Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Which part of not hearing , they don't get?

WARNING : a mini rant ahead.Yes.so , if you are officially disgusted from rants , please go elsewhere.Duly noted.

You still here?

Gosh..well , let me start...( and tell me if I get out of hand , please )

So , last night I was enjoying my chatting online ( as much as I could , that is , as I was feeling a bit miserable from something else ) and generally having a blast in chatting and surfing..When a chat popped up in Greek :

" (name removed ) : Hey , how are you? "
" Me : I'm good , but been better.What about you ? "
"(name removed ) : I'm good , just tired from yada yada yada.Hey , check out this song! "
" Me : I'll save it to listen to it later , probably tomorrow."
" (name removed) : Why? this song is pretty awesome! "
( me in the background , trying to not gnash my teeth )
" Me : well , my ear's off , as I'm not feeling too well , plus I always remove it by 11 pm ( it was closer to 1 am then ) and stick it in the dehumidifier.So , I'll get you back on that."
" ( name removed ) : But I thought you were hearing now.What's the point of having the op if you do not hear"
( what ? I DO hear , I just did not want to hear THAT particular moment , plus , CI isn't THAT sort of a miracle that will let you hear at all times.I'm still deaf )
" Me : ( insert a long winded explanation about the limits of CI , but explaining it still is a miracle and I have choices when to wear it and when not.Insert example of next doors construction which has been driving everyone batty but me , as I can plop my ear off , yada yada.Plus still deaf as a wall.I just hear a heckuva better than pre-CI.)"
" (name removed) : but just hear the song.it's awesome"
" Me : (irked) which part of my explanation did not get?(choice word here , as I'm losing my patience ). "
" (name removed) : uhhhh , why are you pissed off with me?Did I do anything. "
( me just goes offline at that particular person.Gotta love the appear offline at THAT person in MSN Messenger )

At that point I ranted to a CI friend , who calmed me down , but I still am annoyed with (name removed).
Maybe if I pretended to my friends that CI doesn't work , they would leave me alone.Yeah.Problem's that I'm too honest.And that I always celebrate every little sound.And I want EVERYONE to know it.
When will I get over my ire?Who knows?Which might be , ten minutes later , a day later , or a week later , or never.We'll see.

You see , I can forgive pretty much a lot of things , but being thick , isn't one in my list.Sorry.

rant over.

And since I'm talking about loving to hear.What I'm loving this time , is just talking with my nephew.I'll talk to him , and he'll babble back to me.When he does that , I just want to eat him up.

And , I just know he'll accept me , deaf or no deaf , as I'm his auntie and he knows , even now , in his baby-ness , that I love him entirely to bits.

Good morning to you!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Rain rain rain

Haven't written lately...

I've been a bit frustrated with my CI lately..

But since I changed in the higher , louder map ( the one that I avoided for a bit , since it was giving me headaches after 2 days ) I've been able to listen more!

Today , I really LOVED listening to the rain!
I also am able to hear the buzzers even if the buildings I'm out of , are in BUSY roads.That has me dancing in glee!
Yesterday , I had two very nice phone chats , one with my aunt , and one with my mom! I could understand a LOT more..it was just a matter of letting my brain get used to the higher map , and after a couple of weeks I'm doing really well!

I've been busy , since I'm organizing a trip next week , and also another one , hopefully in February.

I'm off to hear my favourite song , and hear the patter patter of rain!

Monday, October 25, 2010

News , finally :)

Haven't posted since start of the month...well , I got snowed under with work, even if I don't have a proper job yet.

Still have speech 2x a week , it's been slow but sure work, I'm really seeing a difference lately , and I might stop it later this year. I don't mind going to speech therapy , it's something I always had to go to , I view it as a staple of my obligations, but it sure is a money eater! I've started watching parts of greek shows , and to repeat what I catch there..It's hard work , but I've kind of outgrown the Rosetta - it's EASY for me now ( two years ago , it was the bane of my existence , it was SO frustrating! what a difference two years make! )

I also had to go and spend a weekend with my family , helping them with notary/elections stuff.Sunday was really long too , I had to write a LOT , and it's been tiring.
I also am going to college - last semester I tried reading from home and doing online material.Didn't work out much , so I'm going as normal again.I've noticed a big difference though in my hearing.In the labs , I used to hear all 25 pc fans whirring away and it drove me completely CRAZY.This semester , I don't even notice it, they also installed silentier fans , but I do hear them , it's just when I concentrate to the professors talking or to my own work that they fade out completely.And I also can understand the professors a lot better ( still relying on lipreading ) but I can get more than before.And it's not as tiring as it was with my HA.I guess I'm just a slow achiever, and I had kind of been disappointed in the CI at first , but two friends said to me " Give it time , you're only two years post op " and " Every person progresses differently " and they were right! :)

Braces are going great :) My teeth have straightened a lot now , still going to appointments every month, last month I got the lower braces tightened a lot , and it was really annoying for the first week , I had been surviving on whatever soft I could eat.

Also , a greek channel decided to caption one of its GREEK shows.It was a surprise for me , as I didn't expect that :) it's a weekly show , and I'm on episode 3.LOVE it , even if it's on the sad side.I love stories.Histories.Everything.It's based on Hislop's book "The Island" which is sold on amazon :)

Sorry for not blogging that much , but I've been busy - I also have been made DeafVillage moderator , which keeps me busy , plus I prefer Facebook and chatting to catching up with my friends rather than blog , but I really don't want to neglect it either :)

Did I mention that I love my alerting system? It's been totally worth it's money.

till next post.

ps , I installed Disqus for comments under , I was fooling around.Do tell me if you like it or not :)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Coping at college with CI

Ooookayyy..another post :)

I've been busy since August , to be honest..and every time I'd get a blog started , I'd get sidetracked.

Hmmm , this seems to be a popular excuse in the CI/deaf blogger community lately! :P

I've been trying to restart college duties ( lessons started this week ) and to remember everything I've forgotten.

