at my parents'.

I stumbled on this Greek note , which I've translated in English for my English-reading friends.

Poor kid..I'm copy-pasting here my translated note off FB , in order to help him as much as I can.

HELP LUKA TO HEAR

Little Luka is a 3 year old kid from Bulgaria , Europe , that was born deaf.The past two years he got implanted with cochlear implants in his both ears so he can hear.Unfortunately , he lost one of his processors the day of his bilateral surgery , and the company told them there is no loss warranty for his cochlear implant processors and no warranty.If the money aren't collected , little Luka will not be able to hear from his new ear ( he currently wears the new processor on his old ear ) and the processor costs 5,000 € which is an insurmountable amount for the family.Help however you can , every donation will help.

I personally verified his family's story, and it is a genuine plea for help.His new ear's activation is April 15th , and he needs it to start therapy and mappings!

The account number is :02/0000000019288077

IBAN: BG85STSA93000019288077

BIC: STSABGSF

Name:LUKA LUBOMIROV TODOROV

DSK BANK bulgaria

The money is in a closed account that will be accessible for withdraw only from the cochlear implant representatives in Bulgaria , so Luka can get a new processor.Please share and help , even 5 euro will help to get to the goal.

FYI - the Bulgaria's currency is the leva , which is weaker than the euro, which is to the kid's advantage!

I wish he can hear...!

An update

2011-02-24T18:16:00.002+02:00

I'll do a bullet list since it's been so long without an update..almost three months...ughhh..

I made my first trip on my own.Went to London , to stay at a CI friend , who also is a very dear friend to me , but the trip was both exhilarating and scary.Had to face myself in a few ways , and some of my biggest fears had to be tackled head on.I'm glad I did the trip , but I also feel half-regret that I did it.Does that make sense? I'm still processing it...I've learned some very HARD lessons, and I have to reinforce them so some things won't happen again...
Also , when I was on the trip , I made a point of visiting Chinatown and the Chinese parade.While I did not see it - too much of a crowd , and me and one friend were very unnerved from that, it was quite the hearing moment to hear the fireworks and the crackers!I also tried Chinese food.It was DELICIOUS.
While at the trip , I could understand almost everyone except my host , which had me frustrated to the highest point.We made it work , communicating via other ways , but I was resenting myself for that the entire trip.Feelings were run a big high...
Since the trip though , even if it was in London , and I talked almost exclusively in English with a few exceptions , I've seen a LOT of improvement in my speech and my hearing.The most scary was today's speech session : I had to do my usual exercise - where speech recites from a text , and I have a xerox of the text and I follow along and repeat..well , today I did not have a xerox , we did a new text too , and other than having a few repeats, I could hear her..I had to look at her for a few new words , but that was it.That was scary and exhilarating , and when the session finished , I was feeling like it was something I must be dreaming..
My laptop broke when I got back...since it wasn't worth it to get it fixed , I acquired a new one instead , but meanwhile , I had to make do with loaners for two weeks..I was TIRED of loaners.I got my new laptop yesterday , activated the warranty and I've set down to work that has been neglected for a LONG time.
I celebrated my birthday while in London , twice.It was a very nice birthday , and actually the kind of the birthday I wanted - even if I never told my friends that , they DID ask me though what I'd like , but I would evade the issue.I always feel embarassed when they're putting attention on me , that's why.But , it was just what I wanted , with an additional surprise :)
I have a new sound : I don't like hearing myself type on this laptop , it's a bit noisier.But , again , my old laptop was an store-brand that lasted 3 yrs , while this one is a well known brand , and I hope it'll last me for at least 4-5 years , if not more!
My telecoil link broke last week , and I had to order a new one.I went today to get it , but they told me at the courier site , that I should have gone to a different shop...HUH?but yours is the closest to my home? I got confused.She told me to call...ummm, HELLOOOOOOOOOOO? she got it after a few repeats , thankfully.She told me , but you can't be deaf! You have impeccable speech! LOL.She decided to get it delivered in her shop , and I'd get there tomorrow to get it.
Braces are going good.I was afraid they'd break while in London , and that wouldn't been the best thing , but they lasted ,and now I'm on a bit of a different regime..put some retainers myself , every morning.That one is clearly hard! Every time I remove one to replace it , I can't help myself but yawn really hard , lol!
Today it's Mardi Gras day in Greece , which is a tradition to bake or fry things , mostly meat and whatever else we will deny ourselves in Lent.We're also in the swing of pre-Lenten Carnival.While walking to speech I saw several families in the pavement having meat on coals , the smell preceding them a block or two.Meats , sausages , steaks , bread , fries , souvlakia , whatever you'd want to eat , was on coals.I also saw SEVERAL motorbikes that were from delivery food places all over the way , one nearly mowed me in the way back! ( In my defense , he was going the WRONG way in an one way street! ).The Mardi Gras harks from the olden days in Greece , where we used to bake meat in fire , and the smell was the food of the Twelve Gods.
Since I was ill the last few days , I'm not going to celebrate Mardi Gras , but stay in , and make a cake for the Carnival party I'm going to , tomorrow.Yummmm.I haven't decided what I will dress up as.
I've been reading a book about American history , and it was VERY interesting..I haven't finished it yet , but I keep underlining things , googling details , and also , using my iTouch's dictionary apps for new words.I also have been catching up on news, and it's been quite the thump on earth.

That's it...Off to make the cake for the party :)

Which part of not hearing , they don't get?

2010-12-14T11:25:00.002+02:00

WARNING : a mini rant ahead.Yes.so , if you are officially disgusted from rants , please go elsewhere.Duly noted.

You still here?

Gosh..well , let me start...( and tell me if I get out of hand , please )

So , last night I was enjoying my chatting online ( as much as I could , that is , as I was feeling a bit miserable from something else ) and generally having a blast in chatting and surfing..When a chat popped up in Greek :

" (name removed ) : Hey , how are you? "
" Me : I'm good , but been better.What about you ? "
"(name removed ) : I'm good , just tired from yada yada yada.Hey , check out this song! "
" Me : I'll save it to listen to it later , probably tomorrow."
" (name removed) : Why? this song is pretty awesome! "
( me in the background , trying to not gnash my teeth )
" Me : well , my ear's off , as I'm not feeling too well , plus I always remove it by 11 pm ( it was closer to 1 am then ) and stick it in the dehumidifier.So , I'll get you back on that."
" ( name removed ) : But I thought you were hearing now.What's the point of having the op if you do not hear"
( what ? I DO hear , I just did not want to hear THAT particular moment , plus , CI isn't THAT sort of a miracle that will let you hear at all times.I'm still deaf )
" Me : ( insert a long winded explanation about the limits of CI , but explaining it still is a miracle and I have choices when to wear it and when not.Insert example of next doors construction which has been driving everyone batty but me , as I can plop my ear off , yada yada.Plus still deaf as a wall.I just hear a heckuva better than pre-CI.)"
" (name removed) : but just hear the song.it's awesome"
" Me : (irked) which part of my explanation did not get?(choice word here , as I'm losing my patience ). "
" (name removed) : uhhhh , why are you pissed off with me?Did I do anything. "
( me just goes offline at that particular person.Gotta love the appear offline at THAT person in MSN Messenger )

At that point I ranted to a CI friend , who calmed me down , but I still am annoyed with (name removed).
Maybe if I pretended to my friends that CI doesn't work , they would leave me alone.Yeah.Problem's that I'm too honest.And that I always celebrate every little sound.And I want EVERYONE to know it.
When will I get over my ire?Who knows?Which might be , ten minutes later , a day later , or a week later , or never.We'll see.

You see , I can forgive pretty much a lot of things , but being thick , isn't one in my list.Sorry.

rant over.

And since I'm talking about loving to hear.What I'm loving this time , is just talking with my nephew.I'll talk to him , and he'll babble back to me.When he does that , I just want to eat him up.

And , I just know he'll accept me , deaf or no deaf , as I'm his auntie and he knows , even now , in his baby-ness , that I love him entirely to bits.

Good morning to you!

Rain rain rain

2010-11-17T21:33:00.002+02:00

Haven't written lately...

I've been a bit frustrated with my CI lately..

But since I changed in the higher , louder map ( the one that I avoided for a bit , since it was giving me headaches after 2 days ) I've been able to listen more!

Today , I really LOVED listening to the rain!
I also am able to hear the buzzers even if the buildings I'm out of , are in BUSY roads.That has me dancing in glee!
Yesterday , I had two very nice phone chats , one with my aunt , and one with my mom! I could understand a LOT more..it was just a matter of letting my brain get used to the higher map , and after a couple of weeks I'm doing really well!

I've been busy , since I'm organizing a trip next week , and also another one , hopefully in February.

I'm off to hear my favourite song , and hear the patter patter of rain!

News , finally :)

2010-10-25T08:31:00.002+03:00

Haven't posted since start of the month...well , I got snowed under with work, even if I don't have a proper job yet.

Still have speech 2x a week , it's been slow but sure work, I'm really seeing a difference lately , and I might stop it later this year. I don't mind going to speech therapy , it's something I always had to go to , I view it as a staple of my obligations, but it sure is a money eater! I've started watching parts of greek shows , and to repeat what I catch there..It's hard work , but I've kind of outgrown the Rosetta - it's EASY for me now ( two years ago , it was the bane of my existence , it was SO frustrating! what a difference two years make! )

I also had to go and spend a weekend with my family , helping them with notary/elections stuff.Sunday was really long too , I had to write a LOT , and it's been tiring.
I also am going to college - last semester I tried reading from home and doing online material.Didn't work out much , so I'm going as normal again.I've noticed a big difference though in my hearing.In the labs , I used to hear all 25 pc fans whirring away and it drove me completely CRAZY.This semester , I don't even notice it, they also installed silentier fans , but I do hear them , it's just when I concentrate to the professors talking or to my own work that they fade out completely.And I also can understand the professors a lot better ( still relying on lipreading ) but I can get more than before.And it's not as tiring as it was with my HA.I guess I'm just a slow achiever, and I had kind of been disappointed in the CI at first , but two friends said to me " Give it time , you're only two years post op " and " Every person progresses differently " and they were right! :)

Braces are going great :) My teeth have straightened a lot now , still going to appointments every month, last month I got the lower braces tightened a lot , and it was really annoying for the first week , I had been surviving on whatever soft I could eat.

Also , a greek channel decided to caption one of its GREEK shows.It was a surprise for me , as I didn't expect that :) it's a weekly show , and I'm on episode 3.LOVE it , even if it's on the sad side.I love stories.Histories.Everything.It's based on Hislop's book "The Island" which is sold on amazon :)

Sorry for not blogging that much , but I've been busy - I also have been made DeafVillage moderator , which keeps me busy , plus I prefer Facebook and chatting to catching up with my friends rather than blog , but I really don't want to neglect it either :)

Did I mention that I love my alerting system? It's been totally worth it's money.

till next post.

ps , I installed Disqus for comments under , I was fooling around.Do tell me if you like it or not :)

Coping at college with CI

2010-10-05T01:32:00.003+03:00

Ooookayyy..another post :)

I've been busy since August , to be honest..and every time I'd get a blog started , I'd get sidetracked.

Hmmm , this seems to be a popular excuse in the CI/deaf blogger community lately! :P

I've been trying to restart college duties ( lessons started this week ) and to remember everything I've forgotten.

But I've been seeing progress.
Pre-CI , I used to have this professor in some lessons , and he'd had a stroke from an accident I think , and the result is that one side of his face is paralyzed , or at least not functioning like it used to.

Problem is, these sort of people aren't lipreadable.At ALL.I remember I used to struggle.I remember I'd curse my bad luck - he's a good teacher really , it's just that I needed clarity.Ugh.

Well , this semester I got alloted in one of his lab classes ( every Friday ) and I had the first class this Fri.

I was in for a surprise.

First , since it was the first day , he had to get roll.I used to keep close attention on roll , trying to not miss my cue , but I usually failed.I'd have to stay behind and ask for him to mark me.

Well , not this time.I was distracted , typing away on the lab computer.I hear my surname , and my hand goes up automatically.Then I realized , WTF ? Did I just do THAT like a hearing person?

Wow.I smirk to myself, feeling like I was in cloud nine.

Lesson starts ( and no , I don't have any FM ) and he starts talking , giving out his email , laying out lesson guidelines.I used to get nil with him, and I'd go by the whiteboard cues to try and orient myself, or take cues from anyone that was beside me.
Another surprise.

I could get 50% of what he said , as long as I had even a sideways view of his face.IF he walked around , I'd be totally lost.

Is there a cloud higher than nine , people ? I'd like to know.Because it was where I was! It still was hard.I still struggled.

But it was easier than pre-CI.A.helluva.lot.easier.

I still got out with the usual headache and a paper that is due next Fri.But I was feeling better than usually am feeling.and not as lost.

Cue in today.I had another lab class today.

It was a total disaster.Three professors , the two mumblers , the one that wasn't was talking all the time on his cell phone.And I didn't advocate for myself.Not good.

But the tail end of the lesson was completely hilarious.

I was trying to get started on the paper that's due for the 18th , when professor's phone started ringing, bothering me.At the same time , my iTouch dinged , alerting me on something off FB.Professor asked me to turn off my cell phone.I told him it's not a cell phone ( my real phone was on vibrate anyway ) and that his phone was AGAIN ringing.He did not believe me.(He had it in his briefcase , and the ringing was muted in the classroom noise , but my CI picked it up )

I insisted he goes and check it.He did.It was indeed his phone.He eyed me , a bit suspiciously.As he answers it , his eyes go wide , and he realizes I'm the one that I walked out on him almost two and a half years ago , when I was suddenly alerted for surgery on my ear.
I think he realized that I hear a lot better.Ha!

Alerting Systems

2010-10-05T01:04:00.002+03:00

For a long time , I've been researching alerting systems to install in my flat.

I might have the CI , but essentially , I'm deaf . I do hear enviromental noises , and speech ( and my speech discrimination is going up slowly but surely.
Also don't forget..when I'm sleeping , or in the shower , or even just taking a break from hearing..what happens ?

At first I thought I'd get the cheaper option - a Geemarc alerter device with a remote doorbell.It was only 100€ in Greece.
I was told that the remote doorbell might be stolen , and anyway , I couldn't drill anything outside my door.There was still also the downstairs door buzzer to consider.So that was discarded.

Back to square one.

It was only this or the Bellman Visit 868 system in Greece.
The latter works a different way.The Door transmitter is hooked up beside the actual doorbell , programmed and it 'remembers' the sound of the doorbell to transmit an alert to the Bellman 868 receivers ( it also can be expanded with a baby monitor, fire alarm , telephone monitor , etc ) and has a host of receivers to get what suits you better.A friend loaned me the grey small pager to try out , and I got the Door Transmitter , hooked it up and I tried out the whole system.It works beautifully, dispelling all my doubts that I had initially , since it was completely wireless.It works like a charm ( had it for two weeks now , works better than I even thought! )

A thing that Bellman should make is a plug option for the travelling people ( in the age we live , where everyone travels , it's a must ! ) and also something that would be installable in the bathroom without needing any plugs. ( I , for one , do not have ANY plugs in the bathroom , or , at least any that are working , LOL ) And it would work with a battery ( with the ability to be switched on when you get to the bathroom to save up battery juice ! ) but maybe I'm dreaming.Who knows.

I'm researching my next options to be honest.I'd love to have money to fully outfit my condo , but I had only enough money for one door transmitter , and I'm planning to get another for the buzzer , sometime soon.Then next, who knows , it'll be based on what I'll learn.

Sea urchins,snorkeling and ear!

2010-08-05T14:23:00.003+03:00

Hello!

This summer is progressing quite well for me, and I'm currently at my parents , having completed another yr of speech therapy. *smile*

I loved every min of summer so far , doing late night chats with my online buddies , catching up with some long lost friends ( thank you FB! ) and in general enjoying all that summer has to offer.

On August 1st , we celebrated my father's birthday , it was just a simple meal on our boat , wishing him happy birthday , and doing a lot of swimming.I even snorkeled with my dad to get sea urchins for him and mom to eat their gonads , which are a delicacy here.We also got mussels , and few other sea things that I don't know the name of! Also , we learned that it's kinda uncomfortable to step on them..

I also found that a frustration I had last year with snorkeling has been somewhat eradicated.I couldn't wear my mask last year bc the back portion was directly over the implant , and it allowed my mask to leak water , leaving me very frustrated.This year , it was almost non existent , probably my implant has settled a little more in my skull , or I got more muscle over it , who knows? There is still some minimal leaking , but it's not THAT annoying.I got a new annoying thing though..The lower portion of mask that covers the nose , is a bit tight there to not leak water in my nose , but , with the braces , leaves my lip a bit numb! it's not a big problem , but I did manage to get myself drenched when I attempted to drink water immediately after removing it! LOL.Well , the wet people fear no additional drenching! I also decided to get an Ear Band-It if I can to see if I can resolve even that minimal leaking!

While snorkeling , I did see some woods and I deduced they were probably from something getting sunk there.Stones and stuff were partly obscuring them.I also saw some fishes , and I dove to scare them away , LOL.

In the afternoon I went to visit two of my aunties up at nana's house , which now is summer house for mom's siblings , and we had fun visiting , and later , I walked to another house , to see my primary school aide ( she was tutoring me after school ) that I had till 4th grade ( she was vacationing there with her two kids ) and , my , how time flies.It was a bit emotional to catch up with her , but , I was deaf as my battery had died , and I tried to change it ...and I let it fall! Oops , old clumsy me! It wasn't switching on after a fresh battery , so , I was like , hmm I probably forgot to charge it.Out comes a battery holder and disposables ( I always have a six pack for emegenercies , I'm kinda forgetful sometimes ) .Nada.I start panicking.

