Friends

Friends...

Some friends I see almost every day.I say good morning to them.We exchange pleasantries , smiles , how's you , small talk.

Some I was seeing every day when I was a lil kid.We still catch up from time , either when we visit each other , or via text , emails , to time.With some , I've lost contact , or have frozen our relationships.Childhood memories make me think of them as friends though.

Some I talk to them every day online.Commenting on each other's FB walls.Most of them I've almost never met them , except our online chats.Some I've met , some not , but I care for each of them.I'll think of them , even if they're at the other side of the globe.Or in far-flung corners.I don't care.Or in different time zones.We make it work out.

And there are friends , either here , or online , that really 'get' me , or me them.Some have a CI as me.Some have two.Some have none ,but they try to understand.

I have friends very near and dear of my heart.And I'm glad I have them.Because they're here.For me.Either in the same town , or in a far flung corner.

It's all that matters.

This post , is dedicated to all of you.We come from different walks of life , have different views , beliefs , values.Some are the same , some slightly different , but , we are working together to build this bridge that is called FRIENDSHIP.

My wish , that this bridge , from me to each one of you , never crumbles.Or to each from you , to your friends.But , never let it crumble if you can help it.
If you are reading it , sit back a moment , and think about your friends.and smile , revel in their caring and love for you , and in your caring and love for you.

Summer is coming...

I haven't posted for 3 months..bad me!

I'll do a bullet update again

• Braces : I get them tightened every month.Got the last tightening yesterday and it's been the most painful since I got them.Orthodentist ( is that even a word? ) said since I was doing really well and they got straighter so soon that he'll tighten them a bit more than last time.And I let him.What was I thinking?!?! I couldn't even eat my soft spaghetti.Thank god for ice - cream!!!
  
• CI : I recently got toupee tape from Tammy ( she also included some cables that Aiden didn't need any more , aww , I want to thank her so so so much! ) and since then it's been a charm.The sunglasses pose a problem though sometimes.I don't like lopsided.Oh well cant have everything I guess.On the battery issue I posted a while back - my brown battery got broken the same way - grey prongs off!And it's off warranty.And...I don't have any money to get new one...*sigh* it does work though if I tape it.
  
• Speech therapy : We're doing some oral motor stuff , and AVT stuff.So far , I can pick more things , but I can tell I need a mapping , and soon.Haven't gone since last year ( at my 8 month actually ) , and I celebrated my 2nd hearing birthday few days ago..But , again , I don't like change much , and I don't want to go to my audie since I don't like him.Other people here love him , but it doesn't take much in my book to dislike someone. Phone exercise gets frustrating though.I don't have anyone to exercise at home , and speech's phone ( a wireless one ) sounds really tinny sometimes.Plus , on my previous mapping I could understand my mom on the phone.Nada now.And I don't speak up as often as I should.My online friends will find that weird ,but in life I'm terribly shy.I speak yes , but I don't stand up for myself and let people talk/walk over me , claiming they know best for me.
• N5 : It finally came to Greece in late April , and I went to see it up close 2 weeks ago.it seemed so TINY and thin!! I tried it on my ear and it was like , whoa , I feel like I don't wear much.it was a welcome change from bulky freedom.I did ask a lot of questions at private CI centre , and they told me that it won't get approved since my insurance will not do it till warranty on my Freedom has run out, and they take the extending one too,so it won't be for 5 yrs(I've done 2 of them though..another three to go, and by then , Cochlear might have something better anyway... ) .urgh.I asked the price of one , to get it maybe privately.Not gonna happen since the price is 10,500€ and it's a bit too much.I maybe could get a loan , but not possible right now since I don't have a job.I really wish I could do it though.
• Blogging : Sorry I slacked , but I follow all your blogs faithfully , and follow most of you through FB and I prefer to comment on there.Or Skype,emailing :) I do have a story to tell , but sometimes I feel shy and don't write.Maybe I should do write.We'll see.
• CI art : There was some wanting on FB for CI art , and I made some clay items and submitted them , which are posted here.
• CI moments : I've had a lot of them , but the most profound one was when I skyped someone on video , and I heard her asking me " How are you ? " in English, when my first language is Greek , and I haven't trained in English since , I want to master Greek first.It was a bit overwhelming to catch that , even if it was a bit crackly.