But I've been seeing progress.
Pre-CI , I used to have this professor in some lessons , and he'd had a stroke from an accident I think , and the result is that one side of his face is paralyzed , or at least not functioning like it used to.

Problem is, these sort of people aren't lipreadable.At ALL.I remember I used to struggle.I remember I'd curse my bad luck - he's a good teacher really , it's just that I needed clarity.Ugh.

Well , this semester I got alloted in one of his lab classes ( every Friday ) and I had the first class this Fri.

I was in for a surprise.

First , since it was the first day , he had to get roll.I used to keep close attention on roll , trying to not miss my cue , but I usually failed.I'd have to stay behind and ask for him to mark me.

Well , not this time.I was distracted , typing away on the lab computer.I hear my surname , and my hand goes up automatically.Then I realized , WTF ? Did I just do THAT like a hearing person?

Wow.I smirk to myself, feeling like I was in cloud nine.

Lesson starts ( and no , I don't have any FM ) and he starts talking , giving out his email , laying out lesson guidelines.I used to get nil with him, and I'd go by the whiteboard cues to try and orient myself, or take cues from anyone that was beside me.
Another surprise.

I could get 50% of what he said , as long as I had even a sideways view of his face.IF he walked around , I'd be totally lost.

Is there a cloud higher than nine , people ? I'd like to know.Because it was where I was! It still was hard.I still struggled.

But it was easier than pre-CI.A.helluva.lot.easier.

I still got out with the usual headache and a paper that is due next Fri.But I was feeling better than usually am feeling.and not as lost.

Cue in today.I had another lab class today.

It was a total disaster.Three professors , the two mumblers , the one that wasn't was talking all the time on his cell phone.And I didn't advocate for myself.Not good.

But the tail end of the lesson was completely hilarious.

I was trying to get started on the paper that's due for the 18th , when professor's phone started ringing, bothering me.At the same time , my iTouch dinged , alerting me on something off FB.Professor asked me to turn off my cell phone.I told him it's not a cell phone ( my real phone was on vibrate anyway ) and that his phone was AGAIN ringing.He did not believe me.(He had it in his briefcase , and the ringing was muted in the classroom noise , but my CI picked it up )

I insisted he goes and check it.He did.It was indeed his phone.He eyed me , a bit suspiciously.As he answers it , his eyes go wide , and he realizes I'm the one that I walked out on him almost two and a half years ago , when I was suddenly alerted for surgery on my ear.
I think he realized that I hear a lot better.Ha!

Alerting Systems

For a long time , I've been researching alerting systems to install in my flat.

I might have the CI , but essentially , I'm deaf . I do hear enviromental noises , and speech ( and my speech discrimination is going up slowly but surely.
Also don't forget..when I'm sleeping , or in the shower , or even just taking a break from hearing..what happens ?

At first I thought I'd get the cheaper option - a Geemarc alerter device with a remote doorbell.It was only 100€ in Greece.
I was told that the remote doorbell might be stolen , and anyway , I couldn't drill anything outside my door.There was still also the downstairs door buzzer to consider.So that was discarded.

Back to square one.

It was only this or the Bellman Visit 868 system in Greece.
The latter works a different way.The Door transmitter is hooked up beside the actual doorbell , programmed and it 'remembers' the sound of the doorbell to transmit an alert to the Bellman 868 receivers ( it also can be expanded with a baby monitor, fire alarm , telephone monitor , etc ) and has a host of receivers to get what suits you better.A friend loaned me the grey small pager to try out , and I got the Door Transmitter , hooked it up and I tried out the whole system.It works beautifully, dispelling all my doubts that I had initially , since it was completely wireless.It works like a charm ( had it for two weeks now , works better than I even thought! )

A thing that Bellman should make is a plug option for the travelling people ( in the age we live , where everyone travels , it's a must ! ) and also something that would be installable in the bathroom without needing any plugs. ( I , for one , do not have ANY plugs in the bathroom , or , at least any that are working , LOL ) And it would work with a battery ( with the ability to be switched on when you get to the bathroom to save up battery juice ! ) but maybe I'm dreaming.Who knows.

I'm researching my next options to be honest.I'd love to have money to fully outfit my condo , but I had only enough money for one door transmitter , and I'm planning to get another for the buzzer , sometime soon.Then next, who knows , it'll be based on what I'll learn.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sea urchins,snorkeling and ear!


This summer is progressing quite well for me, and I'm currently at my parents , having completed another yr of speech therapy. *smile*

I loved every min of summer so far , doing late night chats with my online buddies , catching up with some long lost friends ( thank you FB! ) and in general enjoying all that summer has to offer.

On August 1st , we celebrated my father's birthday , it was just a simple meal on our boat , wishing him happy birthday , and doing a lot of swimming.I even snorkeled with my dad to get sea urchins for him and mom to eat their gonads , which are a delicacy here.We also got mussels , and few other sea things that I don't know the name of! Also , we learned that it's kinda uncomfortable to step on them..

I also found that a frustration I had last year with snorkeling has been somewhat eradicated.I couldn't wear my mask last year bc the back portion was directly over the implant , and it allowed my mask to leak water , leaving me very frustrated.This year , it was almost non existent , probably my implant has settled a little more in my skull , or I got more muscle over it , who knows? There is still some minimal leaking , but it's not THAT annoying.I got a new annoying thing though..The lower portion of mask that covers the nose , is a bit tight there to not leak water in my nose , but , with the braces , leaves my lip a bit numb! it's not a big problem , but I did manage to get myself drenched when I attempted to drink water immediately after removing it! LOL.Well , the wet people fear no additional drenching! I also decided to get an Ear Band-It if I can to see if I can resolve even that minimal leaking!

While snorkeling , I did see some woods and I deduced they were probably from something getting sunk there.Stones and stuff were partly obscuring them.I also saw some fishes , and I dove to scare them away , LOL.