I had to send it Monday to the office for repairs.Ick.I was deaf until yesterday , and , my , it was a hard time for me.I couldn't hear , I couldn't hear music , and communication was quite the struggle.A lot of misunderstandings , and when it got dark , I couldn't lipread much.It got really lonely quickly , but my CI friends in FB rallied and tried to lift my spirits , and everyone was really happy when I announced I got my ear back on yesterday.Now I've double taped it on my ear , and I'm not going to change batteries again when I'm on the go.I'll try to sit down and be careful , as I don't want to go through THAT again.

I did make some observations though.While deaf , I lost all control of volume of my voice, I was speaking quite worse , and I was having some words muddled.Mom's patience was REALLY tested since Sunday! Not to mention I missed listening to music.Haha.

The problem was that the contacts in the controller , that are for getting power from battery , were dislodged, and they fixed that.Thank god it wasn't something more serious , as I do not have a back up ear.Plus , four days without hearing were a bit much for me!

I also decided that using long coil for when I'm out and about will solve some problems , like the likelihood of falling off me , esp when I'm on boat , ick.I do have one of Kyley's long coil pouches but mom decided to wash it , and , um , washing machine decided it was a tasty morsel and ate it.LOL.But before that , a week ago , we went calamari fishing , and I was wearing my ear with long coil , and it was just...nice , to not worry about my ear , and worry abt my balance ( it was really rocky that day , we kept swinging constantly. ) and abt getting inked from calamari.

I should add that babyworn option doesn't work too well on the boat , for two reasons.One , I know that Freedom's somewhat water resistant , but I do not want to take ANY risks.My head gets sprayed unless I stay in the cabin , where it's hot and stuffy.Second , I don't have anywhere to pin the battery portion so that the wire won't bother me , as I usually I am only with swimsuit on there.I do use all three options where I see fit , and it's just nice to be able to have that flexibility.

I do want to file a bit of a complaint though.What was Cochlear THINKING when it designed Freedom? it's been quite a host of problems for me.My most recent complaint was with the battery prongs breaking off easily.UGH.Also , I tried to get a solar charger for my things so I'll be able to charge them on boat ( ipod , phone , etc ) and , the one I wanted , had only an USB option , and I thought , no problem , it fits all of my needs...except..yup , Freedom batteries.UGH!The N5 charger does charge from USB however , so when I get upgraded it'll be one less hassle!

I also am going to purchase a new battery , with the hope that it'll be my last Freedom one and when I need new ones , I'll have to get N5 ones! A girl , can dream though..I can't upgrade till I'm 5 years post surgery , and every 5 years since then!Another 3 years...*mutters*

Diary of Surgery

2010-07-13T14:14:00.003+03:00

Hmmm..Better late than never ? Consider yourself warned from the title!!

I've had my surgery , 2 years ago..and , today , as I was tidying up , I found the surgery diary I was keeping the first few days..which also is up at my Greek blog.

I've had some friends that are getting surgery or gotten it and are awaiting activation ( a mixture of Greek and abroad friends ) and since we've been talking a LOT abt pre-op , and post op, I decided to translate - with edits here and there , my Greek surgery post diary , for the people here that might want to see the differences, and know my history! ( it's heavily edited though , to protect some people , sorry )

1) Here , we do at least some days' stay , post op.When I heard that some of my friends abroad left the same night , I was SPEECHLESS.Wow.

2) Post op care varies from surgeon to surgeon.Mine forbade me ALL summer of any water activity.

3) Names , and other stuff that is a bit more private for me has been edited out.

Tuesday , May 20th 2008

College...in lecture..I had been trying to set a op date , but my parents' interfering had me , pull my hair out, and I had given up..So , instead of thinking abt the op , I decide to set my mind to the lesson ( almost completely deaf though , there wasn't much hope of it.My HA wasn't helping me much. ).I notice the professor giving me the evil eye.What did I do now?I notice also some violent vibrating.UGH.Mom?Doesn't she know that I'm in a lecture?I press reject button.She'll get the message.Professor gives me the evil eye.I know I've been blacklisted.*sigh*

Life doesn't go well for me lately, I think.I try to do the coding exercise ( Java treeing , amazing how I STILL remember that , even 2 yrs post op! ) when my cell phone starts up again.I reject.Doesn't she knows that I CANT pick it up , since I can't hear?!?!?! I sent a silent prayer that she'll send a text message.Then I recall its spring.Uh-oh.Something's up with my family??What?

Ding.Text message " Audie just called.Your op is day after tomorrow.you have to be at hospital before 2 pm TODAY."I gape at the phone.WTF! I look at lab pc's clock.12 pm.And my home is 2 hrs distance via bus.GREAT.I'm starting to hyperventilate.I get up and collect everything pell mell into my bag, and professor comes up.Thankfully , I had warned him abt the op some days back, so he just nods and reminds me to bring a notice from doctor.

At the bus homeward where I have to pick up my insurance things , I realize two things.One , I hadn't paid my cell phone bill ( what else is new , I'm a bit terrible w bills ) so I can't text mum back , and everyone looks at me with my ringing phone , mum thinking I didn't get the text.urgh.I get beet red.Fortunately the driver sees pity at me , and picks it up , tells my mother I'm already homeward , and going to hospital ( I knew him ) and that stops stupid phone ringing.Also , in my panic and hyperventilating , I forgot some of the books , and my USB flash drive.urrrgh.Oh well , no time to go back!

I get a taxi straight to home from railway station , leave my things ,get what I need and I get the same taxi ( told the taxi driver to wait ) to the hospital.I arrive just as the admission office is shutting down.Ack.A quick explain , and some jotting , they tell me they'll do the proccess first thing tomorrow and to bring my papers then.I go up to audies, tell him I've done admission, and he tells me , fast up , come first thing tomorrow at nine am.

I then , get on a ride bus back to college , which , with a lot of people getting off work , was three hr drive just to get there , and , thank god for small mercies , I find ALL my things.

Home.Exhausted.Beyond belief.And I have to warn in.Have to send emails.Too exhausted to think though.I manage to phone my parents , arrange college affairs , warn my online friends( Greek , back then , I never had thought to research on CI abroad community back then ).

Pass out.Dressed.In front of laptop.I manage to wake up , eat something , put away laptop and change for bed.

Wednesday , 21st May 2008

I wake up with a jerk , and I see the clock.( it always vibrated at half past six , to get ready for college )

I remember it's my godmothers nameday , I have to phone her later...then it sinks..OH MY GOD.I have to be at hospital later.So , no breakfast.Uh.And I haven't packed.I feel a bit nervous.I start packing , but in my nervousness , I don't even recall what I put in.I'm close to throwing up, it isn't only CI , but my first operation in general , so I was scared.I wanted to call the whole thing off.Deep breaths.Don't think abt it.

I recall my list.I had planned to prepare meals , and freeze them.Well , no time for that.Maybe mom can do that.I boot up laptop , load it with LOTS of viewing material.While it downloads it , I'm off for a shower , and to pick up bread & milk , my parents were going to come in , but they didn't know where bakery was , or they wouldn't have time.The morning walk to the bakery and back calmed my nerves a bit.I also have picked up breakfast - cocoa milk , sesame bread , to eat after my blood draws.I get home , freeze the extra bread , grab my bag , and I get going.

Bus stop , waiting for bus to go to the hospital , I realize I forgot my insurance papers.Urgh.I backtrack.Again at the bus stop , I realize I am without my overnight bag.Ack.Leave it , I'll tell my parents to bring it.Or someone will bring it...My mind is playing games with me ?

Hospital.Admission and pre - op stuff.Know the staff that will operate me.Anesthiologist.Cardiologist.Nurse ( he was male ) , doctors.I get my pressure taken.I tell them I have LBP.They don't believe me .Well , I was stressed , and it hasn't sunk in yet , but I don't talk.( Yes , now that you know me , you'll find it strange.But back then , I was more shy. )

I was feeling scared.My parents haven't arrived yet , they got stuck.Everything LITERALLY last minute.

First blood draw.Ouch.Well , at least I can eat something now.Uh , no time.Resident ENT comes in , and says , I'll show you where you staying.Women's ward , ENT wing , 8 beds.Most are full.I leave my papers and some other things , and I get my breakfast and pocketbook , to his office, where I reply all his questions while eating.He asks me , are you worried, stressed abt the op.I say , well yes , but also with the time frame you've given me , I 'm run off my feet!! He laughs.

He walks me back to my ward , and says , wait here for cardiologist.I finish my milk and throw it in the trash.In the meantime , the other patients want to know what I'm in for.We start talking , when I find another CI patient , with who we've talked over the net.I get excited and camp out to see if I can meet her in real life.Cardiologist comes in , does her stuff , says your pressure is fine.I try to compose an answer , but she's already gone.ack.Oh well.doesn't matter I though ( apparently , I was WRONG! )

My parents arrive and , at the same time , CI patient who is discharged so , I introduce myself and my parents to her.We talk for awhile , and we're excited.Lots of advice.My parents talk with Head ENT , who takes me in to examine me , and says everything is clear.It finally starts to sink in.I want to panic , hyperventilate , but I suppress it.I don't want to cause a scene.Plus , it was my own choice.Wasn't it?

I still hadn't done the chest x-ray to confirm I'm not sick, and to see anaesthiologist and surgeon.That is SLOW.My parents get impatient, and I tell them , go home , I can handle it here.

They leave , and I'm starting to get antsy.I can't sit still even at home ( yeah , you know it ) so , stress , and anxiety made me even more so.I start walking all over the ward , and when the other people complain , I go for a walk at the hallway.LOL.

Oops.Some of the blood draw got wasted , they dropped some of the vials , and needed some more.Sit down.Yes ma'am.
I talk with CI friend , she's talking my ear off , haha.She probably tries to make me sit.LOL.Uh , oh , another blood draw? What are you nurse , draculas ? Your sugar was a bit high , so we're retaking blood.OF COURSE it would be high , I had eaten breakfast.Nurse replies , you didn't tell.Well I hadn't time , you came in sat me down and left again.

Anaesthiologist comes in, cross checkes history , takes his leave after asking some extra q's.I say the other patients at the ward , I'm going for a walk , I'm getting nuts , plus , I wanted to think.

I get back , and go for X-ray , and I talk with the surgeon.Pre op finally done , and it's already past lunchtime.I manage to persuade resident doc to let me go , and I get home , finish packing , make some dinner , and I get back to the hospital at 8 pm, after some more internet talking , and I feel calmer , I talk with mom too.I tell her its no point to come with me , come tomorrow for surgery around seven or so?

The hospital bed is hard , plus , I keep waking up , with the nurses constantly coming in the ward to tend to the other patients.

Thursday 22th May 2008

Nurse's aide wakes me up at seven , and she gives me a calming pill.Which never WORKED.I was SO nervous.I started again walking all the ward , and when I get kicked out , the hallway.Does that make you remember something ? :P I get some last pre op stuff done , and around 8 or so , my parents come in..A nurse brings in the surgery clothes..uuuuh , how do you wear these?
I start joking that with these I'm all ready for psych ward , and everyone laughs!

I got in OR around 8:45.I feel something pinching my left hand..Ouch!The team's trying to put the cardio monitor stuff , but I get shy and hide my chest.Well they conked me out a bit earlier.

Deep breaths...count to ten..OK..one , two , three , five ( I remember skipping 4 and everyone laughs ) I start getting dizzy , I say six...I see this huge mask...and..I don't remember anything else!!

I saw SO weird dreams , I still remember them.Suddenly , I feel hands on me ..Wasn't I in cloud nine ? someone pushing me , slapping me gently...I want to sleep some more mum, I wanna say..but I notice , my mouth can't move much..I try to open one eye..I see something green ( I can't see without glasses much! ) then , my brain feeds me with memories..Jolt awake! The op , the running off , EVERYTHING.I think..I DID it.I pick up my free hand..and I pat myself , yup , bandage here.I start grinning.The doctors wanted me to frown , smile , do some expressions , to see if my side was ok , and , I was grinning.LOL.I did it!

I got disconnected from all the paraphernalia , and get wheeled in my room.While I try to crawl in my hospital bed , I think..whoa , I'm in a HIGH.No wonder druggies are ADDICTED!LOL.I couldn't make a coherent word.Nurse says that I'm not allowed to sleep for two hours , and that I should keep the oxygen mask on my face.They connect me with some saline , and I HATE that.I want my hands free , but I can't protest at all , seeing that I'm completely out of it!

Mum , in an attempt to keep me awake , gives me my cell phone , to start texting..I give it back , saying I can't..since I hadn't paid it.she gives it back , and gives her phone too.LOL! ( afterwards she complained of a high bill! ROFL ) I send the first text , but it was completely blank.Wow.I'm too out of it.she texts back with a question mark.I manage to stumble a response.I'm out.I'm ok.I'm drugged up.She replies back with a LOL, and goes to alert some common friends via net.I managed to text everyone , LOL, and by then , I was allowed to sleep!

Dad left straight back for his work , and mom stayed with me at the hospital , to look after me.I got in a 2 hour nap , and then nurse wakes me up in the attempt , to put some IV medicines.She also brings me some hot tea to drink.I DETEST tea.I drink some though.I couldn't feel the taste.My tongue is completely NUMB.

I even had some visitors the same day.I was feeling better by afternoon , but I didn't dare get up, I was feeling VERY weak ,very dizzy.
Kept napping and waking up and texting...and feeling nauseus!!

Friday , 23rd May 2008

I was feeling a LOT better , I could again talk , text , but I didn't dare get up.I was trying to sit up and getting really dizzy.It was a bit frustrating for me.
I was feeling really out of it , and my apetite was coming back , so I managed some soup.I even got a visit from my brother , and we did a walk around evening , with him supporting me.after that walk , I was feeling FINE , just I tired more easily!

Saturday, 24rd May 2008

I finally was back to my old self..exhausted , but back to normal.Except one thing.That bandage was driving me TOTALLY up the wall , TOTALLY bonkers.It was SO tight , and I'd had already developed sores.I was feeling so normal that I told mom there isn't point of her staying all day anymore , just visit me in afternoons , bring me books etc.I even requested the laptop to see my movies , etc.I was getting BORED.
IV was also driving me up the wall , I kept changing positions in the arm since my vein kept blowing.UGH! I wanted to be DONE with it and OUT of the hospital.

I even managed to go to toilet without ANY help.Even shower.I even was feeling some taste back.( it completely came back after two months )

I didn't request a painkiller that night , bc I was feeling overdrugged! Well , I came to regret it! By two am I was hurting quite a lot , but I didn't talk , just tried to sleep.They had told me when I wouldn't need IV painkillers I'd get the bandage removed.And I wanted that thing OFF!

Sunday , 25th May 2008

I woke up really early , around 6 am from some noise , which I translated in an Enduro motorbike.LOL.I was wondering why I was hearing that , ( I didn't know abt tinnitus , or the need of brain to make ghost noises back then ) and my back was KILLING me , so I got up for a walk , and I even did some gym routine , see if I could relieve my back.I had seen myself , and I was looking like an extremely sad puppy.aaah...*sniffle*

I made it back and slept some more , and when I woke up , I requested to get the bandage removed.No, wait till head doctor gives say so.UGH!I was so sad and annoyed I didn't want to talk with ANYONE.

This afternoon I had a visit from the kiddos and their mother..they weren't expecting to see me like this.S , even brought me a painting ( which I still have! ) , I give them juices and sweets from other visitors and we talk.I get up for a bathroom break , and in the hall way , I meet the resident doctor , ad I grumbled to him abt the bandage.They told me then that I had some serious bleeding , and they were keeping me in and bandaged as precaution.Um , nice to know THREE days later.NOT.I even learn they were thinking of doing something , but I proved not needing it..I asked some questions , and it ends up , if they listened to me , we'd avoided the whole mess.I grumble again and they said I'd get the bandage off Tuesday.I get annoyed and walk back to my ward , and start joking with my visitors , etc.

Around evening , they leave off , and mum comes in half hr later, with my laptop.Finally , I wouldn't be bored out of my mind!

Monday , 26th May 2008

I had resigned myself that I wouldn't get that bandage off till Tues.BOTH my ears were in pain , I had operated the left , but they had tied the bandage behind right so it wouldn't slip , so I was feeling CRAP.Not to mention I had gotten sores.urgh.

I was trying to see House MD on my laptop , when audie comes in for a visit.He asks me what I'm doing.I'm dying of boredom I say.His answer..lets get your bandage off.Needless to say I followed him!

I get that off..when I smell antiseptics with clear spirits I almost fainted..I managed to hold on...Whew!!

Activation...WTF ? Four days early...but back then , I didn't knew..

he shows me how to assemble it , how to wear it , and he starts the activation proccess..it was an experience I will NEVER forget.Never.Even my stomach vibrated!

Mum was beyond herself.Almost crying.Walking back to my ward..I could hear a lot of things..after awhile , it got a bit too much , and pulled it off..but I was glowing!

I even could hear myself kissing my brother...wow..what a SOUND!

I got discharged from hospital two days later.*smile*

Friendship, iTouch-ing and call-ing!

2010-06-26T13:55:00.002+03:00

Boo!!

Haven't posted for awhile , been busy!

A happy busy though..

I'm two years post implant , and just day before yesterday...I heard the phone ringing as I was expecting my mom for a weekend visit.