But even if I don't respond..or be as involved in the blogworld as I used to be..I still share my moments with CI friends , people that were with me since this long journey started.Since I got in this...I've done amazing things.I changed , and let myself wonder at the miracle of hearing BETTER , listening, reconnecting, connecting with people.I've made a great network of great friends , and some closer ones.I value each one's friendship , and be amazed abt that too.Amazed for hearing a sound, and few moments later , FB-ing it , only to get cheered up , and feel more happy thinking , I've got people that they 'get' it.They care.And they're in corners of the world.Singapore, USA , UK , Germany , NZ , Australia.Far flung corners( at least for me! ).

Hugz!

Nameless post.Or , rather a lot of posts rolled in one.

Wow, I really let time slide without blogging....So , I rolled all the posts I should do in just one post.I'm SO lazy.



Braces are going good.I've gotten used to them , and I've already seen a BIG difference , my teeth are straighter , and nicer.I really love it now.And I want to thank all the honest opinions that did tell me that I definitely need them.Although having to eat spaghetti with braces is annoying.Um , and lets not forget that I still have four gaps where I used to have four teeth.I also couldn't get used to that I should be careful when eating , and I had a wire popped off once.Yeah.Oops.Around Christmas too , when everything was shut off for holidays, so the wire really irritated me.Lesson learned.I'm more careful now.

I go back on the 9th to get them hopefully tightened.For the last few appts all I got was to change brace things.Oy.But , EVEN with them I've seen a difference.

Speech therapy goes too well.

Last session we tried something , don't know how to call it , I turned my back and my therapist said random words from random categories , without telling me first.I got almost all of them , and that kept me happy , because I thought my auditory memory had ground to a halt.I used to struggle in the computer program.Uh , apparently not so.I can listen to short excerpts of books while I have it in front of me and reading , so apparently that helped my word recognition.The words that I missed I had said something approximately close in pronounciation , and the same syllables so I'm coming close to hitting it.

Apparently it's harder for prelingual.Something I also noticed is that my lipreading skill is a bit more rusty as I don't depend on it as much as I used to.I also don't get fatigued if I lipread all day like I used to.I used in the end of the day to be really exhausted and I was always in bed by 11.Um , lets say now that my bedtime is around 2 am.*grin* it didn't click till now.

The one thing that really annoys me is that when CI battery dies , I'll always yawn in the 5 first minutes.Um , isnt that kind of rude ? Plus , it never happened with my hearing aid unless I was REALLY tired.

Apparently my brain works much more hard than I originally thought.Good to know , although I don't want my lipreading skill to fail, so I've been really concerned about it.But one thing I noticed is that a big change.

Before I'd just focus on the lips and sometimes ONLY the lips without reading the whole face/body thing unless it was something really obvious.

Now though it's another story.I feel like I know some people a LOT better.Um , lets say that now I know when I'm about to be pranked , as I can see the twinkle in somebody's eyes.

Or when they are about to cry , I notice eyes shining with unshed tears.And that makes me reel.For obvious and not so obvious reasons.The obvious , because I don't want anyone to cry.The not so obvious is that I reel with myself , recognizing depth of emotions , just from a more open look.I used to have tunnel vision and now it's broadened with just having the CI.

Sometimes when I think back on HOW MUCH I really struggled with my hearing aid , I wonder how on earth I did it.
But I didn't know any better , so I got on with WHAT I knew I had.

I got sidetracked, so , about lipreading.How to preserve that?

So far my solution is to have Sundays as deaf days , even if I go out ( although I do have my CI in my bag just in case. ) And I notice I struggle.But I want to keep my ability , because even if I cherish my CI and I marvel at my progress , I want to keep all tools in my belt , just in case.

And I noticed with some rest time I tend to function better on the hearing days.

One other thing , not so CI wise , but related is to CI anyway is this.