In the afternoon I went to visit two of my aunties up at nana's house , which now is summer house for mom's siblings , and we had fun visiting , and later , I walked to another house , to see my primary school aide ( she was tutoring me after school ) that I had till 4th grade ( she was vacationing there with her two kids ) and , my , how time flies.It was a bit emotional to catch up with her , but , I was deaf as my battery had died , and I tried to change it ...and I let it fall! Oops , old clumsy me! It wasn't switching on after a fresh battery , so , I was like , hmm I probably forgot to charge it.Out comes a battery holder and disposables ( I always have a six pack for emegenercies , I'm kinda forgetful sometimes ) .Nada.I start panicking.

I had to send it Monday to the office for repairs.Ick.I was deaf until yesterday , and , my , it was a hard time for me.I couldn't hear , I couldn't hear music , and communication was quite the struggle.A lot of misunderstandings , and when it got dark , I couldn't lipread much.It got really lonely quickly , but my CI friends in FB rallied and tried to lift my spirits , and everyone was really happy when I announced I got my ear back on yesterday.Now I've double taped it on my ear , and I'm not going to change batteries again when I'm on the go.I'll try to sit down and be careful , as I don't want to go through THAT again.

I did make some observations though.While deaf , I lost all control of volume of my voice, I was speaking quite worse , and I was having some words muddled.Mom's patience was REALLY tested since Sunday! Not to mention I missed listening to music.Haha.

The problem was that the contacts in the controller , that are for getting power from battery , were dislodged, and they fixed that.Thank god it wasn't something more serious , as I do not have a back up ear.Plus , four days without hearing were a bit much for me!

I also decided that using long coil for when I'm out and about will solve some problems , like the likelihood of falling off me , esp when I'm on boat , ick.I do have one of Kyley's long coil pouches but mom decided to wash it , and , um , washing machine decided it was a tasty morsel and ate it.LOL.But before that , a week ago , we went calamari fishing , and I was wearing my ear with long coil , and it was just...nice , to not worry about my ear , and worry abt my balance ( it was really rocky that day , we kept swinging constantly. ) and abt getting inked from calamari.

I should add that babyworn option doesn't work too well on the boat , for two reasons.One , I know that Freedom's somewhat water resistant , but I do not want to take ANY risks.My head gets sprayed unless I stay in the cabin , where it's hot and stuffy.Second , I don't have anywhere to pin the battery portion so that the wire won't bother me , as I usually I am only with swimsuit on there.I do use all three options where I see fit , and it's just nice to be able to have that flexibility.

I do want to file a bit of a complaint though.What was Cochlear THINKING when it designed Freedom? it's been quite a host of problems for me.My most recent complaint was with the battery prongs breaking off easily.UGH.Also , I tried to get a solar charger for my things so I'll be able to charge them on boat ( ipod , phone , etc ) and , the one I wanted , had only an USB option , and I thought , no problem , it fits all of my needs...except..yup , Freedom batteries.UGH!The N5 charger does charge from USB however , so when I get upgraded it'll be one less hassle!

I also am going to purchase a new battery , with the hope that it'll be my last Freedom one and when I need new ones , I'll have to get N5 ones! A girl , can dream though..I can't upgrade till I'm 5 years post surgery , and every 5 years since then!Another 3 years...*mutters*

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Diary of Surgery

Hmmm..Better late than never ? Consider yourself warned from the title!!

I've had my surgery , 2 years ago..and , today , as I was tidying up , I found the surgery diary I was keeping the first few days..which also is up at my Greek blog.

I've had some friends that are getting surgery or gotten it and are awaiting activation ( a mixture of Greek and abroad friends ) and since we've been talking a LOT abt pre-op , and post op, I decided to translate - with edits here and there , my Greek surgery post diary , for the people here that might want to see the differences, and know my history! ( it's heavily edited though , to protect some people , sorry )

1) Here , we do at least some days' stay , post op.When I heard that some of my friends abroad left the same night , I was SPEECHLESS.Wow.

2) Post op care varies from surgeon to surgeon.Mine forbade me ALL summer of any water activity.

3) Names , and other stuff that is a bit more private for me has been edited out.

Tuesday , May 20th 2008

College...in lecture..I had been trying to set a op date , but my parents' interfering had me , pull my hair out, and I had given up..So , instead of thinking abt the op , I decide to set my mind to the lesson ( almost completely deaf though , there wasn't much hope of it.My HA wasn't helping me much. ).I notice the professor giving me the evil eye.What did I do now?I notice also some violent vibrating.UGH.Mom?Doesn't she know that I'm in a lecture?I press reject button.She'll get the message.Professor gives me the evil eye.I know I've been blacklisted.*sigh*

Life doesn't go well for me lately, I think.I try to do the coding exercise ( Java treeing , amazing how I STILL remember that , even 2 yrs post op! ) when my cell phone starts up again.I reject.Doesn't she knows that I CANT pick it up , since I can't hear?!?!?! I sent a silent prayer that she'll send a text message.Then I recall its spring.Uh-oh.Something's up with my family??What?

Ding.Text message " Audie just called.Your op is day after tomorrow.you have to be at hospital before 2 pm TODAY."I gape at the phone.WTF! I look at lab pc's clock.12 pm.And my home is 2 hrs distance via bus.GREAT.I'm starting to hyperventilate.I get up and collect everything pell mell into my bag, and professor comes up.Thankfully , I had warned him abt the op some days back, so he just nods and reminds me to bring a notice from doctor.

At the bus homeward where I have to pick up my insurance things , I realize two things.One , I hadn't paid my cell phone bill ( what else is new , I'm a bit terrible w bills ) so I can't text mum back , and everyone looks at me with my ringing phone , mum thinking I didn't get the text.urgh.I get beet red.Fortunately the driver sees pity at me , and picks it up , tells my mother I'm already homeward , and going to hospital ( I knew him ) and that stops stupid phone ringing.Also , in my panic and hyperventilating , I forgot some of the books , and my USB flash drive.urrrgh.Oh well , no time to go back!

