Sunday, May 22, 2011

3 years post surgery...

In honor of my surgery anniversary ( already 3rd one?? Time sure FLIES ) I'm reposting below an excerpt of my Surgery diary that corresponds to the day of surgery...
Thursday 22th May 2008

Nurse's aide wakes me up at seven , and she gives me a calming pill.Which never WORKED.I was SO nervous.I started again walking all the ward , and when I get kicked out , the hallway.Does that make you remember something ? :P I get some last pre op stuff done , and around 8 or so , my parents come in..A nurse brings in the surgery clothes..uuuuh , how do you wear these?
I start joking that with these I'm all ready for psych ward , and everyone laughs!

I got in OR around 8:45.I feel something pinching my left hand..Ouch!The team's trying to put the cardio monitor stuff , but I get shy and hide my chest.Well they conked me out a bit earlier.

Deep breaths...count to , two , three , five ( I remember skipping 4 and everyone laughs ) I start getting dizzy , I say six...I see this huge mask...and..I don't remember anything else!!

I saw SO weird dreams , I still remember them.Suddenly , I feel hands on me ..Wasn't I in cloud nine ? someone pushing me , slapping me gently...I want to sleep some more mum, I wanna say..but I notice , my mouth can't move much..I try to open one eye..I see something green ( I can't see without glasses much! ) then , my brain feeds me with memories..Jolt awake! The op , the running off , EVERYTHING.I think..I DID it.I pick up my free hand..and I pat myself , yup , bandage here.I start grinning.The doctors wanted me to frown , smile , do some expressions , to see if my side was ok , and , I was grinning.LOL.I did it!

I got disconnected from all the paraphernalia , and get wheeled in my room.While I try to crawl in my hospital bed , I think..whoa , I'm in a HIGH.No wonder druggies are ADDICTED!LOL.I couldn't make a coherent word.Nurse says that I'm not allowed to sleep for two hours , and that I should keep the oxygen mask on my face.They connect me with some saline , and I HATE that.I want my hands free , but I can't protest at all , seeing that I'm completely out of it!

Mum , in an attempt to keep me awake , gives me my cell phone , to start texting..I give it back , saying I can't..since I hadn't paid it.she gives it back , and gives her phone too.LOL! ( afterwards she complained of a high bill! ROFL ) I send the first text , but it was completely blank.Wow.I'm too out of it.she texts back with a question mark.I manage to stumble a response.I'm out.I'm ok.I'm drugged up.She replies back with a LOL, and goes to alert some common friends via net.I managed to text everyone , LOL, and by then , I was allowed to sleep!

Dad left straight back for his work , and mom stayed with me at the hospital , to look after me.I got in a 2 hour nap , and then nurse wakes me up in the attempt , to put some IV medicines.She also brings me some hot tea to drink.I DETEST tea.I drink some though.I couldn't feel the taste.My tongue is completely NUMB.

I even had some visitors the same day.I was feeling better by afternoon , but I didn't dare get up, I was feeling VERY weak ,very dizzy.
Kept napping and waking up and texting...and feeling nauseus!!

Today , I wanted to do something special..

I ended up going to the Salonica Pier where there is always something happening along the length of it , and walked it twice over , and while walking I was hearing other people talking , kids yelling while playing...
*thwack**thwack* Oooh , here's the tennis court!! I should sign up for lessons...
*aaaaaah* I look up...Airplane coming in to land in airport...Cool , I've never heard an airplane! *music* accordion street players!!

Later , I went to eat Savvikos , a restaurant that is open since 1947 , passed from generation to generation , to celebrate..I do my order , and the waiter is a FAST talker , I can't lipread him at all..But I HEARD him and I gave my order and I could communicate...Nice!

As I was paying..another waiter that decided to carry more than he could slipped...and glasses , bottles fell from his hands..*smack**crack**tinkling of glasses being walked on* everyone was annoyed with him ...except me..I could appreciate the sound...all it takes is appreciation...

So , three years later..I've developed an appreciation for music , for sounds , and for voices..( my favorite thing is listening to my nephew 'talking' to me..)
I've gotten friends with CI all over Greece and the globe.
I've travelled.
I've gotten to host friends and tour other friends.
I'm expecting more friends to come over..
I've gotten more confident in myself.
I've realized more things about me..
I've accepted some things too..
I've become a DV moderator
I've gotten some amazing friendships that I think might last :)
I'm happier
I'm so appreciative of everything

I still slip and fall
I still have lousy balance
I still forget things
I still sometimes do slip ups and blunders
I still am a doorknob
I still need some accomodations
I still am the same person I was before , I just changed in some ways.
I still want to know more's to a 4th year full of listening , full of more laughter , full of fun and also , full of knowing myself more , and opening myself to more travelling and more options to me..*raises ice cream bowl*

Friday, May 20, 2011

Knocking on doors.

After reading this post , I understood one more thing about me , that leads back from HA days.

I'm known to blunder into rooms , seeing not the best situations , and even with CI , I can't decipher sometimes the come in/wait a minute as in Greek they are roughly the same syllables and it's a hard to decipher sometimes , as I already said.

My most recent and most embarassing situation was ....nope , not going to tell you :) who do you think I am???

But , on the other side..sometimes , when you're deaf/HOH , you have to cut yourself some slack and recognise that sometimes you ARE going to be embarassed/embarass other people , or both.Happens to everyone, hearing or not.

I try to be respectful , but it's a hard balance , especially with friends that say I act like a hearing person ( I can hear a lot better , and I'm quite a good lipreader. ) so they almost always forget to come and open the doors for me , so , if I decide to not open , I will usually walk away after 5 minutes or so , thinking nobody is in the office/room/apartment/ house/ whatever.

We recently had a talk about that with my brother , as I managed to walk in on him in the BR , thinking it was empty ( in my defense , I was still NOT awake , and the only thought in my asleep brain was to relieve my bladder, plus I'm used in living alone and NEVER have bathroom holdups ) and he did realize that yelling he is in when the handle got turned wouldn't get my attention , as I was totally deaf.He did say that I should check the keyhole if there's light out of it , but that's impossible if the key is in , which it was.We actually had an argument of sorts about it , trying to find a solution.

One solution we had when I was a kid , was a sticker at the ON position for the bathroom.That indicated that bathroom was occupied.Another was locking the bathroom door , but if you're in the stage of almost peeing your pants , you don't have time to do that, plus , what if the key was lost ? Kind of defeats the purpose.A third , was usually , to check if everyone was present in whatever room we were usually ( living or kitchen room ), and then go.

Another incident was in the office of an acquaintance's.I was walking home , after a dentist appt , and thought to drop in and say hello, as I hadn't seen that certain person for quite a time, preparing myself to the fact if he was busy , I'd leave.The person WAS quite busy *ahem* , and to boot it , they forgot the door a couple inches open , so I got in the foyer , "Hello ____ , are you here?" and for response I heard what I thought was , Come in...*ahem*

What do you do in these instances? You just beat a hasty retreat.VERY hasty , and pray they did not see/hear you.

What if you've been ordered to see the principal?

My own principal always forgot I was deaf ,and he'd shout my surname , in a NOISY hallway , to get me in ( I wasn't in trouble THAT often , don't worry ) , and he always had to realize he had to tell someone else to get my attention it was my turn.

Or EVEN when you're on a break in a bus trip and you don't hear the announcement to get back on the bus?
There are many possibilities to get embarassed/stranded/felt awkward , and sometimes , being deaf isn't just that we can't hear or hear properly.It means planning ahead , thinking of any possible hazards , and above all , have a sense of humor.

Sarcasm on ourselves , helps quite a bit :)