My purse got stolen the other day.Someone got it without me even knowing it.And I had all my bank cards and money in it.Which I got them cancelled and replaced , even if it was a drag.But my Cochlear Patient Card was in my purse too.With my phone numbers and address on it.And doctors phone and hospital.Um , yeah.I don't know how to replace THAT yet , although I'm trying to find out.
I used to have the hope that they'll contact me with it or at least mail the purse.Um , not so happening.

We also started our pre-Lent Carnival thing.I see a lot of kids dressed up.Little princesses , and spaniolas , pint sized Zorro's and Spidermans.Superman , Snow Whites.Carnival ends on the 19th and on the 21st I have my nameday celebration.

On the 8th I have also my birthday , and in anticipation , I ordered something for me.It's the Western Digital Media Streamer Live.Can't wait for it to get here.Plus , the latest expensive things I got lately always had to do with CI.

Speaking about CI.Around Christmas holidays , I actually mentioned that my battery broke.Well , it got replaced through warranty.And speedily.I was actually impressed with the service QUALITY I got from Ci-shop.Especially when I am used to the sometimes terrible and dodgy service on other things I am subjected every day.

Also , I decided after a bit of debating , to let my hair grow longer.So now they're kind of longish , so I pulled out a hard headband to wear , like I used to.

Um , big fail.The tips of the headband really bothered the skin over the internal implant.I was a bit dismayed , as I don't really like pins to keep my fringe in check.

I was really disappointed.They weren't long enough for a ponytail even.Then I decided to use a soft headband.That doesn't only works good , but it also helps to keep my coil in place.And my hair.

I seem like I've fallen off the blogland..*sorry*

Lately I wasn't in a mood for writing , and I seem to prefer more FB'king or instant messaging over the internet..

So , first of all I want to wish you a happy TwentyTen.Another decade passed.Yikes!I feel a bit old now that I'm on the latter side of my twenties..

I've been also busy..

Braces : I got them put on , and they felt REALLY weird the first few days.Then one day I felt like I was wearing braces most of my life.Weird how adaptive the body is sometimes.They occasionally hurt a bit and I can't bite anything with my front teeth now , it is uncomfortable.Let's say I really remembered what is the purpose of a knife..Yeah , that's explanation enough!

I had a pretty decent time this Christmas , just relaxing and enjoying time with my family.I just wanted to spend time with family and relatives.I also am questioning the point of my impending trip to Athens, where I'll see some friends, but I'm not sure if I should go - I can afford it ,but I feel like I shouldn't go.

CI : Yesterday I noticed my long coil had stretched out and the cord was exposed to the elements.That isn't good , so I asked in FB.It still works , I just am worried about it stopping working suddenly as I'm depending on it 50% of the time( and 100% these holidays as I managed to sit on my nice pair of glasses.And broke them.Eek.I do have backup frames , but they're BULKY.The repair is going to burn a bit of a hole in my spending money.).

Maybe other CI users wear it on the ear only with maybe an earmold for not losing it , but I beg to differ.
After years of having earmolds in my ear I'm not keen on putting anything on my ear at all, and anyway I've seen a BIG improvement on my allergy/breathing issues since I ditched the hearing aid I was wearing on my implanted ear pre - CI, so I refuse point blank to get even a skeleton earmold.

So the long coil that Kylie and Lissy sent me for me it was a godsend - when I got it on early April I used to have earaches all the time from the weight , so I wore it exclusively and attempted to have it on my ear occassionaly to see if the pain had changed.Then I got thin wire glasses which were rimless so I started wearing it on the ear but when I was home I'd switch - but my mom wanted me to have at least the microphone part on my ear , so she got me a babyworn cord - which made a difference in making my life easier ( picking up the telephone , listening to my PAC etc ) but I didn't see any change in quality in quality of hearing.it just is plain convenience I think.Changing the batteries from shoulderworn long coil CI is tricky to say the least.But my observation is that I feel safer that way when I'm doing chores , or when I'm driving my motorbike ( can anyone imagine the CI falling on the road and being driven upon ? Eek! ) or when I'm at my dad's boat..where I get wet with spray at my front and head...but the CI is quite protected at my shoulder most of the time.

