Saturday, January 7, 2012

About time to update something that is called my blog...

Oh my god , I haven't blogged for four months.

 But you all know I had a very good excuse ( THIS time. dunno about next time )

 From my last post , you probably know I'm undergoing chemo..To say it was smooth sailing , it would be a lie though.

Always something crops up.Some problem will rear up.But I've managed to do my best with what I was given with.
Plus , I'm blessed with some friends that I'll never forget.I even received some fabulous Christmas cards that I loved! Oh , and cookies!!The box will be a keepsake...I'll pull it out again next Christmas.

 So , you wonder..what's I'm writing in the blog for? Ok , let's get the most exciting thing out of the way first!

  This coming Tuesday , 10 January , will my my LAST Chemo treatment!

 Can I get a cheer for that? I've made it! I thought I couldn't make it , and I had lost heart halfway through the treatment.It's not all cake and roses you know.

 At the last treatment with the first medicine , I had quite a bit of throwing up that left me with a serious nerve headache that nothing could get it off.And I had a messed up arm from a blunder nurse  ( blood draw ) that managed to go through my vein and get a nerve.I couldn't straighten my right arm or reach high bc of that , and always kept it bent.I still favor it btw.It wouldn't have been a big deal as I'm a leftie , but it hurt.And my left arm hurt in the SNB scar area in my armpit.

 Painkillers and exercise helped a lot , but I was grouchy for a time about that.And I started to get scared of any vein needles , and am very nervous about them still.I think I always will be nervous and never will blow off a blood draw like it's no big deal..because I learned it IS if it's not done right.

 The second chemo medicine , was a bit more brutal at start..I wasn't throwing up , but I had some serious bone pain.
Really.I ended up taking some heavy painkillers that also messed with my stomach.After that , it was just being tired.Thank god for that.

 But by then ,  I learned that nothing is smooth sailing.Red cells were lower , they just decided to accompany , now I'm on a weekly injection regime to see if they'll come back up.

I would never have made it though , without the support and love of my friends and family.Really.Even my nephew , unwittingly helped , as he seems as devoted to me as I am to him.When I hear Vivie from  him , I always smile and get excited.He loves anything I'll get him , and he was all over his Christmas present , or so I hear.We also went to the carousel together , and made memories.I have some pics , but not going to post , you understand.Just imagine me though , with little guy on my lap.

 Now on to Christmas , it was a really low key no-present holiday , but that's okay , as long as I don't get any more pajamas! I have quite a few pairs of them , and I'm kinda sick of them now! I used to not wait to get home , change into pj's and relax..ummm that can change! Changed into 2012 with family! Really nice , a nice meal , a LOT of desserts ( birthday cake for my cousin , vasilopita , saraiglakia just to name a few ) and just chatty family.I did get some holiday cash in , that can be either spent on a new alarm clock for the deaf , save up for a trip I want to make , or save up for an iPad that I've been coveting...hmmm decisions , decisions!

 On to hearing news - since I was into bed much of the time , I got into the (bad) habit of not wearing my ear again.I really don't like it , but I have to cope somehow.I am trying to get into wearing it again and upping the time from there , but it's hard bc my energy is fluctuating like crazy.One minute I'll be bright and alert and suddenly , I'll crash and burn.I've stuck to mostly movies , FB and some rare outings with family or on my own , keeping it low key.Fortunately , most of my family and friends are VERY understanding and they say all that I have to finish chemo and then have a stab again.I'm thinking of e-mailing my audiologist and come clean , and ask to start over.I did manage to wear it for a couple hours today.It's a start.

 I don't admit it on Facebook because I'm ashamed , but some people privately know about it , and are very supporting.I'm hoping everyone will not gossip my decision , because it was my own  decision and it's my own life.I do not take kindly to orders, and if you do , you'll experience my rather bitchy temper..

 After my last treatment , I will be considered PFC (= Post Final Chemo ) and will move on to my next stage of treatment.Hormonal treatment.I'm not looking forward to that , not much , but at least that means I'm moving to the right direction.I'll do hormonal treatment for 5 years , be monitored  , and after that I'll be declared officially cancer free.

 My immediate plans after I recover is to go on a trip to recover from the shit year I had.I thought I had kicked it off nice , last year..but , no , I didn't.So , my plans are to go somewhere in possible destinations are England ( for the 3rd time ) , or somewhere Northern Europe.Maybe Austria , or Iceland? Finland? We'll see.

 My dream destination would be either the US or NZ but the tickets are too expensive.And I've never been in a long-haul flight.And flight changes make me a little , maybe if I win the lottery , I'll go bilateral , I'll pay off my condo loan , I'll travel , I' get the drift.Oh , and get a proper DSLR.Yeah , the things you can get IF you had the money.

Oh well. Time to wrap up this missive.

 See you in the next few months , I guess? or whenever I get off to blog again.