Just Smile and Laugh

As soon as I hit publish , I noticed it was past midnight.

I'm officialy 18 months post implant.Post surgery.Wow! Time sure flies.

As I've been noticing it , I recalled a conversation I had awhile back..it was when I was 6 months implanted.

I was at speech therapy , and there was a boy with an implant and we chatted with his mom.

Me : How old is he?
Her : He'll be nine yrs old.
Me : ( Genuinely curious ) How many months does he has the implant?
Her : Erm he's had it six..no , seven years.
Me : ( getting a surprised face ) Wow , I can't imagine even having my implant THAT long!I can't even imagine myself hitting the one year mark.

She laughs along with everyone else in there.I did make myself sound stupid, yeah , but I simply couldn't imagine something like that.I couldn't wrap my mind around that.

Now I can.:) perspective has sure changed in a year!

Where you ever in my position , not imagining having the implant THAT long , or it's just me?

Also I want to say..

18 months ago I was waking up from surgery and feeling my head...and was feeling so confused.I felt like I was DRUGGED.Saw weird dreams.LOL.

18 months ago I can remember the hope I felt.and I still feel it.only that now it's accompanied with a sense of achievement.

I'll make a long list with what I can hear and can't maybe tomorrow.Now it's time to sit back and smile.

Smile at my blunders.Smile at my successes.Smile at my nerves I had 18 months ago.Yeah I was a bundle of nerves and was walking ALL OVER the hospital.NO KIDDING!!Smile to the new friends I made bc of the CI ( Hello Laura , Mei Mei , Char Char , Tammy , Rachel to just name a few ).Smile at my apprehension of using Facebook but I did , wanting to connect with the CI community more.Smile because after hospital I did try to research every website.Smile remembering my first chats with everyone.No I don't keep logs , but I have a good memory.

Most of all I'm smiling down to the sweetest faces I can finally hear.*smoooch*

And I'm laughing.To life.To me and my blunders.I did drop the kitchen curtain y'day , did I tell you? well it did an awful clatter!and I had to laugh , first for me being clumsy , second for hearing it , third for just the joy of hearing myself laugh.

And I do hope I made you laugh!

In Which I've been letting the blog slide waaaay back..

Oooops..I sure forgot I have blogs to maintain..well life gotten busier..

And anyway I didn't have much to post about lately..Plus my weekend started out early as I've been knocked out from the spacers..



I did say I'm getting braces sometime this month , but , they had to put spacers first and they bloody hurt..Not to mention that I'm always flexing and tightening my jaw , a bad habit that I always was said that I have to stop..well with the pain I had to cut it right back...

It's weird , with four teeth removed , I certainly thought the worst was behind me..not so..apparently moving your teeth and irritating your gums isn't too cool either! I certainly was getting to get cold feet last night , not to mention day before last.On top of that I had back pains.Yeah , this time of month always decides to come when I'm most miserable and glee on me.Weird , I know.so the last two days I've been complaining non stop on FB and to my friends , so I think they all cleared off me till I manage to say I'm back to normal.lol!

I'm not really normal , but I'm feeling better as long as I keep my mouth a bit open.Next Thursday I get the braces fitted I think, so there's a sure fire way of cutting my bad habit! I hope I get back to normal real soon , I'm sick of wondering what to eat and try to munch without hurting.

I also became a bit lazy around here and I didn't picked after myself , so my apartment looks like a tornado was through it! I have to get through a LOT of laundry and ironing.

On speech therapy , I'm going better and better , although I should get a mapping sometime soon as I'm starting to notice a decrease.I'll have to schedule that after I'm finished with the braces.Maybe sometime before the holidays.Phone calls sure are easier.The weird thing is that I hear pretty well when I'm with my cellphone , when my landling I can't hear crap.and I have a special phone from my HA days..Go figure.I'll have to get a normal landline and make comparisions.I was bummed though to cancel speech yesterday but I was feeling really miserable.I'll have to reschedule that appointment and I expect I'll have to cancel next Fri too.I don't know if I'll go on Monday either , I'm waiting to see how I'm feeling and if I can talk and eat normal.

Also with braces we'll have to stop the oral motor exercises for a little while , dunno how long.we'll see.I've been trying them now and they don't cause me any discomfort except that one I was failing anyway to do, so I think I'm good to go.

Nucleus 5 and the Cochlear Store

I might be late but at first I wanted to make my own post when Nucleus 5 is going to be in Greece.

But I can't wait! *smile*

I want to place my musings on that..