I get a taxi straight to home from railway station , leave my things ,get what I need and I get the same taxi ( told the taxi driver to wait ) to the hospital.I arrive just as the admission office is shutting down.Ack.A quick explain , and some jotting , they tell me they'll do the proccess first thing tomorrow and to bring my papers then.I go up to audies, tell him I've done admission, and he tells me , fast up , come first thing tomorrow at nine am.

I then , get on a ride bus back to college , which , with a lot of people getting off work , was three hr drive just to get there , and , thank god for small mercies , I find ALL my things.

Home.Exhausted.Beyond belief.And I have to warn in.Have to send emails.Too exhausted to think though.I manage to phone my parents , arrange college affairs , warn my online friends( Greek , back then , I never had thought to research on CI abroad community back then ).

Pass out.Dressed.In front of laptop.I manage to wake up , eat something , put away laptop and change for bed.

Wednesday , 21st May 2008

I wake up with a jerk , and I see the clock.( it always vibrated at half past six , to get ready for college )

I remember it's my godmothers nameday , I have to phone her later...then it sinks..OH MY GOD.I have to be at hospital later.So , no breakfast.Uh.And I haven't packed.I feel a bit nervous.I start packing , but in my nervousness , I don't even recall what I put in.I'm close to throwing up, it isn't only CI , but my first operation in general , so I was scared.I wanted to call the whole thing off.Deep breaths.Don't think abt it.

I recall my list.I had planned to prepare meals , and freeze them.Well , no time for that.Maybe mom can do that.I boot up laptop , load it with LOTS of viewing material.While it downloads it , I'm off for a shower , and to pick up bread & milk , my parents were going to come in , but they didn't know where bakery was , or they wouldn't have time.The morning walk to the bakery and back calmed my nerves a bit.I also have picked up breakfast - cocoa milk , sesame bread , to eat after my blood draws.I get home , freeze the extra bread , grab my bag , and I get going.

Bus stop , waiting for bus to go to the hospital , I realize I forgot my insurance papers.Urgh.I backtrack.Again at the bus stop , I realize I am without my overnight bag.Ack.Leave it , I'll tell my parents to bring it.Or someone will bring it...My mind is playing games with me ?

Hospital.Admission and pre - op stuff.Know the staff that will operate me.Anesthiologist.Cardiologist.Nurse ( he was male ) , doctors.I get my pressure taken.I tell them I have LBP.They don't believe me .Well , I was stressed , and it hasn't sunk in yet , but I don't talk.( Yes , now that you know me , you'll find it strange.But back then , I was more shy. )

I was feeling scared.My parents haven't arrived yet , they got stuck.Everything LITERALLY last minute.

First blood draw.Ouch.Well , at least I can eat something now.Uh , no time.Resident ENT comes in , and says , I'll show you where you staying.Women's ward , ENT wing , 8 beds.Most are full.I leave my papers and some other things , and I get my breakfast and pocketbook , to his office, where I reply all his questions while eating.He asks me , are you worried, stressed abt the op.I say , well yes , but also with the time frame you've given me , I 'm run off my feet!! He laughs.

He walks me back to my ward , and says , wait here for cardiologist.I finish my milk and throw it in the trash.In the meantime , the other patients want to know what I'm in for.We start talking , when I find another CI patient , with who we've talked over the net.I get excited and camp out to see if I can meet her in real life.Cardiologist comes in , does her stuff , says your pressure is fine.I try to compose an answer , but she's already gone.ack.Oh well.doesn't matter I though ( apparently , I was WRONG! )

My parents arrive and , at the same time , CI patient who is discharged so , I introduce myself and my parents to her.We talk for awhile , and we're excited.Lots of advice.My parents talk with Head ENT , who takes me in to examine me , and says everything is clear.It finally starts to sink in.I want to panic , hyperventilate , but I suppress it.I don't want to cause a scene.Plus , it was my own choice.Wasn't it?

I still hadn't done the chest x-ray to confirm I'm not sick, and to see anaesthiologist and surgeon.That is SLOW.My parents get impatient, and I tell them , go home , I can handle it here.

They leave , and I'm starting to get antsy.I can't sit still even at home ( yeah , you know it ) so , stress , and anxiety made me even more so.I start walking all over the ward , and when the other people complain , I go for a walk at the hallway.LOL.

Oops.Some of the blood draw got wasted , they dropped some of the vials , and needed some more.Sit down.Yes ma'am.
I talk with CI friend , she's talking my ear off , haha.She probably tries to make me sit.LOL.Uh , oh , another blood draw? What are you nurse , draculas ? Your sugar was a bit high , so we're retaking blood.OF COURSE it would be high , I had eaten breakfast.Nurse replies , you didn't tell.Well I hadn't time , you came in sat me down and left again.

Anaesthiologist comes in, cross checkes history , takes his leave after asking some extra q's.I say the other patients at the ward , I'm going for a walk , I'm getting nuts , plus , I wanted to think.

I get back , and go for X-ray , and I talk with the surgeon.Pre op finally done , and it's already past lunchtime.I manage to persuade resident doc to let me go , and I get home , finish packing , make some dinner , and I get back to the hospital at 8 pm, after some more internet talking , and I feel calmer , I talk with mom too.I tell her its no point to come with me , come tomorrow for surgery around seven or so?

The hospital bed is hard , plus , I keep waking up , with the nurses constantly coming in the ward to tend to the other patients.

Thursday 22th May 2008

Nurse's aide wakes me up at seven , and she gives me a calming pill.Which never WORKED.I was SO nervous.I started again walking all the ward , and when I get kicked out , the hallway.Does that make you remember something ? :P I get some last pre op stuff done , and around 8 or so , my parents come in..A nurse brings in the surgery clothes..uuuuh , how do you wear these?
I start joking that with these I'm all ready for psych ward , and everyone laughs!