It was her sister.:)

Ayup , I picked it up and had a brief chat.A VERY understanding chat.and I didn't realize it until later.

I finally feel like all my hard work has paid off.I finally realize I've FINALLY taken off where I wanted to be...

For awhile I was feeling struggling , but I can't be more thankful than I am to my friends , my CI friends , who were happier than I was! They kept me going and they kept encouraging me , even when I grumbled.I feel sooooooo happier now , and as if a circle is closing here.

I also watched a greek show , the other day , and could understand at least 70-80% of it!! I was laughing , and shared it with a couple of my friends.

Three years ago , I realized I was losing my hearing,I realized I couldn't phone or call my parents.I couldn't feel anything except tired and struggling.

Yesterday I was just relaxing , and I could differentiate from when it was my turn in Scrabble ( was playing a game with some gals and lost. ) from when my MSN messenger or Skype dinged.Or FB chat ping.And it felt NORMAL.

I could hear the word curtains being shouted from outside , someone in his van was selling curtains and bamboo furniture - I think also carpets , but not sure - and it was a bit flooring!

I also got an iTouch , and loving it.Listening to music ( I've even loaned it to my mom y'day to listen to her talk radio show that she missed. )

it's been a charm!

I also realized , that I've got some friendships for at least this long , two years.Others are a year long , or just under the year mark.

And yet.

I just sit back and think...I've hosted a friend :) , am preparing to see another , am hoping to see yet another implanted , few are going bilateral , and yet.I'm still here.

CI didn't only gave me the miracle of hearing.( and it's the most profound miracle! ) but also the miracle of having all these friends.My mind is scrolling with all the friendships I've made online.My heart bursts with every single one , and some for me , are the dearest of all.

It gave me the miracle to know who is my true friends , who is happy with my triumphs , who is with me when I get down , who is kicking my butt when I over do it!

I can't wait to hear my nephew crying in my ear , or hearing him snuffling and fussing( sorry cousin! you'd want a peaceful son! LOL! ) and my honorary nephew's doing the same ( sorry Kara! )

I can't wait for more adventures , hearing or not.

Back to my iTouch...WHY doesn't it has a blogger app ? ! ? Hmmmm....

Friends

2010-06-02T04:41:00.002+03:00

Friends...

Some friends I see almost every day.I say good morning to them.We exchange pleasantries , smiles , how's you , small talk.

Some I was seeing every day when I was a lil kid.We still catch up from time , either when we visit each other , or via text , emails , to time.With some , I've lost contact , or have frozen our relationships.Childhood memories make me think of them as friends though.

Some I talk to them every day online.Commenting on each other's FB walls.Most of them I've almost never met them , except our online chats.Some I've met , some not , but I care for each of them.I'll think of them , even if they're at the other side of the globe.Or in far-flung corners.I don't care.Or in different time zones.We make it work out.

And there are friends , either here , or online , that really 'get' me , or me them.Some have a CI as me.Some have two.Some have none ,but they try to understand.

I have friends very near and dear of my heart.And I'm glad I have them.Because they're here.For me.Either in the same town , or in a far flung corner.

It's all that matters.

This post , is dedicated to all of you.We come from different walks of life , have different views , beliefs , values.Some are the same , some slightly different , but , we are working together to build this bridge that is called FRIENDSHIP.

My wish , that this bridge , from me to each one of you , never crumbles.Or to each from you , to your friends.But , never let it crumble if you can help it.
If you are reading it , sit back a moment , and think about your friends.and smile , revel in their caring and love for you , and in your caring and love for you.

Summer is coming...

2010-05-29T03:18:00.005+03:00

I haven't posted for 3 months..bad me!

I'll do a bullet update again

Braces : I get them tightened every month.Got the last tightening yesterday and it's been the most painful since I got them.Orthodentist ( is that even a word? ) said since I was doing really well and they got straighter so soon that he'll tighten them a bit more than last time.And I let him.What was I thinking?!?! I couldn't even eat my soft spaghetti.Thank god for ice - cream!!!
CI : I recently got toupee tape from Tammy ( she also included some cables that Aiden didn't need any more , aww , I want to thank her so so so much! ) and since then it's been a charm.The sunglasses pose a problem though sometimes.I don't like lopsided.Oh well cant have everything I guess.On the battery issue I posted a while back - my brown battery got broken the same way - grey prongs off!And it's off warranty.And...I don't have any money to get new one...*sigh* it does work though if I tape it.
Speech therapy : We're doing some oral motor stuff , and AVT stuff.So far , I can pick more things , but I can tell I need a mapping , and soon.Haven't gone since last year ( at my 8 month actually ) , and I celebrated my 2nd hearing birthday few days ago..But , again , I don't like change much , and I don't want to go to my audie since I don't like him.Other people here love him , but it doesn't take much in my book to dislike someone. Phone exercise gets frustrating though.I don't have anyone to exercise at home , and speech's phone ( a wireless one ) sounds really tinny sometimes.Plus , on my previous mapping I could understand my mom on the phone.Nada now.And I don't speak up as often as I should.My online friends will find that weird ,but in life I'm terribly shy.I speak yes , but I don't stand up for myself and let people talk/walk over me , claiming they know best for me.
N5 : It finally came to Greece in late April , and I went to see it up close 2 weeks ago.it seemed so TINY and thin!! I tried it on my ear and it was like , whoa , I feel like I don't wear much.it was a welcome change from bulky freedom.I did ask a lot of questions at private CI centre , and they told me that it won't get approved since my insurance will not do it till warranty on my Freedom has run out, and they take the extending one too,so it won't be for 5 yrs(I've done 2 of them though..another three to go, and by then , Cochlear might have something better anyway... ) .urgh.I asked the price of one , to get it maybe privately.Not gonna happen since the price is 10,500€ and it's a bit too much.I maybe could get a loan , but not possible right now since I don't have a job.I really wish I could do it though.
Blogging : Sorry I slacked , but I follow all your blogs faithfully , and follow most of you through FB and I prefer to comment on there.Or Skype,emailing :) I do have a story to tell , but sometimes I feel shy and don't write.Maybe I should do write.We'll see.
CI art : There was some wanting on FB for CI art , and I made some clay items and submitted them , which are posted here.
CI moments : I've had a lot of them , but the most profound one was when I skyped someone on video , and I heard her asking me " How are you ? " in English, when my first language is Greek , and I haven't trained in English since , I want to master Greek first.It was a bit overwhelming to catch that , even if it was a bit crackly.

But even if I don't respond..or be as involved in the blogworld as I used to be..I still share my moments with CI friends , people that were with me since this long journey started.Since I got in this...I've done amazing things.I changed , and let myself wonder at the miracle of hearing BETTER , listening, reconnecting, connecting with people.I've made a great network of great friends , and some closer ones.I value each one's friendship , and be amazed abt that too.Amazed for hearing a sound, and few moments later , FB-ing it , only to get cheered up , and feel more happy thinking , I've got people that they 'get' it.They care.And they're in corners of the world.Singapore, USA , UK , Germany , NZ , Australia.Far flung corners( at least for me! ).

Hugz!

Nameless post.Or , rather a lot of posts rolled in one.

2010-02-03T13:50:00.004+02:00

Wow, I really let time slide without blogging....So , I rolled all the posts I should do in just one post.I'm SO lazy.

Braces are going good.I've gotten used to them , and I've already seen a BIG difference , my teeth are straighter , and nicer.I really love it now.And I want to thank all the honest opinions that did tell me that I definitely need them.Although having to eat spaghetti with braces is annoying.Um , and lets not forget that I still have four gaps where I used to have four teeth.I also couldn't get used to that I should be careful when eating , and I had a wire popped off once.Yeah.Oops.Around Christmas too , when everything was shut off for holidays, so the wire really irritated me.Lesson learned.I'm more careful now.

I go back on the 9th to get them hopefully tightened.For the last few appts all I got was to change brace things.Oy.But , EVEN with them I've seen a difference.

Speech therapy goes too well.

Last session we tried something , don't know how to call it , I turned my back and my therapist said random words from random categories , without telling me first.I got almost all of them , and that kept me happy , because I thought my auditory memory had ground to a halt.I used to struggle in the computer program.Uh , apparently not so.I can listen to short excerpts of books while I have it in front of me and reading , so apparently that helped my word recognition.The words that I missed I had said something approximately close in pronounciation , and the same syllables so I'm coming close to hitting it.

Apparently it's harder for prelingual.Something I also noticed is that my lipreading skill is a bit more rusty as I don't depend on it as much as I used to.I also don't get fatigued if I lipread all day like I used to.I used in the end of the day to be really exhausted and I was always in bed by 11.Um , lets say now that my bedtime is around 2 am.*grin* it didn't click till now.

The one thing that really annoys me is that when CI battery dies , I'll always yawn in the 5 first minutes.Um , isnt that kind of rude ? Plus , it never happened with my hearing aid unless I was REALLY tired.

Apparently my brain works much more hard than I originally thought.Good to know , although I don't want my lipreading skill to fail, so I've been really concerned about it.But one thing I noticed is that a big change.

Before I'd just focus on the lips and sometimes ONLY the lips without reading the whole face/body thing unless it was something really obvious.

Now though it's another story.I feel like I know some people a LOT better.Um , lets say that now I know when I'm about to be pranked , as I can see the twinkle in somebody's eyes.

Or when they are about to cry , I notice eyes shining with unshed tears.And that makes me reel.For obvious and not so obvious reasons.The obvious , because I don't want anyone to cry.The not so obvious is that I reel with myself , recognizing depth of emotions , just from a more open look.I used to have tunnel vision and now it's broadened with just having the CI.

Sometimes when I think back on HOW MUCH I really struggled with my hearing aid , I wonder how on earth I did it.
But I didn't know any better , so I got on with WHAT I knew I had.

I got sidetracked, so , about lipreading.How to preserve that?

So far my solution is to have Sundays as deaf days , even if I go out ( although I do have my CI in my bag just in case. ) And I notice I struggle.But I want to keep my ability , because even if I cherish my CI and I marvel at my progress , I want to keep all tools in my belt , just in case.

And I noticed with some rest time I tend to function better on the hearing days.

One other thing , not so CI wise , but related is to CI anyway is this.

My purse got stolen the other day.Someone got it without me even knowing it.And I had all my bank cards and money in it.Which I got them cancelled and replaced , even if it was a drag.But my Cochlear Patient Card was in my purse too.With my phone numbers and address on it.And doctors phone and hospital.Um , yeah.I don't know how to replace THAT yet , although I'm trying to find out.
I used to have the hope that they'll contact me with it or at least mail the purse.Um , not so happening.

We also started our pre-Lent Carnival thing.I see a lot of kids dressed up.Little princesses , and spaniolas , pint sized Zorro's and Spidermans.Superman , Snow Whites.Carnival ends on the 19th and on the 21st I have my nameday celebration.

On the 8th I have also my birthday , and in anticipation , I ordered something for me.It's the Western Digital Media Streamer Live.Can't wait for it to get here.Plus , the latest expensive things I got lately always had to do with CI.

Speaking about CI.Around Christmas holidays , I actually mentioned that my battery broke.Well , it got replaced through warranty.And speedily.I was actually impressed with the service QUALITY I got from Ci-shop.Especially when I am used to the sometimes terrible and dodgy service on other things I am subjected every day.

Also , I decided after a bit of debating , to let my hair grow longer.So now they're kind of longish , so I pulled out a hard headband to wear , like I used to.

Um , big fail.The tips of the headband really bothered the skin over the internal implant.I was a bit dismayed , as I don't really like pins to keep my fringe in check.

I was really disappointed.They weren't long enough for a ponytail even.Then I decided to use a soft headband.That doesn't only works good , but it also helps to keep my coil in place.And my hair.

2010-01-03T14:24:00.003+02:00

I seem like I've fallen off the blogland..*sorry*

Lately I wasn't in a mood for writing , and I seem to prefer more FB'king or instant messaging over the internet..

So , first of all I want to wish you a happy TwentyTen.Another decade passed.Yikes!I feel a bit old now that I'm on the latter side of my twenties..

I've been also busy..

Braces : I got them put on , and they felt REALLY weird the first few days.Then one day I felt like I was wearing braces most of my life.Weird how adaptive the body is sometimes.They occasionally hurt a bit and I can't bite anything with my front teeth now , it is uncomfortable.Let's say I really remembered what is the purpose of a knife..Yeah , that's explanation enough!

I had a pretty decent time this Christmas , just relaxing and enjoying time with my family.I just wanted to spend time with family and relatives.I also am questioning the point of my impending trip to Athens, where I'll see some friends, but I'm not sure if I should go - I can afford it ,but I feel like I shouldn't go.

CI : Yesterday I noticed my long coil had stretched out and the cord was exposed to the elements.That isn't good , so I asked in FB.It still works , I just am worried about it stopping working suddenly as I'm depending on it 50% of the time( and 100% these holidays as I managed to sit on my nice pair of glasses.And broke them.Eek.I do have backup frames , but they're BULKY.The repair is going to burn a bit of a hole in my spending money.).

Maybe other CI users wear it on the ear only with maybe an earmold for not losing it , but I beg to differ.
After years of having earmolds in my ear I'm not keen on putting anything on my ear at all, and anyway I've seen a BIG improvement on my allergy/breathing issues since I ditched the hearing aid I was wearing on my implanted ear pre - CI, so I refuse point blank to get even a skeleton earmold.

So the long coil that Kylie and Lissy sent me for me it was a godsend - when I got it on early April I used to have earaches all the time from the weight , so I wore it exclusively and attempted to have it on my ear occassionaly to see if the pain had changed.Then I got thin wire glasses which were rimless so I started wearing it on the ear but when I was home I'd switch - but my mom wanted me to have at least the microphone part on my ear , so she got me a babyworn cord - which made a difference in making my life easier ( picking up the telephone , listening to my PAC etc ) but I didn't see any change in quality in quality of hearing.it just is plain convenience I think.Changing the batteries from shoulderworn long coil CI is tricky to say the least.But my observation is that I feel safer that way when I'm doing chores , or when I'm driving my motorbike ( can anyone imagine the CI falling on the road and being driven upon ? Eek! ) or when I'm at my dad's boat..where I get wet with spray at my front and head...but the CI is quite protected at my shoulder most of the time.

My observations from wearing the babyworn are few but I'm left with some questions.

1) The Accu holder is BULKY.I'm starting to wonder how toddlers and babies tolerate it.I'm said that it's slimmed down with the N5.I solved this problem with putting the Accu into a pouch ( yeah , it was ideal ) and I reduced a LOT of the bulk.I can understand people wanting to just see the LCD screen , but for older children that still wear the babyworn I think is ideal.Also , it is made from plastic , which breaks often.Yes , you can replace it , but not everyone can afford it.

2) The babyworn is one fixed length only.That certainly puts me into wondering what was Cochlear thinking? I am aware they have bodyworn cord that is more lengthy , but they have a different controller for that - I like to be flexible.I like the ability that my small box I have stored everything in gives me so much freedom.I'm going to some nice do? I'll wear the full BTE for few hours.Going for some shopping or to college with my everyday clothes ? ( In winter I dress only with turtlenecks ) I'll put the babyworn and hide the Accu in my bra.And the brown cord tangles with my hair and most of it is hidden from the turtleneck anyway.Going for driving or doing chores?Or , even , wearing my old prescription glasses that don't leave any space for a CI on my ear? I'll put the long coil and put the BTE in the pouch.

Another observation that I didn't make on my own.I used to be hyped about the new N5 which is seeming to be better , but after reading a long post that said that essentially the N5 has the same weight with the Freedoms , I just was kind of put off after that.Not to mention of the kinks that were listed.What certainly got me interested was the remote control though.But I'm in a wait and see approach.

As for the rechargeable batteries...The one I got 11 months ago..it broke.Yeah.it broke.Thankfully , CiShop said it was under warranty so it is going to replace it after I mail it in.I should have a new rechargeable in few weeks.And , thankfully , I have some spare disposables and battery cage with me.( Needless to say I had bought two rechargeable batteries so I still have the one , and when it dies I used to put the other , but now I have disposables in instead. )Apparently , the top grey prongs came apart from the main body of the rechargeable.

Plus , since having some of difficulties with my CI and not having everything on hand , I turned a small Strawberry Fruitcake coin purse in a CI purse for my own purposes.I can fit a six pack of disposables in the bottom ( with the top cardboard folded or cut though , a spare short coil , and my long coil , a battery cage for disposables , pouch with alligator clip and the cochlear battery holder with the spare rechargeable battery.Plus an microphone cover.That will cover almost any problem , and I don't have to "remember" anything.Oh and I have an EarGear too , although I don't use it anymore.

As for storing the CI when I'm out and want to store it somewhere ( VERY rare , but it happens sometimes )it goes in my sunglasses case.I just don't see the point of hauling around the bulky case that Cochlear gave me.

Bullet list - an excuse to jump from topic to topic without preamble!

2009-12-16T22:50:00.001+02:00

I haven't written anything for awhile..I've been a bit busy , and when I had time I wasn't in a creative/writing mood...plus , I didn't have anything to write about..

So I'll bullet some things...