My observations from wearing the babyworn are few but I'm left with some questions.

1) The Accu holder is BULKY.I'm starting to wonder how toddlers and babies tolerate it.I'm said that it's slimmed down with the N5.I solved this problem with putting the Accu into a pouch ( yeah , it was ideal ) and I reduced a LOT of the bulk.I can understand people wanting to just see the LCD screen , but for older children that still wear the babyworn I think is ideal.Also , it is made from plastic , which breaks often.Yes , you can replace it , but not everyone can afford it.

2) The babyworn is one fixed length only.That certainly puts me into wondering what was Cochlear thinking? I am aware they have bodyworn cord that is more lengthy , but they have a different controller for that - I like to be flexible.I like the ability that my small box I have stored everything in gives me so much freedom.I'm going to some nice do? I'll wear the full BTE for few hours.Going for some shopping or to college with my everyday clothes ? ( In winter I dress only with turtlenecks ) I'll put the babyworn and hide the Accu in my bra.And the brown cord tangles with my hair and most of it is hidden from the turtleneck anyway.Going for driving or doing chores?Or , even , wearing my old prescription glasses that don't leave any space for a CI on my ear? I'll put the long coil and put the BTE in the pouch.

Another observation that I didn't make on my own.I used to be hyped about the new N5 which is seeming to be better , but after reading a long post that said that essentially the N5 has the same weight with the Freedoms , I just was kind of put off after that.Not to mention of the kinks that were listed.What certainly got me interested was the remote control though.But I'm in a wait and see approach.

As for the rechargeable batteries...The one I got 11 months ago..it broke.Yeah.it broke.Thankfully , CiShop said it was under warranty so it is going to replace it after I mail it in.I should have a new rechargeable in few weeks.And , thankfully , I have some spare disposables and battery cage with me.( Needless to say I had bought two rechargeable batteries so I still have the one , and when it dies I used to put the other , but now I have disposables in instead. )Apparently , the top grey prongs came apart from the main body of the rechargeable.

Plus , since having some of difficulties with my CI and not having everything on hand , I turned a small Strawberry Fruitcake coin purse in a CI purse for my own purposes.I can fit a six pack of disposables in the bottom ( with the top cardboard folded or cut though , a spare short coil , and my long coil , a battery cage for disposables , pouch with alligator clip and the cochlear battery holder with the spare rechargeable battery.Plus an microphone cover.That will cover almost any problem , and I don't have to "remember" anything.Oh and I have an EarGear too , although I don't use it anymore.

As for storing the CI when I'm out and want to store it somewhere ( VERY rare , but it happens sometimes )it goes in my sunglasses case.I just don't see the point of hauling around the bulky case that Cochlear gave me.

Bullet list - an excuse to jump from topic to topic without preamble!

I haven't written anything for awhile..I've been a bit busy , and when I had time I wasn't in a creative/writing mood...plus , I didn't have anything to write about..

So I'll bullet some things...

• I got my braces in two weeks ago.They feel a bit weird.
• I decorated my Christmas tree a week ago.I usually do it a LOT earlier usually it is up by Dec 1st , but it was really warm , and I was feeling like an Australian ( no offence to my Aussie friends! ) so I didn't decorate earlier.
• I didn't even had layed the carpets , but I did one this weekend with my mom helping.And promptly falling over it.I tripped.Yeah.Carpet rash is unbecoming.Not to mention that without glasses I can't see where the CI went.Stupid living room carpet.Now I''m in no rush to do the other rooms!
  