- After some asking around ( I even asked Cochlear offices here by email and they didn't know anything about it , will ask my audie when I next see him ) I deduced that anything that gets approved at US will be two years down the line for Greece.Freedom has been in the market for US around to five or six years ( can't recall exactly ) and it got approved in Greece two years down the line.Maybe this one will be speedier ( I hope so ) but I won't hold my breath yet.

Oh ok , everyone knows that I am holding it.

Frankly - lighter processor ? with all the trouble I keep having with my Freedom for me is a reason alone to upgrade!

A remote control ? it gets better! I like being flexible and not having to remember all combinations of buttons for this and that ( I remember them yeah , but that is not the point ) and have instant troubleshooting.

LiteWear? that gets me even excited.Granted , it might not be for me ( I hope! )

Seperate cable coil and cable button ? Wow.Just even better.And the lengths are the same money!I peeked into Cochlear Store..they're all $95 regardless of the length! And the coil button - you can have just the one and change the lengths however you like.a definite plus as I utilise shoulderworn a lot.And these cables can easily be tucked away in a small pouch that I have for most cables ( mp3 , cell , etc )

The two battery option even has me hooked.Although there IS going to be a rechargeable sold and soon as it gets FDA approved it is going to be available
online.

What was most dissapointing though was that there weren't much pictures.The only thing I managed to see was the Remote Assistant and the magnets for the coil ( they remind me of a clock by the way )

Also - the Freedom Cochlear Store has O-rings for sale for the rechargeable batteries and they are...a WHOPPING $2!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! My brown battery became useless a few days ago..and I put an O-ring from a battery cage I had lying around.

Greece , approve it already so I can start insurance authorization to get the new one...Yea , I'm impatient *grin*


I also need to shout out to Tammy who sent me some Topstick tape for free to try it out! She's the best!Thanks dear ,and do give a big kiss to Aiden!He is a precious!

*sigh* I am going to order some Freedom things I need and I wish it would be my last order..but it wont..

Progress in Listening

I haven't been posting my progress at all lately..shame on me!

Hmmm what to write what to write....

In two days I'll be one month away from being 18 months implanted..wow time sure flies!

In speech therapy I've been doing oral motor exercises although I laugh sometimes in some of them because I find them a bit funny! I also started doing phone exercises.I have a text in front of me and my therapist has the same one..and we communicate via the phone in seperate rooms.Today's room was a bit creepy though, it was underlighted...


is the hardest right now , and I'm told not to use telecoil at all..hmmmm..any thoughts on that?







I also was suggested to start again studying on my electronic piano so I can distinguish tones ( I used to study the piano when I was in junior high , then stopped when went to high school..not much time. ) I'll have to get my parents to send it to me or bring it next time they come over.





My progress has me pleased and I'm also looking for fairy tales accompanied with CD audio.When I'm done with them I'll donate them somewhere or give them to kids!I might even start little Sophia to read to me something simple while I try to listen next time I visit!it will be challenging to listen to a little kids voice!When I was wearing my hearing aid I couldn't hear little Sophia's voice and I utilised lipreading a lot! I also had her sister help me a bit , but the little baby figured out she'd get more favors if she spoke deeply.Haha, the little devil!Now I can hear her but I can't listen so I still use lipreading.

After some comments - some well meaning and some expert too saying that, but also a couple have demoralizing me , I decided to put on braces.That will be probably sometime in November!

Also , the other day I was listening to some greek YouTube song..and I managed with some help to decipher the wording and I could even understand where the singer was stressing the word! that had me excited..maybe I need to do that more often!

Ooooohhhh!!!

I went to Athens again for a friends' wedding , via train...as the daytime train chugged due south , I enjoyed the scenery that was rolling from thw window , listening to music that was spewing from my PSP ( which I use as an mp3 player ) when suddenly the music stopped.at first I didn't even investigate it , thinking I was between songs.

As the pause grew longer , I thought that maybe my PSP had turned itself off.Weird , as I had taken care of charging it fully the night before , in preparation for the 4 hour ride.So I opened my bag , only to see that it was still actively playing..

What had happened? at first I thought..Hmm faulty coil? as I searched my head for the magnet that adorns my hair , I couldn't find it.My coil had popped off without me even getting wind of it.

That was unnerving me , as I had become used to the constant tugging of the coil.That made me wonder.What is the right way to wear the coil ? When you feel a little tightness or when you don't feel it at all and only thing to notice it has popped off is the clue you don't hear anymore?