I got my braces in two weeks ago.They feel a bit weird.
I decorated my Christmas tree a week ago.I usually do it a LOT earlier usually it is up by Dec 1st , but it was really warm , and I was feeling like an Australian ( no offence to my Aussie friends! ) so I didn't decorate earlier.
I didn't even had layed the carpets , but I did one this weekend with my mom helping.And promptly falling over it.I tripped.Yeah.Carpet rash is unbecoming.Not to mention that without glasses I can't see where the CI went.Stupid living room carpet.Now I''m in no rush to do the other rooms!
I'm not in a Christmassy mood - usually I am the biggest fan of Christmas..just because I like the trees the music , the mood.Even the family visit for a week and a half with them , then going up to Athens to see my friends there and celebrate.But this year , I'm not in the mood.I just want to stay in my apt and pretend there is no holiday.Hope that changes in few days.
CI moment #1 I could hear creaking floorboards in the laundry / guest room combo.And it drove me nuts.And I was chuffed I was hearing it.And chuckling because it drove me nuts.
I broke my nice pair of glasses.and I can't find a place here that can fix them.
CI moment #2 I can hear the doorbell consistently now.No whining about it anymore. Turned out that I accidentally turned up my Sensitivity and that was the trick.What was going on.Also , my mother was getting up every time the doorbell was rung , so I could assiocate the sound.Weird thing , my brain!
I had some troubles lately.I'm tired of always having something urgent to do.
Speech therapy gets easy for me.I 've started getting a little bored with the repetitive pattern.But I try to do my exercises and move forward.Plus I can hear counting in Greek and distinguish up to 100.I can hear the bus stops even when I'm zoned out.Now we're working on correcting my pronounciation.That has a downside to that.When my mother used to correct me , I'd always get annoyed.And I still get annoyed.I have to work on that if I want to improve my pronounciation.That's not the best job to do over the holidays.
CI moment #3 I can always now tell when my phone goes off.I can hear landline phone fron ANYWHERE in the apartment.I'll try to turn down the volume and start over..Neighbours don't complain much abt the sound as they know I need it.I can hear my cell phone from my bag if it's ringing.I can hear the text ping if I have it on the coffee table.
I tried the other day to make some recipe with pita bread.The only edible thing was the pita bread.LOL.Then I smiled as I remembered a friend that LOVES pita bread...Hi if you're reading this!
I'm having a row of bad days...I don't know..and I'm astral-challenged.I don't even read my horoscope.Some of my friends claim that is because Venus or Zeus or some planet or other is in a bad position and that won't shift until end of January next year.I.just.give.them.the.look...
The last week I inevitably make something that will be with pita bread.Apparently steak goes pretty well with pita bread baked 5 mins on the oven , sprinkled with oregano and some olive oil.Forget french fries.it's just so easier throwing the pita bread in the last 8 mins of steak cooking.Forget about having to get at 9 am to get proper bread.I just get frozen pita breads from the store.That's Alexandra's fault.Hmm I'm going to go bake some more pita bread.(Plus , you know , pita bread doesn't stick to braces , you know ? )
I'm again addicted to a tv show.That is usually an on and off relationship with the tv.I can go days without even switching the tv on , and to me it's just one more decor on the corner of the living room.Then I happen to just want some hearing company..and ..WHAM I'll get hung on some show..This summer was Extreme Home Makeover with Ty.After September I wasn't so keen on watching it anymore , partly because I had always something to do.Now it's December and I'm hung on some show they imported from Turkey.Good old drama soap opera ( I used to hate soap operas , what's that? ) but something about the different ways they do things addicts me.Plus , the place I grew up has quite a bit of Turks.I don't know much words but I'm used to hearing it in odd snatches when I went out with my family.Let's see when my interest will drop off that.
Today I'm crass with my CI.I just wore it for speech therapy and the walk to there and back home.As soon as I got in I threw it on the hallway table.But it's not a mapping issue.it's that I'm in bad mood as I explained above.Today the random receiver was my CI.
I'm just annoyed.With my building neighbours.They decided to get a new carpet for the entrance stairs.And to change the tiny lift which needs apparently replacing which didn't ever break down.I don't use that thing regularly , but I do notice when they have notes on it that it doesn't works.Hello , we have credit crunch?Plus , the torrential rains and leaking umbrellas are absolutely going to stain the new carpet.
I just watch all the CI blogs and I'm happy for any progression/funny stories they share.I just am kinda jealous too because my own progression is slow as snails.
Plus , my laptop needs a serious formatting on its hard drive , but I just can't face it.But in the meantime it's slow as anything and it's tedious work.You know..first saving up stuff , bookmarks , uncluttering too in the way, then doing the format/reinstall OS , then you go and install everything else.Then you realize you forgot some vital program , and you have to install it and reboot.install and reboot.Gets kinda repetitive , isn't it ?
CI moment #4 I can now hear without looking what two particular tv commercials say without looking.Both of them are about adult beverages.Erm , maybe I need to get out more?

That was quite a long bullet list , isn't it?

Just Smile and Laugh

2009-11-22T00:13:00.003+02:00

As soon as I hit publish , I noticed it was past midnight.

I'm officialy 18 months post implant.Post surgery.Wow! Time sure flies.

As I've been noticing it , I recalled a conversation I had awhile back..it was when I was 6 months implanted.

I was at speech therapy , and there was a boy with an implant and we chatted with his mom.

Me : How old is he?
Her : He'll be nine yrs old.
Me : ( Genuinely curious ) How many months does he has the implant?
Her : Erm he's had it six..no , seven years.
Me : ( getting a surprised face ) Wow , I can't imagine even having my implant THAT long!I can't even imagine myself hitting the one year mark.

She laughs along with everyone else in there.I did make myself sound stupid, yeah , but I simply couldn't imagine something like that.I couldn't wrap my mind around that.

Now I can.:) perspective has sure changed in a year!

Where you ever in my position , not imagining having the implant THAT long , or it's just me?

Also I want to say..

18 months ago I was waking up from surgery and feeling my head...and was feeling so confused.I felt like I was DRUGGED.Saw weird dreams.LOL.

18 months ago I can remember the hope I felt.and I still feel it.only that now it's accompanied with a sense of achievement.

I'll make a long list with what I can hear and can't maybe tomorrow.Now it's time to sit back and smile.

Smile at my blunders.Smile at my successes.Smile at my nerves I had 18 months ago.Yeah I was a bundle of nerves and was walking ALL OVER the hospital.NO KIDDING!!Smile to the new friends I made bc of the CI ( Hello Laura , Mei Mei , Char Char , Tammy , Rachel to just name a few ).Smile at my apprehension of using Facebook but I did , wanting to connect with the CI community more.Smile because after hospital I did try to research every website.Smile remembering my first chats with everyone.No I don't keep logs , but I have a good memory.

Most of all I'm smiling down to the sweetest faces I can finally hear.*smoooch*

And I'm laughing.To life.To me and my blunders.I did drop the kitchen curtain y'day , did I tell you? well it did an awful clatter!and I had to laugh , first for me being clumsy , second for hearing it , third for just the joy of hearing myself laugh.

And I do hope I made you laugh!

In Which I've been letting the blog slide waaaay back..

2009-11-21T19:51:00.002+02:00

Oooops..I sure forgot I have blogs to maintain..well life gotten busier..

And anyway I didn't have much to post about lately..Plus my weekend started out early as I've been knocked out from the spacers..

I did say I'm getting braces sometime this month , but , they had to put spacers first and they bloody hurt..Not to mention that I'm always flexing and tightening my jaw , a bad habit that I always was said that I have to stop..well with the pain I had to cut it right back...

It's weird , with four teeth removed , I certainly thought the worst was behind me..not so..apparently moving your teeth and irritating your gums isn't too cool either! I certainly was getting to get cold feet last night , not to mention day before last.On top of that I had back pains.Yeah , this time of month always decides to come when I'm most miserable and glee on me.Weird , I know.so the last two days I've been complaining non stop on FB and to my friends , so I think they all cleared off me till I manage to say I'm back to normal.lol!

I'm not really normal , but I'm feeling better as long as I keep my mouth a bit open.Next Thursday I get the braces fitted I think, so there's a sure fire way of cutting my bad habit! I hope I get back to normal real soon , I'm sick of wondering what to eat and try to munch without hurting.

I also became a bit lazy around here and I didn't picked after myself , so my apartment looks like a tornado was through it! I have to get through a LOT of laundry and ironing.

On speech therapy , I'm going better and better , although I should get a mapping sometime soon as I'm starting to notice a decrease.I'll have to schedule that after I'm finished with the braces.Maybe sometime before the holidays.Phone calls sure are easier.The weird thing is that I hear pretty well when I'm with my cellphone , when my landling I can't hear crap.and I have a special phone from my HA days..Go figure.I'll have to get a normal landline and make comparisions.I was bummed though to cancel speech yesterday but I was feeling really miserable.I'll have to reschedule that appointment and I expect I'll have to cancel next Fri too.I don't know if I'll go on Monday either , I'm waiting to see how I'm feeling and if I can talk and eat normal.

Also with braces we'll have to stop the oral motor exercises for a little while , dunno how long.we'll see.I've been trying them now and they don't cause me any discomfort except that one I was failing anyway to do, so I think I'm good to go.

Nucleus 5 and the Cochlear Store

2009-10-27T17:07:00.002+02:00

I might be late but at first I wanted to make my own post when Nucleus 5 is going to be in Greece.

But I can't wait! *smile*

I want to place my musings on that..

- After some asking around ( I even asked Cochlear offices here by email and they didn't know anything about it , will ask my audie when I next see him ) I deduced that anything that gets approved at US will be two years down the line for Greece.Freedom has been in the market for US around to five or six years ( can't recall exactly ) and it got approved in Greece two years down the line.Maybe this one will be speedier ( I hope so ) but I won't hold my breath yet.

Oh ok , everyone knows that I am holding it.

Frankly - lighter processor ? with all the trouble I keep having with my Freedom for me is a reason alone to upgrade!

A remote control ? it gets better! I like being flexible and not having to remember all combinations of buttons for this and that ( I remember them yeah , but that is not the point ) and have instant troubleshooting.

LiteWear? that gets me even excited.Granted , it might not be for me ( I hope! )

Seperate cable coil and cable button ? Wow.Just even better.And the lengths are the same money!I peeked into Cochlear Store..they're all $95 regardless of the length! And the coil button - you can have just the one and change the lengths however you like.a definite plus as I utilise shoulderworn a lot.And these cables can easily be tucked away in a small pouch that I have for most cables ( mp3 , cell , etc )

The two battery option even has me hooked.Although there IS going to be a rechargeable sold and soon as it gets FDA approved it is going to be available
online.

What was most dissapointing though was that there weren't much pictures.The only thing I managed to see was the Remote Assistant and the magnets for the coil ( they remind me of a clock by the way )

Also - the Freedom Cochlear Store has O-rings for sale for the rechargeable batteries and they are...a WHOPPING $2!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! My brown battery became useless a few days ago..and I put an O-ring from a battery cage I had lying around.

Greece , approve it already so I can start insurance authorization to get the new one...Yea , I'm impatient *grin*

I also need to shout out to Tammy who sent me some Topstick tape for free to try it out! She's the best!Thanks dear ,and do give a big kiss to Aiden!He is a precious!

*sigh* I am going to order some Freedom things I need and I wish it would be my last order..but it wont..

Progress in Listening

2009-10-20T21:34:00.005+03:00

I haven't been posting my progress at all lately..shame on me!

Hmmm what to write what to write....

In two days I'll be one month away from being 18 months implanted..wow time sure flies!

In speech therapy I've been doing oral motor exercises although I laugh sometimes in some of them because I find them a bit funny! I also started doing phone exercises.I have a text in front of me and my therapist has the same one..and we communicate via the phone in seperate rooms.Today's room was a bit creepy though, it was underlighted...

is the hardest right now , and I'm told not to use telecoil at all..hmmmm..any thoughts on that?

I also was suggested to start again studying on my electronic piano so I can distinguish tones ( I used to study the piano when I was in junior high , then stopped when went to high school..not much time. ) I'll have to get my parents to send it to me or bring it next time they come over.

My progress has me pleased and I'm also looking for fairy tales accompanied with CD audio.When I'm done with them I'll donate them somewhere or give them to kids!I might even start little Sophia to read to me something simple while I try to listen next time I visit!it will be challenging to listen to a little kids voice!When I was wearing my hearing aid I couldn't hear little Sophia's voice and I utilised lipreading a lot! I also had her sister help me a bit , but the little baby figured out she'd get more favors if she spoke deeply.Haha, the little devil!Now I can hear her but I can't listen so I still use lipreading.

After some comments - some well meaning and some expert too saying that, but also a couple have demoralizing me , I decided to put on braces.That will be probably sometime in November!

Also , the other day I was listening to some greek YouTube song..and I managed with some help to decipher the wording and I could even understand where the singer was stressing the word! that had me excited..maybe I need to do that more often!

Ooooohhhh!!!

2009-10-09T21:38:00.002+03:00

I went to Athens again for a friends' wedding , via train...as the daytime train chugged due south , I enjoyed the scenery that was rolling from thw window , listening to music that was spewing from my PSP ( which I use as an mp3 player ) when suddenly the music stopped.at first I didn't even investigate it , thinking I was between songs.

As the pause grew longer , I thought that maybe my PSP had turned itself off.Weird , as I had taken care of charging it fully the night before , in preparation for the 4 hour ride.So I opened my bag , only to see that it was still actively playing..

What had happened? at first I thought..Hmm faulty coil? as I searched my head for the magnet that adorns my hair , I couldn't find it.My coil had popped off without me even getting wind of it.

That was unnerving me , as I had become used to the constant tugging of the coil.That made me wonder.What is the right way to wear the coil ? When you feel a little tightness or when you don't feel it at all and only thing to notice it has popped off is the clue you don't hear anymore?

What made me chuckle was that I immediately didn't even think to investigate the CI , but my music player first and then I did remember it.

Maybe it is finally becoming something I'm not anymore conscious of.Is that good or bad? I don't know , the only thing that I know is that makes me feel like I've achieved some step at last!

If only the weight problem could be magically rectified , I'd be happy!

A vote that led to unrelated things.

2009-10-06T13:02:00.003+03:00

Greece has been in upheaval since Sept 4th when the ex-Prime Minister announced the start of elections.

The tv spouted election spots.Vote that one , this one etc.I always switched the tv channel when they got them on.Panelists were discussing about the wings that might win.Shouting was the proper word , but let's keep things civil here *grin*

The culmination was this weekend when voting was started.Voting stations are at schools , which finish the week a day early , so they can prepare the classrooms for votees.They remove all the desks , and keep only two - three for the voting leaflets ( yes we do it the old fashioned way ) and for the box were you put your envelope with your secret decision.

My family and I went on Sunday afternoon to vote.And that led to some other thoughts of mine , that are totally unrelated.

We went in to a school that was our assigned voting station, at the village that I am descended from my fathers' side.Me , my mother , my father and my brother.We found the classroom that we were supposed to vote in ( a few years ago , they were segegrated by sex.Now we're segegrated by alphabet letter our surnames start with. ) and the voting comitee that was looking in the books for names requested our ID's.And thats when I noticed I was hearing horribly.As I gave my ID card , I looked around the classroom.It was mostly empty except for three desks lined up.And the sound bounced everywhere.Plain white walls.Marble floors that cleaned up easily but were horrible for sound bouncing.Not much furniture.No carpet.

And after reading much blogs that had exactly that on their blogs, something clicked.I marveled that I was really struggling when I went to school.And I didn't knew that some factor had to do with the environment.Most of all the sound was a bit horrible.When it was my turn to vote I could hear from inside the curtain someone stamping some papers and it sounded 10 times more loud.I was glad to make my escape.W

But while I was taking my ride home , I suddenly realized that there ARE a lot of HOH and deaf kids across the country , and are really struggling here.The FM systems here are an unknown entity.And if they were known , the school system wouldn't provide them.The parents have to get them ( and it's not affordable thing ) and I wondered whether the FM system would help it or make worse the bouncing.Especially the ones that offer amplification to the whole class and are not personal like the Microlink from Phonak.

I'm eagerly waiting your thoughts.I'd love to try something or have someone try an amplification device in a similar setting and share his/her experience.Would it be okay? Would it be as horrible as I imagine ?

I need to vent...

2009-09-30T00:42:00.002+03:00

I just need to get it off..

Sometimes some days are GREAT with my CI.

Others are not so great but I cope.Because I want to hear!

Some days I'm so thankful for the chance to hear again and to be able , just today , to discriminate some words from the tv.Or other things on other days.

But my progress has been slow and frustrating.Maybe my audie needs to get a better map for me.Maybe he isn't competent enough.Maybe I'm just one of the tricky patients.Or maybe I should speak up more on mapping points.

Another aspect is that nobody warns you about the changes , transitions.Not the ones from the sound , but the change from Hearing aids to CI BTE's.

I went from a Widex hearing aid Senso+ P38 ( I don't know how powerful it was , but I had it for 10 years , and it worked well for me.Served me well.Before that I couldn't even imagine talking on the phone , not to mention other things. ) which I have still in a drawer , in it's case , like I used to do every night.I can't even give it away to Lion's Heart or something similar, just to help people , because I'm still emotionally attached to it.

I still expect to wear my Senso, even if I'm 16 months implanted , and going.

But I also remember one thing clearly.That my hearing aid used to be so light.I couldn't feel it at all.

Or maybe I'm not attached to my CI yet.Maybe it is because it's so troublesome.Or it is maybe because I had it less than two years.( For anyone wondering , I'm just a person that doesn't do anything if she's not emotionally attached to it.Just because.Especially when it comes to something that I will have for life.)