I got in OR around 8:45.I feel something pinching my left hand..Ouch!The team's trying to put the cardio monitor stuff , but I get shy and hide my chest.Well they conked me out a bit earlier.

Deep breaths...count to ten..OK..one , two , three , five ( I remember skipping 4 and everyone laughs ) I start getting dizzy , I say six...I see this huge mask...and..I don't remember anything else!!

I saw SO weird dreams , I still remember them.Suddenly , I feel hands on me ..Wasn't I in cloud nine ? someone pushing me , slapping me gently...I want to sleep some more mum, I wanna say..but I notice , my mouth can't move much..I try to open one eye..I see something green ( I can't see without glasses much! ) then , my brain feeds me with memories..Jolt awake! The op , the running off , EVERYTHING.I think..I DID it.I pick up my free hand..and I pat myself , yup , bandage here.I start grinning.The doctors wanted me to frown , smile , do some expressions , to see if my side was ok , and , I was grinning.LOL.I did it!

I got disconnected from all the paraphernalia , and get wheeled in my room.While I try to crawl in my hospital bed , I think..whoa , I'm in a HIGH.No wonder druggies are ADDICTED!LOL.I couldn't make a coherent word.Nurse says that I'm not allowed to sleep for two hours , and that I should keep the oxygen mask on my face.They connect me with some saline , and I HATE that.I want my hands free , but I can't protest at all , seeing that I'm completely out of it!

Mum , in an attempt to keep me awake , gives me my cell phone , to start texting..I give it back , saying I can't..since I hadn't paid it.she gives it back , and gives her phone too.LOL! ( afterwards she complained of a high bill! ROFL ) I send the first text , but it was completely blank.Wow.I'm too out of it.she texts back with a question mark.I manage to stumble a response.I'm out.I'm ok.I'm drugged up.She replies back with a LOL, and goes to alert some common friends via net.I managed to text everyone , LOL, and by then , I was allowed to sleep!

Dad left straight back for his work , and mom stayed with me at the hospital , to look after me.I got in a 2 hour nap , and then nurse wakes me up in the attempt , to put some IV medicines.She also brings me some hot tea to drink.I DETEST tea.I drink some though.I couldn't feel the taste.My tongue is completely NUMB.

I even had some visitors the same day.I was feeling better by afternoon , but I didn't dare get up, I was feeling VERY weak ,very dizzy.
Kept napping and waking up and texting...and feeling nauseus!!

Friday , 23rd May 2008

I was feeling a LOT better , I could again talk , text , but I didn't dare get up.I was trying to sit up and getting really dizzy.It was a bit frustrating for me.
I was feeling really out of it , and my apetite was coming back , so I managed some soup.I even got a visit from my brother , and we did a walk around evening , with him supporting me.after that walk , I was feeling FINE , just I tired more easily!

Saturday, 24rd May 2008

I finally was back to my old self..exhausted , but back to normal.Except one thing.That bandage was driving me TOTALLY up the wall , TOTALLY bonkers.It was SO tight , and I'd had already developed sores.I was feeling so normal that I told mom there isn't point of her staying all day anymore , just visit me in afternoons , bring me books etc.I even requested the laptop to see my movies , etc.I was getting BORED.
IV was also driving me up the wall , I kept changing positions in the arm since my vein kept blowing.UGH! I wanted to be DONE with it and OUT of the hospital.

I even managed to go to toilet without ANY help.Even shower.I even was feeling some taste back.( it completely came back after two months )

I didn't request a painkiller that night , bc I was feeling overdrugged! Well , I came to regret it! By two am I was hurting quite a lot , but I didn't talk , just tried to sleep.They had told me when I wouldn't need IV painkillers I'd get the bandage removed.And I wanted that thing OFF!

Sunday , 25th May 2008

I woke up really early , around 6 am from some noise , which I translated in an Enduro motorbike.LOL.I was wondering why I was hearing that , ( I didn't know abt tinnitus , or the need of brain to make ghost noises back then ) and my back was KILLING me , so I got up for a walk , and I even did some gym routine , see if I could relieve my back.I had seen myself , and I was looking like an extremely sad puppy.aaah...*sniffle*

I made it back and slept some more , and when I woke up , I requested to get the bandage removed.No, wait till head doctor gives say so.UGH!I was so sad and annoyed I didn't want to talk with ANYONE.

This afternoon I had a visit from the kiddos and their mother..they weren't expecting to see me like this.S , even brought me a painting ( which I still have! ) , I give them juices and sweets from other visitors and we talk.I get up for a bathroom break , and in the hall way , I meet the resident doctor , ad I grumbled to him abt the bandage.They told me then that I had some serious bleeding , and they were keeping me in and bandaged as precaution.Um , nice to know THREE days later.NOT.I even learn they were thinking of doing something , but I proved not needing it..I asked some questions , and it ends up , if they listened to me , we'd avoided the whole mess.I grumble again and they said I'd get the bandage off Tuesday.I get annoyed and walk back to my ward , and start joking with my visitors , etc.

Around evening , they leave off , and mum comes in half hr later, with my laptop.Finally , I wouldn't be bored out of my mind!

Monday , 26th May 2008

I had resigned myself that I wouldn't get that bandage off till Tues.BOTH my ears were in pain , I had operated the left , but they had tied the bandage behind right so it wouldn't slip , so I was feeling CRAP.Not to mention I had gotten sores.urgh.

I was trying to see House MD on my laptop , when audie comes in for a visit.He asks me what I'm doing.I'm dying of boredom I say.His answer..lets get your bandage off.Needless to say I followed him!

I get that off..when I smell antiseptics with clear spirits I almost fainted..I managed to hold on...Whew!!