What made me chuckle was that I immediately didn't even think to investigate the CI , but my music player first and then I did remember it.

Maybe it is finally becoming something I'm not anymore conscious of.Is that good or bad? I don't know , the only thing that I know is that makes me feel like I've achieved some step at last!

If only the weight problem could be magically rectified , I'd be happy!

A vote that led to unrelated things.

Greece has been in upheaval since Sept 4th when the ex-Prime Minister announced the start of elections.

The tv spouted election spots.Vote that one , this one etc.I always switched the tv channel when they got them on.Panelists were discussing about the wings that might win.Shouting was the proper word , but let's keep things civil here *grin*

The culmination was this weekend when voting was started.Voting stations are at schools , which finish the week a day early , so they can prepare the classrooms for votees.They remove all the desks , and keep only two - three for the voting leaflets ( yes we do it the old fashioned way ) and for the box were you put your envelope with your secret decision.

My family and I went on Sunday afternoon to vote.And that led to some other thoughts of mine , that are totally unrelated.

We went in to a school that was our assigned voting station, at the village that I am descended from my fathers' side.Me , my mother , my father and my brother.We found the classroom that we were supposed to vote in ( a few years ago , they were segegrated by sex.Now we're segegrated by alphabet letter our surnames start with. ) and the voting comitee that was looking in the books for names requested our ID's.And thats when I noticed I was hearing horribly.As I gave my ID card , I looked around the classroom.It was mostly empty except for three desks lined up.And the sound bounced everywhere.Plain white walls.Marble floors that cleaned up easily but were horrible for sound bouncing.Not much furniture.No carpet.

And after reading much blogs that had exactly that on their blogs, something clicked.I marveled that I was really struggling when I went to school.And I didn't knew that some factor had to do with the environment.Most of all the sound was a bit horrible.When it was my turn to vote I could hear from inside the curtain someone stamping some papers and it sounded 10 times more loud.I was glad to make my escape.W

But while I was taking my ride home , I suddenly realized that there ARE a lot of HOH and deaf kids across the country , and are really struggling here.The FM systems here are an unknown entity.And if they were known , the school system wouldn't provide them.The parents have to get them ( and it's not affordable thing ) and I wondered whether the FM system would help it or make worse the bouncing.Especially the ones that offer amplification to the whole class and are not personal like the Microlink from Phonak.

I'm eagerly waiting your thoughts.I'd love to try something or have someone try an amplification device in a similar setting and share his/her experience.Would it be okay? Would it be as horrible as I imagine ?

I need to vent...

I just need to get it off..

Sometimes some days are GREAT with my CI.

Others are not so great but I cope.Because I want to hear!


Some days I'm so thankful for the chance to hear again and to be able , just today , to discriminate some words from the tv.Or other things on other days.

But my progress has been slow and frustrating.Maybe my audie needs to get a better map for me.Maybe he isn't competent enough.Maybe I'm just one of the tricky patients.Or maybe I should speak up more on mapping points.

Another aspect is that nobody warns you about the changes , transitions.Not the ones from the sound , but the change from Hearing aids to CI BTE's.

I went from a Widex hearing aid Senso+ P38 ( I don't know how powerful it was , but I had it for 10 years , and it worked well for me.Served me well.Before that I couldn't even imagine talking on the phone , not to mention other things. ) which I have still in a drawer , in it's case , like I used to do every night.I can't even give it away to Lion's Heart or something similar, just to help people , because I'm still emotionally attached to it.

I still expect to wear my Senso, even if I'm 16 months implanted , and going.

But I also remember one thing clearly.That my hearing aid used to be so light.I couldn't feel it at all.

Or maybe I'm not attached to my CI yet.Maybe it is because it's so troublesome.Or it is maybe because I had it less than two years.( For anyone wondering , I'm just a person that doesn't do anything if she's not emotionally attached to it.Just because.Especially when it comes to something that I will have for life.)

When my CI was on my ear , it was still SO numb that I couldn't feel the weight.You see , I was activated soon after CI op ( something close to 3-7 days , I can't remember , and I can't be bothered right now to check )

I was feeling like my ear was going down a few days later.No , my actual ear , not my hearing.That's when I googled on CI blogs.I found an unimaginable trove of information , and a lot more.Before my CI operation I had logged on CI brands homepages and researched.My choice was obvious , because I didn't like MEDEL ( it was the only other option offered to me ) and I tried to contact the CI people in Greece.We even have a club.Which, is not active.the webpage wasn't even functional.their forum wouldn't let you register.UGH!