When my CI was on my ear , it was still SO numb that I couldn't feel the weight.You see , I was activated soon after CI op ( something close to 3-7 days , I can't remember , and I can't be bothered right now to check )

I was feeling like my ear was going down a few days later.No , my actual ear , not my hearing.That's when I googled on CI blogs.I found an unimaginable trove of information , and a lot more.Before my CI operation I had logged on CI brands homepages and researched.My choice was obvious , because I didn't like MEDEL ( it was the only other option offered to me ) and I tried to contact the CI people in Greece.We even have a club.Which, is not active.the webpage wasn't even functional.their forum wouldn't let you register.UGH!

When I heard that activation abroad was a month later , I was floored.I also started to suspect that my early activation might be the culprit for all my ear troubles.

Because when I'm pulling my CI , I don't feel relieved because I can relax.Or that I can have some peace.I feel relieved , well , because I think , there goes the weight off my ear.

I tried the shoulderworn approach.It was very helpful and useful.( Thanks Kylie ) but , I'm so used to wear something on my ear that I don't feel right.Also that isn't workable anymore because I lost both of my pouches that Kylie generously provided me.

I decided to order a Snugfit when I went to get my controller replaced.The office that represents Cochlear in Greece , didn't have any in stock.It had only a child sized pair.They had to order some from Switzerland.I ordered a brown large pair.They wanted to be paid upfront.I told them I will pay on delivery because I need my money for going back home ( I was on Athens after having to see Rachel off from airport ).Also I had dealt with other companies like these that always promised delivery , got your money , and then they couldn't even recall the order.UGH.So they promised to deliver it.I ordered them to be delivered at my parents home, so they can sign it off and get it.Because of my mapping that I can't hear my $^%& doorbell to get the delivery.And on the estimated dates , I was supposed to be on a day trip somewhere.

Well big surprise here.The snugfit , two weeks later hasn't been delivered either here or my parents' home.They promised a four day delivery at the very least.

and today I snapped.My ear started again tingling and stating that it had enough.I got CI off, switched it off , twisted controller off and wore it again like that.Just the processor, without the controller part.And I feel like bliss , but I also feel like I want to hear.And that drives me crazy.

I can wear the full BTE for four to five hours without my ear complaining.After that all bets are off.

I even go without CI when I'm home , just to not have to think about it.Everybody that has seen me , can attest to it.

I always planned to get a babyworn cord , because here in Greece we don't have backup CI's.And I like being able to get the BTE when I go out.But somehow , it gets on the backburner.I have to pay for that bill.I have to repair something.

Maybe I had a bad week and I'm getting it off on the CI.Who knows.The thing that I know right now is that my ear approves from just the processor on the ear , that says that is just right.

Maybe Cochlear should provide with everything in their box.Even a babyworn even if it's for adults box.Snugfits.

Some insurances won't cover for anything else except the CI operation you see.And CI's are expensive.

Even the Coil costs double the price here.Even the setup for Babyworn.

and I'm back on plain batteries because I shouldn't have brought my charger in that sucky hotel.Now it's not working right , and I found it was the power cord which needs to get replaced.

My coil is giving signs of dying out , it starts to crackle.Thankfully someone sent me a free coil a while ago, out of her heart's goodness.Hi yourself if you're reading that!

I also want to pay someone back , but my bank is giving me trouble with paying back abroad.

I also had a nightmare experience when I had to go to a private practice to get my teeth x-rayed.I had to get a front and a side xray.I removed my CI.Immediately my ear went like WHEW the weight is off.That just made me feel inadequate.and I couldn't hear.Then I was told in no uncertain terms that I have to remove my glasses.Well , I removed them.The lady kept talking to me.I couldn't see her clearly enough to lipread so I put them back on.She was cross.I told her that I'm deaf already, and without my glasses , I'm all but blind as I can't see her well enough to lipread her.She was cross but I stood my ground.She finally saw my point so I sat on the xray machine while she directed me.when I was all set she went you can get them off.I got them off , but the little squabble added to my frustration.I was pleasant and everything , but inside I was fuming to myself for feeling inadequate enough.

At least I scared the xray people with seeing a cord thing in my side xray.That was the ground wire or the electrode.LOL.The doctor came back outside and asked me what the hell was that did I wear anything on my hair.Then he stopped on his tracks as he saw my hair was so short that no ornament could have sat there.I told him about CI operation and raised some awareness.He was interested to learn that.He wanted to ask more but he had to xray more people.*smile*
And I had to pay in the front desk for the xrays.*grumble*

Greece has a lot of expensive things AND bureaucracy.

Right now I just want to forget where I'm living.To forget that I have the farmer's insurance in Greece , which is the WORSE insurance in Greece.It won't even cover ANY of my dental plans ( much less any of CI related stuff , except for CI operation ) , and I discovered it this afternoon , it definitely won't cover the braces I need.Or the wisdom teeth removal that I'll go under in Nov.So my family has to fork over the money , just because.

Whew , I feel a lot better.But I also don't want to burden anyone else.Sorry.But I just want to take it off.

I just hope tomorrow will be in a positive way.Or I just had a particular bad day.

A visit ,a cracked processor and a lot of thoughts.

2009-09-26T16:46:00.004+03:00

A few weeks ago I had a visit from the fabulous Rachel Chaikof who is very vibrant and nice - I think I made another friend.

Everyone knows that Rachel is a great advocate for CI's.She also is bilateral ( something that is exceedingly rare in Greece , although I can hear some scattered bilaterals here and there in Greece.), and she has been giving me tips on advocating and I've been telling her all about the situation here.

Here is me and Rachel on the Castles of Salonica , a place at the upper parts of Thessaloniki.This pic was taken with permission from her site

I had a lot of fun with Rachel, but about pics and places - go to her site she has about traveling.

We went to Thessaloniki's places and we also tried Athitos ( or Afitos as we Greeks say it , that place has two names ) , Rachel , remember the old granny? LOL. We also went to Athens and Acropolis and a lot of other places.I wish she could visit again sometimes so we can plan more trips around here.She made me see my country with new eyes....

I also had the chance to see someone that is bilateral, because as I said earlier , that practice here is non- existent, although I've been wanting that for myself , but I can't afford it.

I noticed a LOT of differences , and I'm certainly going to try and go bilateral.I am waiting on an email from my insurance that I'm pretty sure it will come back negative.But I've been persuaded after ONE trip to port bay where I couldn't hear ANYTHING while she could hear me so good that I was floored , and I had a lot of thinking about it.

Rachel also tries a lot of things that I don't try , such as Telecoil - which was pretty disastrous with my hearing aid - all I could hear was noise and nothing else , and it's been the same when I first tried my CI.The culprit now was my laptop fan which overwhelms everything else , I tried using it in buses , and other places when I'm away from laptop , and to my surprise it works better than I was expecting!

She also suggested to go for a better map and I'm certainly going to do that after elections occur ( right now I have no desire to trek down to CI centre and get nightmare traffic jams , I'm not that masohistic! )

I was so pleased to meet Rachel and I hope she comes again sometimes , she certainly is welcome here.We also share the love of knowing new CI implantees , which I do here in Greece.Right now I'm in the proccess of helping a new candidate take the decision for her implant ( she's going for Cochlear too ) and helping her with a lot of advice.

I certainly feel more enriched and with a different perspective , and although she's certainly gone through so much and still have a vibrant smile , made me want to do the same and try and make some changes.

On other news , while Rachel was here , the Nucleus 5 was unveiled , which got me pretty excited.I also posed the question to Cochlear forums when that is going to be approved in Greece and I was directed to Damplaid Inc , which is the representative of Cochlear here in Greece.UGH!

Cochlear needs to open its own offices here in Greece , Damplaid is taking advantage of having the representacy and has pretty high prices.But that is certainly something I've blogged about.

Also I've stopped using the rechargeables for the time being - since I got back from Athens my cord charger isn't working right, and I'm afraid of putting it in case it does something worse, as I've paid for my batteries , so I need to be careful,I certainly need to replace the power cord sometime.For the time being I'm on plain batteries ( which I need to spend anyway as they 're from last year and they going to expire. ) , and that made me remember why I made the switch ( aside from economical and ecological reasons ) was that I always fumbled with the small batteries and I always would lose one.I lost one on the stairs today.ugh.

Also , Rachel saw my CI one day when we were trying to find a solution for it to stay on my ear and mentioned that I have a cracked controller - WHAT - and I was so embarassed I didn't notice.My CI is so dark that I never noticed.I got that replaced though , easily , although I was a bit shocked at the place where I got it replaced ( that is another blog post though ) , but what concerns me , is a cracked processor affecting hearing ? Because I definitely noticed a difference.I think my processor was cracked for quite awhile , because now I can hear very faintly the doorbell ( although only if I'm under it and if I know it's GOING to ring ).

And Rachel's solution worked for few days , then it started again falling out.UGH!! I've been checking thoroughly for another crack.So far I've been lucky.The shoulder worn doesn't work so great now because I need a safetypin pouch ( I'll have to order one )due to me wearing high necked clothes but I'm also going to check out if I can find a babyworn cord , see if that helps me.I don't mind how it appears , as long as it helps me.

Regarding controllers cracks I've been checking other kids processors in speech therapy and telling them to go replace them if they're under warranty.Most of the parents are thankful about my advocating even to them, as they know I'm just trying to help them.

Oooh , before I close I should share something.Rachel has that big camera , which she let me try a few times , and I could hear her shutter clicking.at first I was what the hell was that?then I understood it and it started bugging me , as I couldn't hear my camera's shutter.Well a few minutes ago I managed to hear it.YAY!

Anyway I should stop here or I'll go on forever.

Seeing my country through someone's eyes.

2009-09-12T15:58:00.002+03:00

As I wrote before , Rachel Chaikof came to see Greece , after Israel.

We've been walking , making friends , and most importantly , TOURING , and she shot countless pictures.We're yet to finish the touring ( which will culminate in Athens ) and today is a relaxing day.

Her pictures , and most importantly , her blog posts about Greece , make me see my country with different eyes.I still have the same perspective about my country , but I also find that I have different lenses to look through.

I love talking to her about everything and anything.I feel enriched. Oh , and she passed down some of her movie obsessions.But more than everything I feel like I'm slowly gaining another friend , another perspective in life , and most importantly , learning from her experience.

Last night when we were watching movies and talking until the small hours of the morning , although VERY tired from the previous day , I felt something that I could not identify at first.I felt content.

Life is so better when you try different things.

Oh and as a side note , my english comprehension is going up!!

Odds and Ends

2009-09-02T23:31:00.004+03:00

I just can't believe that summer is over..I had fabulous time that summer , and that made up for last summer too , I hadn't felt like that for two years...

This summer it helped me more than anything.My parents even did their part , instead of us bickering all the time ( mostly for the big stuff ) we decided to let them drop for few months and really enjoy some family time.Boy , did that help!

We went a boat trip to Samothrace three times , and I stayed to homebirth place too , to see friends and relatives.I even went camping on my own, to meet some friends there..it was GREAT.

I returned to my apartment to fix bills , try to make the home presentable , and to look after Theo for few days.Right after week's old Theo stay , my parents came to stay and install the AC..Figures it would be installed on the first cold day of fall! I'm lucky like that! At least it'll be there for next summer..

In a few days I'm expecting a certain someone , and thanks to my dad , I'm in my sickbed , suffering an allergy attack which usually lasts a week, and add that up to exhaustion due to lack of proper sleep , and that adds up to someone pretty grumpy , getting hot and cold flashes , and a pretty annoying cough! ( Dad opened the porch doors wide at the living room , that's where I sleep when my parents come , to be as far away as I can be from their smoking , and because they get the double bed to sleep. and I was sleeping only in a nightie , which resulted in me getting a cold , which resulted to allergy attack , and frozen shoulders.Left one is still a bit sore , right is back to normal thank god! Thanks a bunch Dad for making me miserable even after forbidding you open up anything before I'm awake and properly dressed.NOT! )

I just hope that I'll feel better soon ( best case scenario I'm better by Saturday , but that's a long shot.Worst is Tuesday , but that's not acceptable either.So I hope by Monday morning to at least be up and running , the exhaustion is no joke!! )

I just can't wait to meet someone though!!! It's only FIVE days till I meet Rachel Chaikof , although I'm nervous that I'll be embarassed either from speaking mangled English , or letting my shyness overwhelm me and not speak at all.Or even bolt from the airport.Ha ha.The last just isn't going to happen , don't worry. But I'm worrying for the first two possiblities , but I'm going to brave it , and wing it.I will survive , and so she'll do , and I dare say she'll even thrive!

I rambled far enough , and I have to go back on my book...I'm reading breaking dawn , from Stephenie Meyer.It's good..Next on my list is a greek book , then I want to read something fantasy or sci fi too..but what? nothing too scary , but exciting , different.Any suggestions ?

I also am thinking of trying audiobooks in english soon , see if I can understand anything...but I got confused with the abridged and unabridged versions.Anyone can help me here?

Long Time No See...

2009-08-14T10:52:00.002+03:00

I haven't written in that blog for SO long...Guess I've been off the blogworld for a while..

First I became addicted to FB , where I can directly post a question abt anything and I will get few replies right off.

Then I've been enjoying chatting online.My everyday companion is Laura.We talk about everything and nothing.I enjoy very much our chats.Also often if not everyday is Kara , another online companion , although now she doesn't log in as often as she used.Not to mention my favourite cousins , and two greek friends that we talk everynight.So I haven't been completely off the internet , I just wasn't inclined to post anything on here.

Not to mention that I was in vacation with our boat two or three times with my family , plus almost every other afternoon going for a swim and fishing with the boat , fishing calamari and whatnot.Ink stinks if it gets in your eye though.

I'm back at my home for two days now , and I'll leave for a camping weekend trip later today , and tomorrow is bank holiday here *smile*

After that it'll be the second half of August which I plan to spend with getting the apartment painted , install an AC for next year ( I've been melting from the heat here ) and do a few other odd jobs so the apartment will be in shape ship order for winter.Then it will be 7th September , the day that a certain someone will be visiting me for two weeks and we will tour here and other places to our best of knowledge.I can't wait for Rachel Chaikof to arrive her and to meet her in person , even if I have some doubts communication-wise.My written English is almost perfect , but I haven't spoke them in MY voice for at least a few years ( and that was pre-CI.Not to mention that I can't lipread English.For some reason I could HEAR it and speak perfect, Greek been another matter , I rely too much in lipreading ) .I hope we will both survive!If not , cell phones and notepads will be whipped out!

Plus , I've gotten to know another CI family in Greece , who want to know me and show them all the Freedom care n tips.We will meet up right after my camping trip , from which I'll be back on Sunday night or Monday morning.It's a little girl that reminds me so much of myself when I was a baby ( seen her in hosp appt , then her family emailed me without knowing I was the same person.LOL! )so I already have kind of a soft spot for her.

I also plan to visit some friends close by sooner than later , and I can't wait to see what the new school year will bring!

No news abt the CI , humidity is a big problem in my hometown , and seeing I was on a boat and in a swimsuit , I didn't wear it as much.

Next post on Monday hopefully I'll post some pics from summer..

CI relationship status?

2009-07-02T19:11:00.000+03:00

Since Kylie dearest sent me two pouches and a long coil , I've been utilizing them as needed..

It's a choreography..when I'm about to go walking for losing weight , I'll pull on the pouch and long coil.

When I'm about to go to college , I'll wear the long coil for the ride with pushes and shoves, and will switch to short one when I'm in my seat.Off it goes to the way back.

When I had to cook I used the short coil with an hairband that I have , and sent Lissy the same too.Long coil sometimes flies off and dangles.It goes on again for me to do the washing up.

I have a special pocket in my bag,it houses the music cord , and whichever coil I'm not wearing , a pack of six pack batteries , and a battery cage , and also the 2nd charged to go rechargeable for my CI.Oh , and the hands free for my cell phone , which connects to my music cord so I can make and HEAR calls.

Anyway , back to subject.CI isn't only for the active life , like Kylie mentions , it's also for the pack mules.LOL , yeah , you heard me right! I was armed for my short weekend away ,laptop bag on back , usual bag at my front , carrying a non-wheelie suitcase.Which was HEAVY.Ahem , lopsided.

If I had short coil I'd had tucked away the CI, in my bag, I'm not willing to lose it.

Long coil , no problem.I carried everything.Coil flipped off couple times and I didn't even made a wild grab , to let anything drop , or make me inattentive to road hazards.I just waited till I was in safe ground , and calmly popped it into place.It gave me a feeling of peaceful.Stress levels alarmingly low , like my HA.

And that put me in thought.

When I was first activated , I hated it.I loved it.Can u say confused? Missed my HA.Terribly.I didn't miss it too much either.For a few weeks I was going around with a piece of felt wool , replacing feeling of earmold.I had felt like they had gotten something away for me.And I eventually broke of the habit , when I started to get ridiculed.

But I hated the weight of CI..it was bulky.Weighty.My ear was sore.I wore it when I had to , and didn't wore it at home , trying to get my poor ear a break.

I also hated CI for the hole it made in my pocket with batteries.With my HA , it was just a pack of batteries every month.Now I ate through them like crazy , I'd need a 60 pack a month.Suddenly I was overwhelmed.I also kept losing new or old pieces of em , crawling in places to get them.Yes, I've even tried to crawl into driver's cubicle in college bus.The old ones always went to recycle.

As you see , I hated CI with passion , and I loved it with equal passion for almost to up to a year.

Now I just find myself , not only thanks to Kylie for her solution , but for my own choreography.For opting into rechargeables, and , yes , I'm aware they 'll die in a years' time , but in the meantime I've have already invested into another pair of them.