• I'm not in a Christmassy mood - usually I am the biggest fan of Christmas..just because I like the trees the music , the mood.Even the family visit for a week and a half with them , then going up to Athens to see my friends there and celebrate.But this year , I'm not in the mood.I just want to stay in my apt and pretend there is no holiday.Hope that changes in few days.
• CI moment #1 I could hear creaking floorboards in the laundry / guest room combo.And it drove me nuts.And I was chuffed I was hearing it.And chuckling because it drove me nuts.
• I broke my nice pair of glasses.and I can't find a place here that can fix them.
• CI moment #2 I can hear the doorbell consistently now.No whining about it anymore. Turned out that I accidentally turned up my Sensitivity and that was the trick.What was going on.Also , my mother was getting up every time the doorbell was rung , so I could assiocate the sound.Weird thing , my brain!
• I had some troubles lately.I'm tired of always having something urgent to do.
• Speech therapy gets easy for me.I 've started getting a little bored with the repetitive pattern.But I try to do my exercises and move forward.Plus I can hear counting in Greek and distinguish up to 100.I can hear the bus stops even when I'm zoned out.Now we're working on correcting my pronounciation.That has a downside to that.When my mother used to correct me , I'd always get annoyed.And I still get annoyed.I have to work on that if I want to improve my pronounciation.That's not the best job to do over the holidays.
  
• CI moment #3 I can always now tell when my phone goes off.I can hear landline phone fron ANYWHERE in the apartment.I'll try to turn down the volume and start over..Neighbours don't complain much abt the sound as they know I need it.I can hear my cell phone from my bag if it's ringing.I can hear the text ping if I have it on the coffee table.
• I tried the other day to make some recipe with pita bread.The only edible thing was the pita bread.LOL.Then I smiled as I remembered a friend that LOVES pita bread...Hi if you're reading this!
• I'm having a row of bad days...I don't know..and I'm astral-challenged.I don't even read my horoscope.Some of my friends claim that is because Venus or Zeus or some planet or other is in a bad position and that won't shift until end of January next year.I.just.give.them.the.look...
• The last week I inevitably make something that will be with pita bread.Apparently steak goes pretty well with pita bread baked 5 mins on the oven , sprinkled with oregano and some olive oil.Forget french fries.it's just so easier throwing the pita bread in the last 8 mins of steak cooking.Forget about having to get at 9 am to get proper bread.I just get frozen pita breads from the store.That's Alexandra's fault.Hmm I'm going to go bake some more pita bread.(Plus , you know , pita bread doesn't stick to braces , you know ? )
  
• I'm again addicted to a tv show.That is usually an on and off relationship with the tv.I can go days without even switching the tv on , and to me it's just one more decor on the corner of the living room.Then I happen to just want some hearing company..and ..WHAM I'll get hung on some show..This summer was Extreme Home Makeover with Ty.After September I wasn't so keen on watching it anymore , partly because I had always something to do.Now it's December and I'm hung on some show they imported from Turkey.Good old drama soap opera ( I used to hate soap operas , what's that? ) but something about the different ways they do things addicts me.Plus , the place I grew up has quite a bit of Turks.I don't know much words but I'm used to hearing it in odd snatches when I went out with my family.Let's see when my interest will drop off that.
• Today I'm crass with my CI.I just wore it for speech therapy and the walk to there and back home.As soon as I got in I threw it on the hallway table.But it's not a mapping issue.it's that I'm in bad mood as I explained above.Today the random receiver was my CI.
• I'm just annoyed.With my building neighbours.They decided to get a new carpet for the entrance stairs.And to change the tiny lift which needs apparently replacing which didn't ever break down.I don't use that thing regularly , but I do notice when they have notes on it that it doesn't works.Hello , we have credit crunch?Plus , the torrential rains and leaking umbrellas are absolutely going to stain the new carpet.
• I just watch all the CI blogs and I'm happy for any progression/funny stories they share.I just am kinda jealous too because my own progression is slow as snails.
• Plus , my laptop needs a serious formatting on its hard drive , but I just can't face it.But in the meantime it's slow as anything and it's tedious work.You know..first saving up stuff , bookmarks , uncluttering too in the way, then doing the format/reinstall OS , then you go and install everything else.Then you realize you forgot some vital program , and you have to install it and reboot.install and reboot.Gets kinda repetitive , isn't it ?
• CI moment #4 I can now hear without looking what two particular tv commercials say without looking.Both of them are about adult beverages.Erm , maybe I need to get out more?
  

That was quite a long bullet list , isn't it?

Just Smile and Laugh

As soon as I hit publish , I noticed it was past midnight.

I'm officialy 18 months post implant.Post surgery.Wow! Time sure flies.