When I heard that activation abroad was a month later , I was floored.I also started to suspect that my early activation might be the culprit for all my ear troubles.

Because when I'm pulling my CI , I don't feel relieved because I can relax.Or that I can have some peace.I feel relieved , well , because I think , there goes the weight off my ear.

I tried the shoulderworn approach.It was very helpful and useful.( Thanks Kylie ) but , I'm so used to wear something on my ear that I don't feel right.Also that isn't workable anymore because I lost both of my pouches that Kylie generously provided me.

I decided to order a Snugfit when I went to get my controller replaced.The office that represents Cochlear in Greece , didn't have any in stock.It had only a child sized pair.They had to order some from Switzerland.I ordered a brown large pair.They wanted to be paid upfront.I told them I will pay on delivery because I need my money for going back home ( I was on Athens after having to see Rachel off from airport ).Also I had dealt with other companies like these that always promised delivery , got your money , and then they couldn't even recall the order.UGH.So they promised to deliver it.I ordered them to be delivered at my parents home, so they can sign it off and get it.Because of my mapping that I can't hear my $^%& doorbell to get the delivery.And on the estimated dates , I was supposed to be on a day trip somewhere.

Well big surprise here.The snugfit , two weeks later hasn't been delivered either here or my parents' home.They promised a four day delivery at the very least.

and today I snapped.My ear started again tingling and stating that it had enough.I got CI off, switched it off , twisted controller off and wore it again like that.Just the processor, without the controller part.And I feel like bliss , but I also feel like I want to hear.And that drives me crazy.

I can wear the full BTE for four to five hours without my ear complaining.After that all bets are off.

I even go without CI when I'm home , just to not have to think about it.Everybody that has seen me , can attest to it.

I always planned to get a babyworn cord , because here in Greece we don't have backup CI's.And I like being able to get the BTE when I go out.But somehow , it gets on the backburner.I have to pay for that bill.I have to repair something.

Maybe I had a bad week and I'm getting it off on the CI.Who knows.The thing that I know right now is that my ear approves from just the processor on the ear , that says that is just right.

Maybe Cochlear should provide with everything in their box.Even a babyworn even if it's for adults box.Snugfits.

Some insurances won't cover for anything else except the CI operation you see.And CI's are expensive.

Even the Coil costs double the price here.Even the setup for Babyworn.

and I'm back on plain batteries because I shouldn't have brought my charger in that sucky hotel.Now it's not working right , and I found it was the power cord which needs to get replaced.

My coil is giving signs of dying out , it starts to crackle.Thankfully someone sent me a free coil a while ago, out of her heart's goodness.Hi yourself if you're reading that!

I also want to pay someone back , but my bank is giving me trouble with paying back abroad.

I also had a nightmare experience when I had to go to a private practice to get my teeth x-rayed.I had to get a front and a side xray.I removed my CI.Immediately my ear went like WHEW the weight is off.That just made me feel inadequate.and I couldn't hear.Then I was told in no uncertain terms that I have to remove my glasses.Well , I removed them.The lady kept talking to me.I couldn't see her clearly enough to lipread so I put them back on.She was cross.I told her that I'm deaf already, and without my glasses , I'm all but blind as I can't see her well enough to lipread her.She was cross but I stood my ground.She finally saw my point so I sat on the xray machine while she directed me.when I was all set she went you can get them off.I got them off , but the little squabble added to my frustration.I was pleasant and everything , but inside I was fuming to myself for feeling inadequate enough.

At least I scared the xray people with seeing a cord thing in my side xray.That was the ground wire or the electrode.LOL.The doctor came back outside and asked me what the hell was that did I wear anything on my hair.Then he stopped on his tracks as he saw my hair was so short that no ornament could have sat there.I told him about CI operation and raised some awareness.He was interested to learn that.He wanted to ask more but he had to xray more people.*smile*
And I had to pay in the front desk for the xrays.*grumble*

Greece has a lot of expensive things AND bureaucracy.

Right now I just want to forget where I'm living.To forget that I have the farmer's insurance in Greece , which is the WORSE insurance in Greece.It won't even cover ANY of my dental plans ( much less any of CI related stuff , except for CI operation ) , and I discovered it this afternoon , it definitely won't cover the braces I need.Or the wisdom teeth removal that I'll go under in Nov.So my family has to fork over the money , just because.

Whew , I feel a lot better.But I also don't want to burden anyone else.Sorry.But I just want to take it off.

I just hope tomorrow will be in a positive way.Or I just had a particular bad day.