Today I heard a bit of scrounching , which was when the bus driver put his foot down to start the bus gently.

Pre pouch , I'd always be deaf , jostling made me fearing to lose it.Now I just don't care.

I managed to hear more sounds today than any other time , and the whole day I had gone shoulder way.I slept on the train with CI on so I could hear my stop announcing.I had a nap with it on and heard my cell phone going off , a text to go out , to have fun.

In the Metro ( tube for anyone that can't understand ) I could hear BOTH in Greek and English the announcements for each stop.And I wasn't EVEN paying attention.

A few months ago , when I 'd remove my CI I'd feel relief.Flooded with it for finally it the time to get it into the Dry n Store and feel like I wasn't in hyperdrive anymore.With not having to put up with it any more.

Now , when I remove it, I just feel a sense of loss , taking a sense away from me.When the battery finishes on it s own , and I won't replace it as it's already bedtime, I feel lost.

Now if tinnitus wasn't welcoming in both sides of that world , I'd finally get a bit of decent sleep.I've managed some brief pockets here and there , but nothing more than a week.

I find myself in the position to say..I did choose well with the naming of that blog.It's fitting.Sound of Cochlear Implant.

It's something so precious , and so simple too in the same time!

Why I Chose Cochlear?

2009-06-11T02:20:00.003+03:00

It was widely available anywhere in the globe.The processor had the LCD on the back , something that I find HIGHLY useful for ANY situation!
It is backwards and forwards compatible with any external of Cochlear.
I had found an Europe site that sold most of the Freedom things in better prices , like the coils , batteries , magnets.The company here in Greece has INFLATED prices.( more like triple prices )
No need for remote control ( it's useful , but I'd keep losing it! ) although there IS talk of newer BTE cochlear model with remote control...
Also , I figured that more than half of people I'd contacted about CI both in Greece and abroad , chosen Cochlear , so it couldn't go wrong.
Internal implant had 24 electrodes , and various mapping techniques, especially for the Freedom implant.
Processor had the option of both , rechargeable , and plain batteries.I use the rechargeable for day to day activities , but when I'm going to a trip , I'm packing some plain in my laptop bag.That way , I don't spend as many batteries as I should.And I always recycle the plain ones.I like going green.And the disposable is handy, too.( the rechargeable I think got out recently , but when I was implanted , it was out )
It had the ability to connect to anything in a trice , without changing anything ( I do believe the other companies , need special casings or hooks , depending on the model )
It has separate buttons for each action , or seperate combinations too to do some slight changes, like volume , sensitivity, or T-Coil , or external equipment.Oh and change map slot too.
Plus , it has the child lock.it is advertised so the kids wouldn't play with it , for kiddos that wear their implant.But I find it useful as I have little hands getting my implant.I just let them see it for a bit then put it on my ear again.no need to check anything!Peace of MIND!!!!
Last , Cochlear box had inside a Dry n Store box!it's too useful.If it wasn't inside , I'd buy it , it saved my arse more times than I count.

The only complaint I've had from my implant is that it was heavy at first ( compared to a hearing aid ) and that the plastic casing that covers the socket for mp3 cords and stuff is peeling away.they should redesign that.And I occasionaly use my mp3 player , or the tv cord.I wonder what happened to the other Freedom users that use that every day?

One Year CI

2009-05-25T15:09:00.002+03:00

Hello...

I've been absent the past week...

Been busier...my laptop broke , and also finals are approaching..

But I remembered something..I'm one year implanted on May 22th , and on the 26th I'll be one year hearing!!

Time sure flies fast...

I had said few months ago...that I couldn't see myself having my CI for years...

And now I'm concluding my first year hearing...it seems so weird to just thinking that..

Sometimes I wonder how the 'older' hearing people with CI feel..I have one that has 15 years with CI and counting..another , twenty!!!

it seems so weird!!!!

I can't wait till September though..*wink*

Weight Issues and pouches

2009-05-07T01:22:00.000+03:00

Since I got my CI , the weight always seemed to be bothering me..

I had searched online..tried to find solutions..Read in AllDeaf forums about various wearing solutions...

1) SnugFits..huh , these weren't provided , and they seemed bulkier...so I decided to wait until someone let me tries his , before I spend money ...I read they weren't the most useful..
2) Babyworn option?Far more expensive , and I was a little sceptical as the length of that cord wasn't enough for me..So I decided to wait..

I determined that my glasses were too bulky..Bought new ones..the problem lessened somewhat..but the weight issue still bothered me..it annoyed me...I wasn't wearing CI in the house..I wanted to give my ear some rest...

I bought rechargeable batteries..that helped a bit too..but not too much..ah , at least I was saving money , the disposables were burning a hole in my pocket each month...

Lotte's father , Cloggy as he is known on the blogosphere , he proposed long coils..at first I was very sceptical..and I did not had the money to acquire a long coil..and i had to sew my own pouches..and I'm hopeless into sewing a button , much less make something for me...So I kind of discarded that option...

Until I saw on AllDeaf people that wear long coils when they go to gym..or other activities..And I remembered , that summer is approaching , and I should find a solution..you see , I drive a motorbike..nothing too much , a little one..I help my dad sometimes in his boat...and we've lost enough cell phones in the depths of the sea enough times to remember to place them somewhere secure..and my CI never was secure..So I decided to look for a solution..

Around that time , popped Kylie , Alyssa's mother , she had her daughter , with long coils too for school , etc..and she sews beautiful pouches for them , not to mention with several wearing options..Alligator clip? Check! Safetypins?Check!

We talked about it online on Facebook..she decided to let me try them..so she sent me two pouches , and an used long coil for free..along with other things...Thanks Kylie..

I received that , almost three weeks ago...

Since then it's been a weight off my mind..They work..Granted , i do wear it on the ear sometimes , but most of the day I'm with the long coil..it does works and helps a lot..See...

Earache? Mostly gone , I still have the odd twang..and no , I don't think it's anything nasty , it's just the scar probably bothering me now..I have other scars in other places , and most didn't stop bothering me at least until they were five years old..LOL!

Weight issue ? Resolved!

Also resolved issue , was my noisy hair..that noise , rustling from my hair..often drove me nuts..I was thinking maybe I will shave them!LOL!

Now my only thought is to get some pouches in light blue denim.And to get a new swimsuit for summer!! Oh , and the odd OtterBox of course, I will need it! LOL!

Kylie..a big Thanks is owed to you! So Thank You..and..Lissy..Thanks for the 'love' cheque , i have it in my drawer..I will cash it when I come to Down Under..

Cha-Ching LG!

2009-04-21T00:56:00.000+03:00

A little while before Christmas , I bought myself this phone

it was an early Christmas phone.Sadly , I noticed it did not had an 2.5 mm audio jack like my previous cell phone ( which also was an LG and also a slide phone I tend to gravitate to these as I can hear well on them )
I thought , no matter , I could use T- coil.well , it was awful.I heard a lot of interference.Tried on it own.Lots of noise.Crowd noise too a big turn off..so I rarely used it , mostly texted.I could hear when I was home , but when I was there , I preffered the landline obviously.

I missed my earhook.I had an earhook , not a HATIS , but a similar one.but there was not an suitable jack.So I started searching for an adaptor , always thinking I could get one.Lots of these on ebay.Somehow , I never got around into ordering one , postage was more expensive than the adaptor.

Until I saw this article. So I thought , hmm , lets try it.

After a bit of explaining and showing the aforementioned article to my friend that is also an electronics guy , he agreed to help me make one , for free.and anyway the spare part we'd need , wasn't going to cost more than 1 Euro.Maybe even less, and he told me to dug out the earbuds for hearing people and bring them to him so he would modify them.

So I did..Only..oops! Never noticed the earbuds..

Into their original packaging , they looked innocent enough...

Probably why I never opened the earbuds , why I set them aside...

I did it just now...

Hmmmm..what's that? Does it unplug? OMG! I never knew!!!Guess I need to check always EVERYTHING even when it's intended for hearing people.

Hmm..Cha-Ching! That was LG company , earning more points in my head.I already had the LG in high esteem for a number of reasons, the best reason , money spent , zero!

I added my PAC and also my CI ..there's , the final thing..

Time of assembly : 15 minutes , including initial shock and surprise.LOL!

Money spent : None.

I didn't test it yet , as it was quite late , and hadn't any 'victim' ready to test it.but I did ring 131 information for hearing the time , and I heard in Greek all the numbers!:P

More news tomorrow..watch for an editing to the post.

Cha-Ching , LG!You just made me FAR more devoted into buying your products!

Bank holiday , new sounds!

2009-03-25T14:33:00.001+02:00

Hey..

I haven't updated my blog in more than a month *gasp* guess that I preferred chatting online and emailing.

also , I've been busier..and moreover , last week I was sick with fever and no CI as I was in bed all day...

Yesterday I was well enough to go to speech lesson..I wore the Freedom...*gasp* guess that when u don't wear the implant for a while , it is too loud after..hmm!

After Speech therapy I went to Theo's place , to finish her airplane , and also to get some pictures done..while I was walking to the bus stop , I could hear the frogs at the field after the road.LOL do they sound funny..like moaning or ghosts!!guess that is mating season here..

Today here it is bank holiday , which means there was a parade this morning , and tradition is to eat fish and hang the Greek flag in porches n balconies( not here.I'm eating lentil soup as I'm still with a cold..LOL! ).it also means that every shop is shut down, so I forgot to buy my meds , had to search last night for an open pharmacist.

Oh , and also I learnt a new word in English..LOL thanks Mei Mei :P I still giggle every time I remember it!!every time I do that , I get still that giggle after..u've ruined my moaning LOL!

Although I do miss some online chats..

OH and also....Lil Bee has her birthday today!! Happy Birthday !!!

Oh , and the book I was waiting to get is published I Don't Believe my Ears!...It went to my list of must buying when I am able to!

I already have Val Blakely's book , I'm all ears and I plan to get I Don't Believe my Ears!,Rally Caps, Ellie's Ears and Happy Birthday to my Ears, Unheard. So you can imagine that I'll spend a fair bit of money here and there.

Oh and I also got an Canon PowerShot SX10IS camera , to replace my old one that got stolen back in November.I was ogling it right from the start, but I didn't dare buy it , as I reasoned with myself that I do not really need that camera , and to look somewhere lower at price range.But I finally gave in , and , boy , I LOVE that I did buy it , pictures are AWESOME! been tinkering with the settings , trying to learn the camera...my only complaint is that sometimes flash is too much!! I try to tinker with ISO speeds , and it works without flash as a charm!

I hope I can find a tutorial that is specific for the camera I have , explaining the differences with ISO and whatnot.I'll ask to the store I bought the camera from when I have some time.Also , that camera has an amazing power reserve , my other camera used AA batteries too , but they tended to run out quickly.these are STILL going strong!!! I got some 300 pictures this week , most were deleted though LOL so in my memory card I have only 100 LOL!

I'm off to do some collegework and later maybe find an ISO tutorial!

Birthday fun , and friendship fun

2009-02-09T20:44:00.000+02:00

Happy birthday to me , yesterday was my birthday.

Had a good time..even on my own! Nobody could come to cut a cake..but I didn't mind much! I just spoiled myself..ordered a pizza for dinner..watched my videos till 2 am and chatted with friends , although Katie made me bust my ass in laughter! She was ranting about no subtitles for a particular show in facebook..and everybody chipped in..till I said..be thankful , we don't have subtitles here in Greece , except in foreign captioned movies.Katie then took it up a notch , she was so sure of the subs in Greece ( she was here playing footy ) that I started laughing , and I imagined her all done up and swiveling a drink , proclaiming it , and I was all like didn't u heard the english voices.LOL! turns out though that Katie was just operated with CI and didn't heard much.But she was so sure of that..and I LOVED THAT! I loved that she was so happy , so sure of her knowledge , and even when she recognized the mistake , she just laughed along merrily.I felt like she was beside me , making me busting my ass in laughter with her antics, swinging about her drink and making everyone laughing!

I also loved that we were exchanging emails with Rachel , talk a bit over fb , that we everyday talk with Laura and she's made me admire her strength and perseverance.Since CI , I feel like I'm surrounded with good friends , that know what's there in for me , and they support me , even from online.Don't get me wrong , I do have some friends here in Greece , good friends mind you , but most are hearing.Only one friend has a nephew that also has CI and another couple are Deaf( one talking like me with HA's , other deaf totally signing only) .but it's nice to know people that 'get it' how it is with CI.

So , here's to 8 n half months with CI , to 8 months with getting CI friends , to 8 months of happiness because I felt that someone understood me! So , thanks Katie-Louise , thanks Laura , thanks Rachel , I wanna thank everyone..but I've run out of names! lol! ( and no way am I gonna thank your twin Little Miss Trouble!! lol!! )

My day..

2009-02-05T23:17:00.000+02:00

My day with my new glasses couldn't have gone better..they're plastic and so light that I actually forgot that I had them on all the day..and I can see better ( my prescription had changed so I had to change the lenses too. ) , but the most important thing? they're very thin..like when u don't wear them..so my CI is sitting right behind my ear.

with my old glasses CI was sitting on the shell of my ear , and were falling often.very often.If I bent down they were on the floor or in the air and I was making a wild grab for CI or glasses.Most of the time for both.I nearly had an accident with CI almost falling in the toilet..YUCK! But I didn't grab my glasses in time either..lol!

Yesterday I charged the brown battery , also I put a brown microphone protector , Dry'n'Store - ed my CI , and today I wore it from the time I was out..( habit I'd acquired as with my old glasses my ear got sore too quickly , now I have to break myself of it.. ) and battery 8 hours later is still going strong! I'm really impressed! will drain it to see how much juice actually it has! and to cap matters..my ear hasn't gone sore as much as other days..( well it has to heal a bit from days past..I estimate in a week I'll be good to go!! )

Also , at first I didn't like ADRO map much.I missed my HA..well guess what..I turned it to Auto , had it for almost a month, no problems! today I said..hmmm lets turn it back to ADRO..well guess what..I hear better with it , only problem is that cars are way too loud! oh well I'll get used to it..Auto seems better for when I'm somewhere that has too much noise..ADRO for other settings..I haven't used BEAM or music b/c I forgot to which slots they are in...( I do listen to music , just not as often as most do , since I've never heard much in music with HA , and I usually turn on the stereo on my pc! )

When I cooked , I always removed my CI..afraid of frying it..lol!! today , no problems..I was so busy cooking that I forgot of my precaution! when I set up to have my dinner..I realized..I still have CI on!

also Rechargeable versus Disposables ? big way the rechargeable..make CI feel lighter somehow...and saves money too..not to mention planet resources!

I'm happier these days..*whistle*

Batteries...Yet again!

2009-02-04T23:45:00.000+02:00

I've purchased the charger and two batteries..on my own..

I don't even hope that insurance will do anything , or , even Cochlear.It should at least lower the prices at Greece.

When I saw the tiny charger my first thought was..what? that thing is intended to be sold here for $1,280 ???? Sorry but it's too tiny and puny..specially when I acquired it for $ 165 from an abroad site.

Needless to say that the charger price , now that I've told of the price differences to other parents at the SLP's office I go to , caused a bit of a stir! and I expect tomorrow that I will bring it out and show it and let them try it out..will cause more stir...

I haven't tried them out yet , as I received it rather late..but , tomorrow is a new day...

will tell u more details tomorrow..!!

But I still can't believe they try to leech that many money from something so basic!

Insurance in Greece..

2009-01-10T14:03:00.000+02:00

Happy New Year!!

I have had neglected that blog..I have quite a few things to write about...

First of all , since Rachel saw this post , we have e-mailed online , and connected on Facebook..

And she posted that above entry , in her blog along with Robyn's story..

And I'm thrilled..it might help , it might not , but at least , it builds awareness!!

On other news ...

Well my particular post office that is in my area , started the proccess in receiving packages from abroad , a bit of a nightmare , to have me to wait at least a few days to receive it..ugh!! and I am wondering..are the few money I'm saving , really worth of all this hassle ? For the time being , I did not order the monthly package with the disposable batteries, as I quite dread the process..and I started rationing my CI use..I wear it only when I'm out and about..when I'm at home , I utilize lipreading.thankfully , Greek is one of the easiest languages to lipread.

Yes , insurance covers batteries , only by choice..some people in the same insurance don't cover them , some do...and seeing as my insurance is expiring soon , I decided it was not worth the hassle.

So I tried to reason with my parents to buy the rechargeables..well , that did not go down well..

They thought that since CI operation , all the costs would be more cut down.*sigh* and it was quite an awakening for them..We're in debate of a sorts about that..

But the best thing , post - CI , is my connecting with a few people..networking , either abroad or in Greece..

And I've met this Christmas , a mother of three adult sons , that wants to do an implant.she's in the proccess of approving. We talked a lot..and I hope her operation goes well!!!

And I've met in September a family , that implanted their boy..who just said this Christmas his first word! the most precious gift for his family..who are so thankful for me suggesting a bet AVT/SLP , and with who I've formed a good bond , and I want to know all about them..it is so heartwarming to see them! We met again on the holidays , exchanged presents and we watched and interacted with the little boy.He's amazing..although his story is not...

And I correspond online sometimes with another family..

And I also wanted to expand on the previous post which I've linked. Since I re- read it at Rachel's blog , I wanted to clarify a few things..

First of all , my Cochlear Freedom box contained everything that is in the US boxes , EXCEPT the rechargeables and the charger OR even , second CI , heavens forbid!!, and also in the US box , they also have a 60-pack of disposables.My box contained only a six pack..oh , yes , your ears do not deceive you...I had to buy my own box for 100.729$ ( 75 euros )....