Activation...WTF ? Four days early...but back then , I didn't knew..

he shows me how to assemble it , how to wear it , and he starts the activation proccess..it was an experience I will NEVER forget.Never.Even my stomach vibrated!

Mum was beyond herself.Almost crying.Walking back to my ward..I could hear a lot of things..after awhile , it got a bit too much , and pulled it off..but I was glowing!

I even could hear myself kissing my brother...wow..what a SOUND!

I got discharged from hospital two days later.*smile*

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Friendship, iTouch-ing and call-ing!


Haven't posted for awhile , been busy!

A happy busy though..

I'm two years post implant , and just day before yesterday...I heard the phone ringing as I was expecting my mom for a weekend visit.

It was her sister.:)

Ayup , I picked it up and had a brief chat.A VERY understanding chat.and I didn't realize it until later.

I finally feel like all my hard work has paid off.I finally realize I've FINALLY taken off where I wanted to be...

For awhile I was feeling struggling , but I can't be more thankful than I am to my friends , my CI friends , who were happier than I was! They kept me going and they kept encouraging me , even when I grumbled.I feel sooooooo happier now , and as if a circle is closing here.

I also watched a greek show , the other day , and could understand at least 70-80% of it!! I was laughing , and shared it with a couple of my friends.

Three years ago , I realized I was losing my hearing,I realized I couldn't phone or call my parents.I couldn't feel anything except tired and struggling.

Yesterday I was just relaxing , and I could differentiate from when it was my turn in Scrabble ( was playing a game with some gals and lost. ) from when my MSN messenger or Skype dinged.Or FB chat ping.And it felt NORMAL.

I could hear the word curtains being shouted from outside , someone in his van was selling curtains and bamboo furniture - I think also carpets , but not sure - and it was a bit flooring!

I also got an iTouch , and loving it.Listening to music ( I've even loaned it to my mom y'day to listen to her talk radio show that she missed. )

it's been a charm!

I also realized , that I've got some friendships for at least this long , two years.Others are a year long , or just under the year mark.

And yet.

I just sit back and think...I've hosted a friend :) , am preparing to see another , am hoping to see yet another implanted , few are going bilateral , and yet.I'm still here.

CI didn't only gave me the miracle of hearing.( and it's the most profound miracle! ) but also the miracle of having all these friends.My mind is scrolling with all the friendships I've made online.My heart bursts with every single one , and some for me , are the dearest of all.

It gave me the miracle to know who is my true friends , who is happy with my triumphs , who is with me when I get down , who is kicking my butt when I over do it!

I can't wait to hear my nephew crying in my ear , or hearing him snuffling and fussing( sorry cousin! you'd want a peaceful son! LOL! ) and my honorary nephew's doing the same ( sorry Kara! )

I can't wait for more adventures , hearing or not.

Back to my iTouch...WHY doesn't it has a blogger app ? ! ? Hmmmm....

Wednesday, June 2, 2010



Some friends I see almost every day.I say good morning to them.We exchange pleasantries , smiles , how's you , small talk.

Some I was seeing every day when I was a lil kid.We still catch up from time , either when we visit each other , or via text , emails , to time.With some , I've lost contact , or have frozen our relationships.Childhood memories make me think of them as friends though.

Some I talk to them every day online.Commenting on each other's FB walls.Most of them I've almost never met them , except our online chats.Some I've met , some not , but I care for each of them.I'll think of them , even if they're at the other side of the globe.Or in far-flung corners.I don't care.Or in different time zones.We make it work out.

And there are friends , either here , or online , that really 'get' me , or me them.Some have a CI as me.Some have two.Some have none ,but they try to understand.

I have friends very near and dear of my heart.And I'm glad I have them.Because they're here.For me.Either in the same town , or in a far flung corner.

It's all that matters.

This post , is dedicated to all of you.We come from different walks of life , have different views , beliefs , values.Some are the same , some slightly different , but , we are working together to build this bridge that is called FRIENDSHIP.

My wish , that this bridge , from me to each one of you , never crumbles.Or to each from you , to your friends.But , never let it crumble if you can help it.
If you are reading it , sit back a moment , and think about your friends.and smile , revel in their caring and love for you , and in your caring and love for you.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Summer is coming...

I haven't posted for 3 months..bad me!