As I've been noticing it , I recalled a conversation I had awhile back..it was when I was 6 months implanted.

I was at speech therapy , and there was a boy with an implant and we chatted with his mom.

Me : How old is he?
Her : He'll be nine yrs old.
Me : ( Genuinely curious ) How many months does he has the implant?
Her : Erm he's had it six..no , seven years.
Me : ( getting a surprised face ) Wow , I can't imagine even having my implant THAT long!I can't even imagine myself hitting the one year mark.

She laughs along with everyone else in there.I did make myself sound stupid, yeah , but I simply couldn't imagine something like that.I couldn't wrap my mind around that.

Now I can.:) perspective has sure changed in a year!

Where you ever in my position , not imagining having the implant THAT long , or it's just me?

Also I want to say..

18 months ago I was waking up from surgery and feeling my head...and was feeling so confused.I felt like I was DRUGGED.Saw weird dreams.LOL.

18 months ago I can remember the hope I felt.and I still feel it.only that now it's accompanied with a sense of achievement.

I'll make a long list with what I can hear and can't maybe tomorrow.Now it's time to sit back and smile.

Smile at my blunders.Smile at my successes.Smile at my nerves I had 18 months ago.Yeah I was a bundle of nerves and was walking ALL OVER the hospital.NO KIDDING!!Smile to the new friends I made bc of the CI ( Hello Laura , Mei Mei , Char Char , Tammy , Rachel to just name a few ).Smile at my apprehension of using Facebook but I did , wanting to connect with the CI community more.Smile because after hospital I did try to research every website.Smile remembering my first chats with everyone.No I don't keep logs , but I have a good memory.

Most of all I'm smiling down to the sweetest faces I can finally hear.*smoooch*

And I'm laughing.To life.To me and my blunders.I did drop the kitchen curtain y'day , did I tell you? well it did an awful clatter!and I had to laugh , first for me being clumsy , second for hearing it , third for just the joy of hearing myself laugh.

And I do hope I made you laugh!

In Which I've been letting the blog slide waaaay back..

Oooops..I sure forgot I have blogs to maintain..well life gotten busier..

And anyway I didn't have much to post about lately..Plus my weekend started out early as I've been knocked out from the spacers..



I did say I'm getting braces sometime this month , but , they had to put spacers first and they bloody hurt..Not to mention that I'm always flexing and tightening my jaw , a bad habit that I always was said that I have to stop..well with the pain I had to cut it right back...

It's weird , with four teeth removed , I certainly thought the worst was behind me..not so..apparently moving your teeth and irritating your gums isn't too cool either! I certainly was getting to get cold feet last night , not to mention day before last.On top of that I had back pains.Yeah , this time of month always decides to come when I'm most miserable and glee on me.Weird , I know.so the last two days I've been complaining non stop on FB and to my friends , so I think they all cleared off me till I manage to say I'm back to normal.lol!

I'm not really normal , but I'm feeling better as long as I keep my mouth a bit open.Next Thursday I get the braces fitted I think, so there's a sure fire way of cutting my bad habit! I hope I get back to normal real soon , I'm sick of wondering what to eat and try to munch without hurting.

I also became a bit lazy around here and I didn't picked after myself , so my apartment looks like a tornado was through it! I have to get through a LOT of laundry and ironing.

On speech therapy , I'm going better and better , although I should get a mapping sometime soon as I'm starting to notice a decrease.I'll have to schedule that after I'm finished with the braces.Maybe sometime before the holidays.Phone calls sure are easier.The weird thing is that I hear pretty well when I'm with my cellphone , when my landling I can't hear crap.and I have a special phone from my HA days..Go figure.I'll have to get a normal landline and make comparisions.I was bummed though to cancel speech yesterday but I was feeling really miserable.I'll have to reschedule that appointment and I expect I'll have to cancel next Fri too.I don't know if I'll go on Monday either , I'm waiting to see how I'm feeling and if I can talk and eat normal.

Also with braces we'll have to stop the oral motor exercises for a little while , dunno how long.we'll see.I've been trying them now and they don't cause me any discomfort except that one I was failing anyway to do, so I think I'm good to go.