And also , the prices since last post have been jacked up in Greece..meanwhile , the prices fell down everywhere else , making the difference more higher. And I do not know how higher are they, since I haven't gone to the office that represents Cochlear here, to investigate , nor I want to...

So I buy the batteries for 73.8676$ ( 55 euros ) from an online shop...almost every month I have to plug it and pay..but since the post office debacle , I've started doing every two months , and rationing CI use..

Maybe the people that DO have money difficulties and are having even this one CI , SHOULD receive the rechargeables..regardless of the country..

Maybe Cochlear needs to see that every box is standartized , regardless of the country.maybe that way , there would be a lot less complaints.

So in all..it's a bit frustrating!

but I want to thank Rachel for blogging the issue , and wanting to help..at least , people interaction , helps advocating..

Did I say that the Internet is the most wonderful place for us CI people to connect ????

I hope you had a good holiday!!

Riots in Greece

2008-12-09T13:32:00.000+02:00

I did not want to post something like this..but riots in Greece are a fact just now..

I'm posting an article from the English version of greek newspaper Kathimerini , its from Nikos Konstantaras...

I quote :

The rising tide of anger and despair of the past few years now has its martyr, a 15-year-old boy whose blood will be used to bind together every disparate protest and complaint into a platform of righteous rage against all the ills of our society (endemic and imported). Andreas Grigoropoulos – shot and killed by a police officer in Exarchia on Saturday night, caught in the crossfire of indifference, intolerance, stupidity and criminal neglect that allows minor problems to grow until they come to undermine our very society – will quickly become a flag of convenience for anyone who has a grudge against the state, the government, the economic system, foreign powers, capitalism and so on. The anger that every citizen feels when faced by the death of a young person murdered by employees of the state will be channeled into the renewal of public protests for any number of social or economic reasons. Political movements will reshape their policies around the public exploitation of the cult of the innocent murdered by the state. The state and the government, their hands indisputably dipped in blood, will now devote themselves entirely to their self-preservation; they will do nothing for the country’s inhabitants other than try to placate them with many words and little action.

If Greece had already appeared difficult to govern, it will now be out of control, as we can ascertain by the government’s grovelling and the police force’s spiteful inaction in the face of widespread rioting across the country over the past two days. If the members of the government had already given the impression that they would rather be doing something other than governing (seemingly incapable of dealing with the fallout from the controversial Vatopedi monastery land swap and the country’s runaway deficits), now they will try to vanish without a trace. If self-proclaimed anarchists had acted as if they had a grudge against the state, now that their aimless rage has been sanctified with the blood of one of their own, they will rampage until the last store, the last car, the last trash can in central Athens is burned. The romance of reaction against a nebulous, apologetic “establishment” and the impunity that these groups will enjoy for the foreseeable future, will ensure that the anarchists’ ranks keep swelling. If mainstream political groupings were trying to regain some of the street credibility they had lost by being pampered pets of the system, the blood that everyone now claims as their own will again see our bourgeois intellectuals at the barricades – this time with a score to settle, rather than expressing the rapacious though vacuous dreams of a generation ago, in 1968.

If common citizens and hapless immigrants/refugees had already felt fear because of the absence of a caring state, today we all know deep down that it is “every man for himself.” Interior Minister Prokopis Pavlopoulos has already said as much: “The police will be on the defensive.” In other words, the institutional incompetence that resulted in a police officer’s criminal act will now be presented as a policy of wise restraint. We have already witnessed its results in the fires that keep springing up in Athens, Thessaloniki and other cities across the country.

It is undeniably tragic that the meaningless but dangerous game of cowboys and Indians that has been played in Exarchia for decades should lead to the loss of life. It is tragic that the loss of one life should highlight so many impasses in our society and our politics. Instead of seeing that our refusal to resolve problems makes them intractable, I fear the way that we will use this death will simply make our problems worse.

I can't agree more..a child's death , is used..

Thessaloniki , were I live , the center is going brown from the chemicals , colleges and universities are shut down for the week , shops banks , destroyed..

and all these for what ? what will it achieve ?

Christmassy post -- part one

2008-12-02T23:23:00.000+02:00

So , today I decided to decorate my apartment.It's almost Christmas.

It was fun!

Did you know that most tree lights have music coming out of them , even if it's tinny?

I didn't *chuckle* , but it definitely was a CI moment.I was like searching for the radio remote..was thinking I had left the radio open *LOL*

Did you know that if you hit 2 decoration balls together they clink very softly.

I did knew , I was told of it , but never HEARD of it.not until today.YAY!

Did you know that most of my christmas stuff had some sort of song?

I just got aware of that fact.

After I sat , looking at the tree..I got aware of one sad fact..I don't have any pictures to take you.My cell phone camera is pretty crappy.

So , I decided to do my wishlist.And I compared my differences.Every year , I'd have , a long list.Year after year. I'd want a lot of things that I didn't have.

This year seems so different.only 4 or 5 things are on my list.and most are things that WILL make my life easier. Like some door alerting stuff , as when I'm in my apartment , I have CI off to relax after college.Like the FM system.Or the rechargeables.Or like a good replacement camera for the stolen one.

It is a short list.

But year after year , I always hope I would have them.This year, I do know I won't have them.Not unless I do it myself.

But I wish , there was some christmas magic, to find some unknown pressies under the tree, just for having some of the magic.

I need that magic.But everyone says that I'm an adult now and have to behave accordingly.And adults don't have magic.

So I'm looking and looking.When someone sees me looking at these things , I always say , they're not for me.For a friend.Lie.But , I don't want for once to say that I need or want these things, as when I told them I was always admonished.

So , I just go along , try to find myself.But sometimes a little magic help is appreciated.and needed.

Sorry if this post is a little upper or downer, you choose.

Or maybe I read a bit too much Harry Potter books and fanfiction.But it's a proud addiction of me.Fantasy and sci-fi books enthrall me , bring me to other worlds , that my problems simply don't exist.

But my secret wish is this.To wake up in Christmas , and find presents under the tree.And they will be just *what* I need and want.And even that , to find that happiness , like a child , is just invaluable.

My baby pictures

2008-12-02T00:56:00.000+02:00

Today I grew somewhat pensive...and found these baby pictures of me...

Here I am 15 months old , just looking at the camera.Lol.I miss this innocentness I had , till a few years ago.

Three years old..I wanted to watch Charlie Chaplin , my mom says, and I wasn't smiling for the camera , she wanted to get a picture with this outfit I wore.

A year ago today...

2008-11-23T17:42:00.000+02:00

I just realized something.

A year ago today , I was run off my feet ..Doing all the req's exams for insurance approval to get implanted.

A year ago , I was wondering how it would be , to be implanted.

A year ago , I hoped my insurance approval would come through.

Also , six months ago , I was just waking up from operation.

Six months ago , I felt scared shitless before I was put under..it was my first operation generally..although I had cut it close to some other totally unrelated..

Six months ago , give or take a few days , I was activated ( I was activated within the week. )

Six months ago , I was getting my first taste of pure sound.

And for six months , I've been amazed , thankful.

And also , I began being greedier.I was reading some of the other blogs.Most are abroad , and are bilateral users.
I was thinking "why can't I go bilateral too ? " . I wanted to hear better.I wanted to feel fulfilled..

And , yesterday..I started thinking.A lot.Not only for CI issues, I have a LOT of other issues.

For better or worse , I am Greek.Greece doesn't approve for 2nd implant.Doesn't cover for all the things that could go wrong.Doesn't have the rechargeables with the box.

But you know what ? I'm also not rich.I live moderately well , yes.

I must be thankful, for having at least this one implant.For being able to pay for AVT therapy.For being able to scrape some money to fork over for rechargeables.For living in my own apartment.For having mine and my family's health.

And , anyway , I wasn't missing much , as the last 12 years , I was unilateral HA user, and I implanted my "good" ear.

I always was an unilateral kind of gal anyway. I'd love to go bilateral though , and I *would* do that in a heartbeat.But I can't.Not unless in some magical way , have all the required amount to pay for the 2nd surgery and implant.

I should start enjoying life as it is , unilateral. and it's good enough.And anyway I might still wonder what's so big to go bilateral , I will also try to thrive.

I will try to purchase one set of rechargeable batteries.One boot for FM system for college.And guess what ? that will be enough.For now.

I'm lucky enough , and I shouldn't be so greedy , or so sad about the whole business.Or about the insurance . I shouldn't grumble anymore , that is my lot in life.I will try actively for change , but not grumble.

And I should mention that I have a terrific family ? No, they're not perfect.We bicker all too much.I live alone in another city.I have a dysfunctional family, but , hey , nobody's perfect.

Maybe some day , I will be able to go.it's my secret wish.But , alas, it is not to be .

And I should be acting like a responsible adult , and face life , not grumbling like an spoiled child.

Battery Compartment issues!

2008-11-11T11:18:00.000+02:00

Everyone that has CI made from Cochlear Corp. , knows that particular CI has an ridge round the battery compartment for easier removal.
But lately I had seen some drop in quality of sound.I thought I needed another mapping.

Perhaps not.

As I was chatting tonight with Greek friends on MSN , my nail had touched the particular ridge.Just touched.Suddenly CI turned off.No sound, no beeps , zilch , nada!
So I remove it and I watch for myself that tiny screen which is blank.Batteries were fresh , as of this morning.and they don't expire for a few days.Overcome with curiosity,( Yes , yes , I know , curiosity killed the cat supposedly ) I tinker with CI for awhile.Every time I put my nail, simply put it without pulling the compartment down , my CI just like that , blanked out! Opened it and tried it on..Definitely a decrease in performance there..

Hmm , so I go and find my Cochlear nifty bag , where I've put everything that is assiocated with CI, and I rummage around for the spare battery containers.I pull one and switch the batteries..and that time , however much is tinkered , my CI just stays turned on.As an added precaution , I switched the GoRex mic cover , and try it on ..

Ohhh yes , a definitive increase in performance and sound clarity.

And I wonder ...Are all of these battery compartments having these issues ? It is normal? How often other users have to switch them ? I'm five month and two weeks old , give or take a couple of days.What about mic covers?

Hmmm..there is a LOT of things that supposedly , did not know!

Or maybe I'm still thinking in HA terms...even if haven't worn my HA in the last six months.

What do YOU think? Please tell me! :D

I'm not proud anymore..

2008-11-08T23:29:00.001+02:00

I'm very frustrated with the current way that things are here in Greece.

Since CI , I wished I could move away from Greece..For the first time..I am ashamed to admit , that I am ashamed and disgusted and frustrated with the prices here.

Once upon I was proud.Proud of my country , of my heritage.Not anymore.

*rant ahead*

OK so I will vent it out!

After an conversation with CyborgQueen and seeing on other blogs what they are given , makes me feel like my portion was really measly. And it might seem childish at the very least , or ungrateful , as I'm thankful for CI .

Take for instance rechargeable Lithium - Ion batteries for CI.Most American citizens if they're implanted , receive them without much fuss.Two for each ear.They have the option to try either rechargeables or disposables. Some choose to use only the one or the other , or a mix as their schedules allow .

Well I don't.and seeing that I'm already in a strop for money as everything is expensive here , I thought to ask to the representative office that represents Cochlear ( it's another firm name here though ) for a price quoting for at least a rechargeable to use and have handy. It would sure come handy if I had it , last week had been an absolute nightmare and was rationing my CI use to see me end to end till next paycheck arrived!

Well the initial price in $$$ was brace yourselves now - $1,280 ( 1000 Euros for the European like me ) for just one measly battery , plus the charger etc!

ARE you kidding me?

I was already in a strop and instantly searched an online shop for at least seeing what the prices abroad are.Found one that quoted a price of $583 (455 Euros)for one battery again.

Much better. I was still a lot curious , so I plugged 24proxy.com and logged to the american Cochlear Store and the price was $550(430 Euros ) for TWO batteries ,and I got still more stroppy.

All these without any shipping fee of course.

That sent me over the edge.I am jealous for any one living in the States.Or UK.Or generally abroad.

Greece is the heaven of all rip offs!!!

*end of rant*

well the rant hasn't helped a lot..I'm still green for Abbie , CyborgQueen and a lot of others.I know they're been having their own challenges to face..but sometimes from my perspective , I see that they have it easy.

They're doing bilaterals, granted , after sometimes of a battle.Here to do bilaterals u have to put everything in a loan or be filthily rich.No insurance even if u switch will do your 2nd implant.
Insurances pay for everything , even if after a fight.Mine doesn't . Others here are a little better , but they pay back usually a year or two late.lots of bureaucracy.and u can't switch , unless u switch jobs.and I'm still a dependant to my father's insurance.Brilliant.
The only advantage in Greece is that AVT/SLP sessions in private sector , are relatively cheap..I'm charged by the month , 8 visit per month , every month costs me $320 ( 250 euros ) , and I read in the States they are quoting per hour almost the same money!
They are given even a back up device , for each CI.Here we don't.I constantly live with worry and fright "What if I lose it? What if it fails? " It gets old fast! When it rains I always remove it.When I'm in the bus and see someone that could be a thief I remove it.Same when bus is too full.Same when I'm running to catch the bus.

Too much pressure for me.As if I hadn't already some to start with.

and to sound such more childish, I've been secretly wishing that I had a pink mic cover! LOL!

Sometimes I dream that I've found someone , and he's been an American , so we move there..And I wake with a smile..Till I get the next frustration with CI.But I love the way I hear.I love that in Tuesday , my mother has her name celebration , and as an surprise , will call her to wish her.It would be her biggest present so far.I love that I can hear as good as my brother.I love that I'm between silence and sound.

But it's also sometimes too much stress.Too much of a financial strain.I'd love to have lots of money to dish out for rechargeables , an backup device , an FM system with Smartlink SX.But I don't.I barely have the money to switch my glasses' frames , as the thick ones I have are bothering my scar , not to mention they're too weighty now that I've added CI.

It's a long post..Sorry for anyone that has to read that missive.But right now I feel my chest lighter.Better.

I just hope everyone else is just well.

Cochlear Store US

2008-09-27T23:07:00.000+03:00

Shouldn't there be an international Cochlear e-shop for at least the more trivial things like Koala bears , toy proccessors , stickers , coils batteries , etc?

I'm feeling a bit down..Greece doesnt offer 2nd implant..doesn't offer replacement proccessors..doesn't offer much at all..and one coil per x years , the x number depends at the brand of insurance you have..And the shop that has Cochlear products ( under a different name ) sells some of the products in double price..

and for the international CI users that they'd like to browse the US store there is a solution.Just paste the link of the US store..And voila!!

I was pushed from this post to look for a way to be able to see the US store..but , you can't buy from there.At least you are able to browse.

What you'd love from there ? I'd love the toy processor ( the kid I'm looking after is always taking off my proccessor to wear it herself..LOL! and she's hearing! ) just to have some peace..and the CI stickers..and the rechargeable batteries ( in pink please for some variation! )

I'm expecting some comments..

CI concerns

2008-09-26T20:03:00.000+03:00

I'm a bit frustrated..and concerned..

First...in the computer labs..so many noises..25 computers going on..my classmates clicking their pens on/off..teacher is rumbling his papers ..mutters..cellphones ringing..with HA never bothered me...but with CI I was pretty overwhelmed!!And all these before lesson even started!!!

Then the professor started talking..his voice was loud and he always spoke loud , slow and clear! but my CI was centering into the cacophony not in the voice! And what's more..I did not even THINK to change into the BEAM map..I was too used to my mono digital HA ( had it 9 years ) so I just popped the coil off after 15 mins!!that on Wednesday! argh! must remember next time..

When I recounted that to a friend..she said...what about BEAM ? duh! I can't believe I forgot!

Second...got a bit frustrated with my audie..he's a good doctor..but I couldn't get ahold of him for an appt for a new map and I feel like I need one!! when I'm free , he's busy..when I'm busy , he's free..I can't blame him really , he tends to a lot of people..

Oh and today as I returned from AVT I climbed on the bus home , and I heard something..like a tiny cry/mewling..And I was all like what was THAT? And I was in the front of the bus , almost upfront with the driver...I tried to investigate what it was..But I did not had any localization..ugh..so out of pure curiosity ( curiosity killed the cat, I know! ) I investigated..I walked a bit farther down..and in the way back , I discovered the source..was an grumbling , but sweet baby!!A little boy..and he was pretty quiet..I'm a bit amazed..there was all the presumed noise in a bus pack full of people and of all these things I could've heard..and it wasn't like very clear, more like an kitten meowing..LOL!!

I've been busy researching some options/plans for me , plus college and AVT..

And I'm a bit sad that in Greece don't offer 2nd implant..I'd love an 2nd one..I've been mono since 11 , but I always felt a bit dissatisfied..So when a few months ago , I learnt of CI eligiblity , I had decided to implant my bad ear..they did my good after all..a decision I dont regret in the slightest , but I'd like both ears...No , I wouldn't like it..I'd LOVE it!!And no..I'm not going to do any commitee..we do have a group for CI people , but it's not really active where it should , which is a shame..I spoke with other members , and most mentioned only one meeting and not a really important..So I do consider the money I have to give into the fee..if it's not active..

I'm so insecure sometimes..but that's another post altogether...

Pictures and news

2008-09-19T21:37:00.000+03:00

Last weekend , I went to the fun fair , and I was speechless with so much assault! I could hear the screams, the music of the games , the screeching of the games when they strained , voices of the kids that were playing and talking etc..and I was speechless with the panorama of the view I was seeing...I could see even the sea when I was on the ferrywheel! Whooooo!!