I'll do a bullet update again

  • Braces : I get them tightened every month.Got the last tightening yesterday and it's been the most painful since I got them.Orthodentist ( is that even a word? ) said since I was doing really well and they got straighter so soon that he'll tighten them a bit more than last time.And I let him.What was I thinking?!?! I couldn't even eat my soft spaghetti.Thank god for ice - cream!!!
  • CI : I recently got toupee tape from Tammy ( she also included some cables that Aiden didn't need any more , aww , I want to thank her so so so much! ) and since then it's been a charm.The sunglasses pose a problem though sometimes.I don't like lopsided.Oh well cant have everything I guess.On the battery issue I posted a while back - my brown battery got broken the same way - grey prongs off!And it's off warranty.And...I don't have any money to get new one...*sigh* it does work though if I tape it.
  • Speech therapy : We're doing some oral motor stuff , and AVT stuff.So far , I can pick more things , but I can tell I need a mapping , and soon.Haven't gone since last year ( at my 8 month actually ) , and I celebrated my 2nd hearing birthday few days ago..But , again , I don't like change much , and I don't want to go to my audie since I don't like him.Other people here love him , but it doesn't take much in my book to dislike someone. Phone exercise gets frustrating though.I don't have anyone to exercise at home , and speech's phone ( a wireless one ) sounds really tinny sometimes.Plus , on my previous mapping I could understand my mom on the phone.Nada now.And I don't speak up as often as I should.My online friends will find that weird ,but in life I'm terribly shy.I speak yes , but I don't stand up for myself and let people talk/walk over me , claiming they know best for me.
  • N5 : It finally came to Greece in late April , and I went to see it up close 2 weeks ago.it seemed so TINY and thin!! I tried it on my ear and it was like , whoa , I feel like I don't wear much.it was a welcome change from bulky freedom.I did ask a lot of questions at private CI centre , and they told me that it won't get approved since my insurance will not do it till warranty on my Freedom has run out, and they take the extending one too,so it won't be for 5 yrs(I've done 2 of them though..another three to go, and by then , Cochlear might have something better anyway... ) .urgh.I asked the price of one , to get it maybe privately.Not gonna happen since the price is 10,500€ and it's a bit too much.I maybe could get a loan , but not possible right now since I don't have a job.I really wish I could do it though.
  • Blogging : Sorry I slacked , but I follow all your blogs faithfully , and follow most of you through FB and I prefer to comment on there.Or Skype,emailing :) I do have a story to tell , but sometimes I feel shy and don't write.Maybe I should do write.We'll see.
  • CI art : There was some wanting on FB for CI art , and I made some clay items and submitted them , which are posted here.
  • CI moments : I've had a lot of them , but the most profound one was when I skyped someone on video , and I heard her asking me " How are you ? " in English, when my first language is Greek , and I haven't trained in English since , I want to master Greek first.It was a bit overwhelming to catch that , even if it was a bit crackly.
But even if I don't respond..or be as involved in the blogworld as I used to be..I still share my moments with CI friends , people that were with me since this long journey started.Since I got in this...I've done amazing things.I changed , and let myself wonder at the miracle of hearing BETTER , listening, reconnecting, connecting with people.I've made a great network of great friends , and some closer ones.I value each one's friendship , and be amazed abt that too.Amazed for hearing a sound, and few moments later , FB-ing it , only to get cheered up , and feel more happy thinking , I've got people that they 'get' it.They care.And they're in corners of the world.Singapore, USA , UK , Germany , NZ , Australia.Far flung corners( at least for me! ).


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Nameless post.Or , rather a lot of posts rolled in one.

Wow, I really let time slide without blogging....So , I rolled all the posts I should do in just one post.I'm SO lazy.

Braces are going good.I've gotten used to them , and I've already seen a BIG difference , my teeth are straighter , and nicer.I really love it now.And I want to thank all the honest opinions that did tell me that I definitely need them.Although having to eat spaghetti with braces is annoying.Um , and lets not forget that I still have four gaps where I used to have four teeth.I also couldn't get used to that I should be careful when eating , and I had a wire popped off once.Yeah.Oops.Around Christmas too , when everything was shut off for holidays, so the wire really irritated me.Lesson learned.I'm more careful now.

I go back on the 9th to get them hopefully tightened.For the last few appts all I got was to change brace things.Oy.But , EVEN with them I've seen a difference.

Speech therapy goes too well.

Last session we tried something , don't know how to call it , I turned my back and my therapist said random words from random categories , without telling me first.I got almost all of them , and that kept me happy , because I thought my auditory memory had ground to a halt.I used to struggle in the computer program.Uh , apparently not so.I can listen to short excerpts of books while I have it in front of me and reading , so apparently that helped my word recognition.The words that I missed I had said something approximately close in pronounciation , and the same syllables so I'm coming close to hitting it.

Apparently it's harder for prelingual.Something I also noticed is that my lipreading skill is a bit more rusty as I don't depend on it as much as I used to.I also don't get fatigued if I lipread all day like I used to.I used in the end of the day to be really exhausted and I was always in bed by 11.Um , lets say now that my bedtime is around 2 am.*grin* it didn't click till now.

The one thing that really annoys me is that when CI battery dies , I'll always yawn in the 5 first minutes.Um , isnt that kind of rude ? Plus , it never happened with my hearing aid unless I was REALLY tired.

Apparently my brain works much more hard than I originally thought.Good to know , although I don't want my lipreading skill to fail, so I've been really concerned about it.But one thing I noticed is that a big change.

Before I'd just focus on the lips and sometimes ONLY the lips without reading the whole face/body thing unless it was something really obvious.

Now though it's another story.I feel like I know some people a LOT better.Um , lets say that now I know when I'm about to be pranked , as I can see the twinkle in somebody's eyes.

Or when they are about to cry , I notice eyes shining with unshed tears.And that makes me reel.For obvious and not so obvious reasons.The obvious , because I don't want anyone to cry.The not so obvious is that I reel with myself , recognizing depth of emotions , just from a more open look.I used to have tunnel vision and now it's broadened with just having the CI.

Sometimes when I think back on HOW MUCH I really struggled with my hearing aid , I wonder how on earth I did it.
But I didn't know any better , so I got on with WHAT I knew I had.

I got sidetracked, so , about lipreading.How to preserve that?

So far my solution is to have Sundays as deaf days , even if I go out ( although I do have my CI in my bag just in case. ) And I notice I struggle.But I want to keep my ability , because even if I cherish my CI and I marvel at my progress , I want to keep all tools in my belt , just in case.

And I noticed with some rest time I tend to function better on the hearing days.

One other thing , not so CI wise , but related is to CI anyway is this.

My purse got stolen the other day.Someone got it without me even knowing it.And I had all my bank cards and money in it.Which I got them cancelled and replaced , even if it was a drag.But my Cochlear Patient Card was in my purse too.With my phone numbers and address on it.And doctors phone and hospital.Um , yeah.I don't know how to replace THAT yet , although I'm trying to find out.
I used to have the hope that they'll contact me with it or at least mail the purse.Um , not so happening.

We also started our pre-Lent Carnival thing.I see a lot of kids dressed up.Little princesses , and spaniolas , pint sized Zorro's and Spidermans.Superman , Snow Whites.Carnival ends on the 19th and on the 21st I have my nameday celebration.

On the 8th I have also my birthday , and in anticipation , I ordered something for me.It's the Western Digital Media Streamer Live.Can't wait for it to get here.Plus , the latest expensive things I got lately always had to do with CI.

