Sunday, September 4, 2011

A new twist...

 I haven't written here for over  three months.

 My reason was a simple one.A health crisis.

  My hearing birthday was on May 22nd , and it was my 3rd Hearing Birthday.Three years since activation.Wow.I was feeling great.I have friends all over the globe through FB , and I was feeling very loved and supported.

 I just had experienced my first travel abroad , even with all the mishaps ( that might be detailed in a later post ) in February.Visited a friend , got surprised , had a fantastic birthday!

 All that can be turned over in an instant.The night of my hearing birthday , I was feeling great.Had dinner outside ( treated myself ) had a good walk , and was chatting with friends , when a pain that kept coming back for a few months , came again.I rubbed it to relieve it.

 A lump.My mind froze.

 A month later , under the know of some close friends and family , and with their support , I had gone through all the testing.Result of the lump : Breast Cancer. ( DCIS , Stage II ). Every other organ in me was clear.And I was heading again to the OR , for removing the whole breast. I had decided on a left mastectomy , and reconstruction.The reconstruction wasn't going to happen if the lymph nodes were positive though.SNB ( Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy ) was going to happen halfway the surgery.I had raced through all the doctor appts , breast surgeon , plastic surgeon , everything , did every scan , every exam that I was ordered to.

 My mind was on survival mode.But...I have to thank friends , dear friends that I've had either before the journey , or made while I started the journey , that supported me , laughed with me , heard me , and helped me keep my sanity.One in particular , was ALWAYS there for me.Won't name, but.....she knows who she is.

 Fortunately...I survived the OR..And now , I'm halfway through chemo.Doing treatments , recovering from breast surgery and reconstruction , learning to live with a new normal.And feeling sometimes , very grateful , for friends.And for my own luck to have discovered it early enough.

I'm doing treatment #2 on Tuesday.And today I'm officialy a bald head with a CI on.


   My ear ( aka my CI ) wasn't affected at all.There were some risks , but I weighed it out..and I just followed my own gut.

 - NO MRI - even if I could with my Freedom , under certain provisions , but I didn't trust that the guidelines would be followed closely.Not Going to Risk it.
- I did not want to do radiation therapy.There was not much evidence on the radiation therapy affecting the CI or not , so I decided instead to avoid it all together ( there were also other reasons for that decision ) and did instead mastectomy surgery.
 - However , I did bone scintilllation , which was completely safe - nuclear medicine , but it was clear , ( not totally , I found another underlying problem , but cancer-clear , which was all I cared about )
- I did an CAT scan two days ago , and that one was CLEAR too.
- Chemotherapy was completely safe for the CI , as all it affects is the cancerous cells.So , I felt safe doing that, even if it was a poison.Loss of hair did not interest me.I wasn't excited to lose my hair , but I preferred being able to have a long life , rather than hair!

  Why did not I say it publicly before ?  Mostly because I wasn't ready. but also because I needed to process it.It's hit home for me now, that I've had chemo once , and I feel like I can do it.

Also , I felt like I was ready to share.It's a hard and personal decision.Not everyone shares , and I wasn't thinking on sharing...but..there has to be someone that might need this , someone that I can help in the future with this admission...

 And I'm helping myself too in this process.I found it early , cancer is off my body , but because of the staging , I have to do chemo.So what..let's admit it.And be loved.

 Life's too little to care about petty things.Just go and hug your loved ones.Find friends that you haven't caught up in a long while and talk to them.

 Just spread love all around you.I'm fashioning my new do with caps , rags , skullcaps , and I love the versatility!

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