Here is the ferrywheel..terrific!!

I loved it , and I climbed almost everywhere..and I wondered if there is a similar thing in London , or if I ever will visit the fun fair of Athens..

In a previous post , I had promised some pictures...of my new haircut..so...voila!!!

Here I am !! does it suits me ?

On another note , I was not very pleased with my responses in the AVT training , as I was confusing a lot of things! I got pretty frustrated and I tried to concentrate..at the start of every session, takes me at least 15 mins to start 'listening' properly..even if I wore my CI all day..if I've worn my CI just 10-15 minutes before AVT , my response varies to 5-8 minutes..it's a bit distracting though , as I want to wear it all day...

I need to train harder!! And maybe I'm due for another mapping , so , next Friday I'll go in the hospital to monitor that..

New Haircut and Blinged CI!

2008-09-07T19:51:00.000+03:00

I've been having some problems with CI , position-wise..I felt the CI too heavy , my ear tired too quickly , CI fell oftentimes..I determined it was not a magnet problem..

So I researched at the AllDeaf Forum if it was better for me to acquire the babyworn..

Most proposed to me to get an earmold , a thing that I want to avoid..I after a while determined that probably was the wisdom tooth..and decided to wait off till the tooth decides to settle down..Boy , it sure did , and it popped up a little peak next to my molar! Probably because it decided to announce its presence so close to the surgery , affected my whole side..So I was spared off a ripping! So now I quite dread the next time my wisdom acts up..but at least I know what to expect! The newness is still taking off with me..

So the problem persisted a little..so I decided ..a haircut might solve it , and anyways , I wanted a change..( my old haircut was 3 months old , but I've sported the same for a while now! ) So I cut them short , like when I was younger..after returning from the hairdressers, I put on the CI..and voila! Blessed sound and NO discomfort..so I guess..I have really thick frizzy hair , and I also wear thick rimmed glasses that don't help matters..and I had an habit to tuck my hair behind my ears..so the CI got displaced most of the time I moved..With the new haircut..no problems at all..no tiring..

And the day I got the hair done , I had a little outing with a couple of friends , and for a while when I was browsing the mall with them , got a little panic attack! I was thinking 'ohmygod ohmygod where's my hearing aid?I don't have the earmold ON!!' before I realized that I was hearing , thank you , and I did got an CI operation and everything..and I had actually FORGOTTEN that I was wearing it!! So I thought that it was the best trade off !! to have my hair cut! and quite a few people say that it suits me..most of my friends grieve the loss..I'm not bothered in the least when I remember the trade off!!

Also I want to get more blings for my CI..but I cant find any!!

Progress..or not?

2008-09-02T23:49:00.000+03:00

Haven't posted for a while..

I've had a few problems with CI..Haven't been wearing it due to my implanted side face hurting because of the stupid wisdom tooth..And today that I wore it again after a long while , I discover that my tolerance levels are lower..Grrr lost progressions..

So now I'm back at Volume setting 1 and increase it slowly over the next few days..Hoping I will be again on track before my speech therapy starts!

But I love that I *can* hear the warning when battery is dying..I feel more secure knowing it! It annoyed me to no end when I couldn't even hear it and suddenly my CI died..But I wish the warning was more than three beeps before it went out cold! with HA had at least 2-3 hours beeping which was more often before it died out , giving me a lot of time to change it..There are situations , like at college , that I can't just afford to lose a word..so with HA , I usually changed when the teacher was not talking for a few minutes..

Any feedback?

I also have an extra battery holder..I always carry batteries with me , but if I have them pre-loaded and just change battery holders?would it affect the battery life considerably?

I've been using a bit of Rayovac batteries , and they're no worse than Powerone , although I feel with Powerone I have clearer sound..or it's maybe I'm back to square one? Who knows? I will keep a six-pack back and try it again when I'm up to gear..

I also had an CI moment..I heard the neighbor's phone ringing ( yes, the neighbor's , I actually live in a flat ) and thinking it was my phone , I run to see who it was..I still can't talk to the phone yet , but it's out of habit , and wanting to discover something new..

While I was back at my parents' place , we all went for a swim at the sea ( my parents have an fishing boat that also use for getaways ) but my mother insisted that I shouldn't get water at my ear , and made me wear an yellow plastic bag on my head , that removed my peripheral vision , and made me feel downright stupid...LOL..

Thank goodness that I don't live with them anymore..I love my folks to death..but they can be overbearing and overprotective..and since my activation..always annoying me to hell with sounds!

So , when I got back , I lived for a week with my lovely big brother! I *LOVE* him , and I like a lot his current steady girlfriend , we went together shopping and stuff!
The girlfriend also introduced me to literature that I loved!! Like Betsy the Vampire Queen (I've also started the Mermaid stuff of the same writer..Hilarious! ) , or Harry Dresden the Wizard( I also downloaded the TV adaptations) and Anita Blake the Vampire Slayer..I always had a liking for the different!Right now I'm eagerly anticipating the Brisingr from Christopher Paolini! My sweet brother , intoduced me to Bone Comics which I also enjoy and find a lot humorous!! I also continue with my avid reading of Harry Potter fanfiction at 3 - 4 sites and visiting other CI blogs regularly to take some ideas of what to expect..Most of the other CI users in Greece aren't going much public , and prefer to express themselves only to family , or some forums..Right now I'm a little bit jealous of most of the CI users I know through AD forum are bilateral..wish I could do it!!

A friend asked me over MSN what are my two top wishes...and they are..

1) to go BILATERAL!!
2) to get Kindle from Amazon...LOL!!(does it make apparent how much a bookworm am I?)
3) to get FM system..

Okay , they're three!! But they are my top of the top of wishes!!

I also am aware that a few of the blogs added me , and I will add them back here..when I'm not so sleepy!! ( it's late hereeeee )

So! Goodnight for the time being!!

2008-08-26T13:26:00.000+03:00

Sometimes I still miss my old steady Hearing Aid , or HA for short..

I have been wearing HA since almost a year old , it helped me me tremendously , and although I've had changed a lot of brands , the latest I had ( Widex Senso P ) was a digitalie and it was my companion for almost ten years straight from the moment I woke to the moment I went to bed..

I miss the feeling of the earmold..I still feel strange without it..But..no more ear infections!!

But I've been hearing for almost 3 months with CI and mostly I love it..Only problem is the morning jolt that makes me really grumpy..

I've tried the strategies the audie mapped..

First slot is ADRO which I used consistently , but it's very crisp..helps me when I'm driving , or am talking with a bit of people more than two or three..but I don't like it too much although I admit it helps me in some situations..B/c my parent's house is mostly marble floors and pretty large , makes a bit of an echoy sound.So no more ADRO till I go back to my apartment!

Second slot is Auto sensitive , LOVE it.Makes the morning jolt more bearable!I've been trying it the last few days ( hadn't thought of it before , as I'm used to digital aid with only one mapping , plenty changed for me , I still adjust! ) and so far , I love it!!Softens some sounds and focuses to others..Only problem that I find is that either with ADRO or Auto , I'm still annoyed with the damn clock!It's driving me bonkers!

Third slot is Focus..It'll be useful to college or too noisy situations but I haven't had cause to use it much, not even to noisy caff's for the reason that any map I use, I can't bear music..makes me feeling soooo breathless!!!I absolutely LOATHE it.. So when i'm at any caff I usually pop the coil off , or remove the CI altogether and focus on lipreading!

Fourth and last slot is Music , but I haven't used it much as I loathe it..Maybe at my third mapping appt will be some things be fixed up..

Also , it's very humid at my parents' place..The couple of times that I neglected to Dry and Store my CI had terrible sounds and loathed how it sounded!!Also , I've been here exactly 3 weeks , and the brik is almost depleted , give it another 2 days and it'll be thrown away..I can't believe it!

I can't wait to start again speech therapy , makes me feel like I am progressing!!

Oh and if I hear anyone talking , to any length of the house I always go in to investigate..May it be the back yard were mum has her washing line , or the front balcony where she talks with neighbors,or my family between them at any room , even with the door closed,or even the neighbors chatting at their own balcony..It's amusing to always see me pop up to investigate , although I can't do word discrimination yet..LOL!!

I also heard my father cutting a watermelon ( was a soft 'fss' sound ) and I was also chatting with him..and I had an CI watermelon moment..which was spoiled pretty quickly as he started making noises on purpose which I find REALLY annoying!

So , I still adjust and find it fabulous , except music..oh and the loads of people that meet up and after a chat to inform them of my CI , they believe that I was cured..Or they start to do noises on purpose to 'test' me like they have the rights to do it..they DON'T and it's my life , my CI and my limits!!

Wedding and CI moments

2008-08-24T02:48:00.001+03:00

Today was my cousin's wedding , and she's my favourite , always stood by me and we have a pretty good relationship! Her husband is very nice too and I like him a lot,he's the best my cousin would have!

The wedding ceremony was very romantic, and I had a couple CI moments..Once , while I admired the bride , someone sneezed and automatically thinking that was someone near me I automatically said the equivalent of 'Bless you' in Greek..Then after getting no reply I investigated , and she was three rows behind!!With my old aid I'd never had heard that..I also had my camera to shoot some pics and I always heard the shutter..I was amazed , especially after I realized I heard the shutter of the professional man's too!!

At the wedding reception I had a smashing time , was dancing the night away ( at some point I even removed my high heels LOL ) and talked to distant relatives and friends of family..a lot of people..The food was terrible though!!And it's the same at every wedding I've been!!
At first we danced Greek dances and such as I loved to dance generally , got straight away , but when we did modern numbers , even my brother got up for a couple dances! And sometime I was standing near an uncle and was trying to talk to him when the groom put his fingers in his mouth and whistled shrilly , and I had heard that!!

I was so amazed that I immediately told some relatives that knew what was my CI and they were impressed! Although a lot of them thought that the magnet was some sort of hairpin or hairdo to keep my hair off my face , it wasn't the main use of it..although it did help with it!!

Sadly , tomorrow or the day after tomorrow I'm going back to the real world..College duties , new mappings , AVT/speech training/therapy, and of course..paying the bills! *aighhh*

Speech reading and Sounds!

2008-08-21T13:26:00.000+03:00

It's been almost three months since my operation , and subsequent activation ( was activated early , four days post op ). And I can't believe it..

With my trusty Widex SensoP I was able to speak on the telephone with my mother and some relatives,few friends. But as speech reading aided me my whole life , and I also was really pleased with my progress..That was , until my hearing started failing...

At activation , I remember 'feeling' the sounds through my stomach..I was feeling like my every nerve was on fire..My heart was on fire! Thumping and thumping!!

I also remember that I tired after fifteen minutes , and my mother always 'testing' me with little sounds , annoying the hell out of me..LOL!

I have to note that I prided myself that I never suffered with tinnitus..I had of course read up that CI helps to cure tinnitus , and the only problem I had was 'overstimulation' especially after a tiring day , or in the bus..where I usually would turn it off or else I'd develope a good headache...

This period had its ups and downs..

Things that I never heard of , and now I hear are :

- plastic bottle compressing/crushing ( my mother does that so it will have less space at the garbage bin ) that now , annoys the hell out of me , I literally can't stand it!!

- my laptop fan..couldn't hear it...or it was much quieter..now I feel like it is filling the room..I will soon learn to tune it out!!

- the clock ticking..at first I was so amazed..then I got annoyed and I removed the battery ( my mother is going to have a conniption when she notices it..LOL!! she hasn't yet! )

There sure are other sounds that I forget to transcript...

Side effects from the operation is the tinnitus..They've told me that it will eventually go away , but , when?!? I can't even have a lie - in.. as soon as I am half awake , my ear starts 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' and I can't go back to sleep!!another is when I hear a new noise and when it's particular loud , the left side of my tongue goes momentarily numb ( that also happens when I happen to stick my finger and move around to dislodge the wax ). I hope these discomforts will go away after some time , and most people assure me of it..

Oh and yesterday a friend asked me ( noticed that I didn't have the CI on ) if I have any regrets! I said no regrets , just saving my batteries ( will say why soon ) , and we were sitting at a cafeteria with loud music ( music makes me feel breathless in the bad way , so if I'm sitting somewhere I turn it off , I will post it sometime ).

The hardest thing by far , is to wean myself off speech reading when I'm wearing it, and seeing as it's become a habit my entire life , it's pretty hard!!

Oh and there is another 'side-effect' that I think that is really positive!! Before CI , I tended to speak really loud and sometimes fast and everyone told me always to tone it down! Now I'm speaking slower and in lower volume and also I have better speech , but it's hard on my friends that aren't used to it and sometimes they complain as they are seeing me usually outside at caffeterias with all the noise..Better yet , I always keep that even when I've removed the CI for any length of time , and that makes me HAPPY!!

The only strains so far is to wean myself off speech reading when I've got the CI on, and to get better at speech reading when I don't have it on , I was so used to the sound of the voice with speech reading that now it's a real challenge to dissassiocate it, I find sometimes I can't even speech read !! LOL!!

Sound of Cochlear Implant

2008-08-19T13:22:00.000+03:00

The title of the blog is a bit strange , isn't it ? :)

My favorite movie was Sound of Music , with the Von Trapp Family..All this sunny and musicy and singing always got into my heart , and their unique way of teaching something so pure , got into me..

So when I debated what would be the title , there was no dispute!! Sound of Music..Sound of Cochlear Implant..sounds kinda catchy , doesn't it?

Since activation day , I've been discovering that life has a new meaning with loads of sounds!

So I think that the title fits..Don't you ? I feel like an child explorer , always amazed , sometimes laughing , sometimes surprised, and sometimes too annoyed...

I wish that miracle will always be like new to me , that I always will feel like I have the biggest Christmas present at my lap!

A little background..

2008-08-18T16:31:00.000+03:00

Since most , if not all , fellow CI users I happen to know are abroad , I decided to start this blog in English to share all my adventures with my almost three month old CI.( God, I sound like I have a baby...LOL )

I was born almost deaf , in Greece , and from the start my mother noticed that I didn't seem to be hearing anything..Everyone in my family thought that my mother was just overprotective and overreacting..And all the doctors said it probably was fluid in my ears..All these back at 1983 , although in Greece there was not even a chapter for the Deaf anywhere in the country!
So , my parents ( although my mother always had her suspicions ) were rudely awakened when our local ENT doctor said that even if I was an 8month baby at the time , I wasn't responding , and even the babbling I had started seemed to decrease ..

From my mother's descriptions , I was an happy baby ,all the time smiling and always curious..And always wanting to follow my older brother..I wasn't hearing , but I was clever and quick to get the lead from my brother..

After an consultation , my parents arranged an trip in NY,USA , to do all the exams that they thought...My parents wanted the best for me , and they decided to combine it with their first experience of an abroad trip!

They had a good time , and since they did not knew English ( still don't , only a few words here and there , although both my brother and I are exceptional English speakers ) had a few relatives help them , and the hospital had an doctor who happened to be Greek , although his field wasn't at the Audiology or ENT department..

After a lot of exams ,the result was that I had moderate to severe loss and my parents , fitted me with Unitron bodyworn aids ,and new earmolds..My mother tried to have an book and translating it , to do AVT to me when we returned to Greece.

Back at Greece , especially at my hometown , there was no speech therapist/pathologist or AVT teacher..so my mother did the job herself..After a few months a speech therapist moved to my hometown and since then she'd been helping me..I got very early on the lip reading tool under my belt , everyone said that I did it on my own..I never had thought the term lip reading or speech reading..This said , Greek is pretty easy to lipread..

I changed a lot of my aids , and my hearing loss was getting worse..soon my right ear was on the profound scale as soon as I got 10 or 11 , and since then I was deaf in one ear , and wearing HA at the left ear. Since then I was mainstreamed to school , never learnt Greek Sign Language , and always having private tutors at home along with my speech therapist. Went through preschool , elementary ( halfway of elementary school my left ear got to the severe range ) , junior high and high school..while I was at the high school , I acquired an Widex Senso P38 with wider tubes through the earmold , which helped me tremendously..

I had this aid almost 8 years , and in college , when my hearing started declining again! At first , ( almost two and a half years ago ) I just couldn't hear every word , and speech reading became so much harder..but it had some perks for my friends, because , as they say , they learned to rephrase everything with a lot simpler or different words and made them work on their vocabulary..Also I felt like I was losing some part of my identity..Since junior high I had mastered speaking to the phone with few close relatives ( especially my mum and a couple of aunties, and few close friends ) and suddenly I discovered that I wasn't able anymore to understand parts of the conversation , frustrating everyone in both ends..

My mother , always the technophobic , had to learn to use the PC also for her office and also for me and her to chat through MSN..she's learned the last one relentlessly as we needed that to communicate , since I had moved away after my graduation from high school..Think an over 400 km distance!

So with all these happening , every one in my life tried to adapt , and I was getting more and more depressed, not to mention to turn everyone's nerves haywire by the incessant feedbacks..This year alone , I had more earmold fittings than I ever had..but after a month each single earmold was rendered useless.

After learning about CI's , through an recently implanted friend , I became obsessed almost in research..I started all the tests and everything , and after a long wait ( in Greece , you wait forever for anything...) I got the approval from the hospital!! I submitted my papers for the insurance company , a day after my birthday..I got approved from the insurance a few weeks before Easter hols , and since then I settled the surgery date..

May 22nd , the day that changed my life! Although I still miss my trusty HA , it was time to part our ways!