Speaking about CI.Around Christmas holidays , I actually mentioned that my battery broke.Well , it got replaced through warranty.And speedily.I was actually impressed with the service QUALITY I got from Ci-shop.Especially when I am used to the sometimes terrible and dodgy service on other things I am subjected every day.

Also , I decided after a bit of debating , to let my hair grow longer.So now they're kind of longish , so I pulled out a hard headband to wear , like I used to.

Um , big fail.The tips of the headband really bothered the skin over the internal implant.I was a bit dismayed , as I don't really like pins to keep my fringe in check.

I was really disappointed.They weren't long enough for a ponytail even.Then I decided to use a soft headband.That doesn't only works good , but it also helps to keep my coil in place.And my hair.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I seem like I've fallen off the blogland..*sorry*

Lately I wasn't in a mood for writing , and I seem to prefer more FB'king or instant messaging over the internet..

So , first of all I want to wish you a happy TwentyTen.Another decade passed.Yikes!I feel a bit old now that I'm on the latter side of my twenties..

I've been also busy..

Braces : I got them put on , and they felt REALLY weird the first few days.Then one day I felt like I was wearing braces most of my life.Weird how adaptive the body is sometimes.They occasionally hurt a bit and I can't bite anything with my front teeth now , it is uncomfortable.Let's say I really remembered what is the purpose of a knife..Yeah , that's explanation enough!

I had a pretty decent time this Christmas , just relaxing and enjoying time with my family.I just wanted to spend time with family and relatives.I also am questioning the point of my impending trip to Athens, where I'll see some friends, but I'm not sure if I should go - I can afford it ,but I feel like I shouldn't go.

CI : Yesterday I noticed my long coil had stretched out and the cord was exposed to the elements.That isn't good , so I asked in FB.It still works , I just am worried about it stopping working suddenly as I'm depending on it 50% of the time( and 100% these holidays as I managed to sit on my nice pair of glasses.And broke them.Eek.I do have backup frames , but they're BULKY.The repair is going to burn a bit of a hole in my spending money.).

Maybe other CI users wear it on the ear only with maybe an earmold for not losing it , but I beg to differ.
After years of having earmolds in my ear I'm not keen on putting anything on my ear at all, and anyway I've seen a BIG improvement on my allergy/breathing issues since I ditched the hearing aid I was wearing on my implanted ear pre - CI, so I refuse point blank to get even a skeleton earmold.

So the long coil that Kylie and Lissy sent me for me it was a godsend - when I got it on early April I used to have earaches all the time from the weight , so I wore it exclusively and attempted to have it on my ear occassionaly to see if the pain had changed.Then I got thin wire glasses which were rimless so I started wearing it on the ear but when I was home I'd switch - but my mom wanted me to have at least the microphone part on my ear , so she got me a babyworn cord - which made a difference in making my life easier ( picking up the telephone , listening to my PAC etc ) but I didn't see any change in quality in quality of hearing.it just is plain convenience I think.Changing the batteries from shoulderworn long coil CI is tricky to say the least.But my observation is that I feel safer that way when I'm doing chores , or when I'm driving my motorbike ( can anyone imagine the CI falling on the road and being driven upon ? Eek! ) or when I'm at my dad's boat..where I get wet with spray at my front and head...but the CI is quite protected at my shoulder most of the time.

My observations from wearing the babyworn are few but I'm left with some questions.

1) The Accu holder is BULKY.I'm starting to wonder how toddlers and babies tolerate it.I'm said that it's slimmed down with the N5.I solved this problem with putting the Accu into a pouch ( yeah , it was ideal ) and I reduced a LOT of the bulk.I can understand people wanting to just see the LCD screen , but for older children that still wear the babyworn I think is ideal.Also , it is made from plastic , which breaks often.Yes , you can replace it , but not everyone can afford it.

2) The babyworn is one fixed length only.That certainly puts me into wondering what was Cochlear thinking? I am aware they have bodyworn cord that is more lengthy , but they have a different controller for that - I like to be flexible.I like the ability that my small box I have stored everything in gives me so much freedom.I'm going to some nice do? I'll wear the full BTE for few hours.Going for some shopping or to college with my everyday clothes ? ( In winter I dress only with turtlenecks ) I'll put the babyworn and hide the Accu in my bra.And the brown cord tangles with my hair and most of it is hidden from the turtleneck anyway.Going for driving or doing chores?Or , even , wearing my old prescription glasses that don't leave any space for a CI on my ear? I'll put the long coil and put the BTE in the pouch.

Another observation that I didn't make on my own.I used to be hyped about the new N5 which is seeming to be better , but after reading a long post that said that essentially the N5 has the same weight with the Freedoms , I just was kind of put off after that.Not to mention of the kinks that were listed.What certainly got me interested was the remote control though.But I'm in a wait and see approach.

As for the rechargeable batteries...The one I got 11 months ago..it broke.Yeah.it broke.Thankfully , CiShop said it was under warranty so it is going to replace it after I mail it in.I should have a new rechargeable in few weeks.And , thankfully , I have some spare disposables and battery cage with me.( Needless to say I had bought two rechargeable batteries so I still have the one , and when it dies I used to put the other , but now I have disposables in instead. )Apparently , the top grey prongs came apart from the main body of the rechargeable.

Plus , since having some of difficulties with my CI and not having everything on hand , I turned a small Strawberry Fruitcake coin purse in a CI purse for my own purposes.I can fit a six pack of disposables in the bottom ( with the top cardboard folded or cut though , a spare short coil , and my long coil , a battery cage for disposables , pouch with alligator clip and the cochlear battery holder with the spare rechargeable battery.Plus an microphone cover.That will cover almost any problem , and I don't have to "remember" anything.Oh and I have an EarGear too , although I don't use it anymore.

As for storing the CI when I'm out and want to store it somewhere ( VERY rare , but it happens sometimes )it goes in my sunglasses case.I just don't see the point of hauling around the bulky case that Cochlear gave me.