A year ago today...

I just realized something.

A year ago today , I was run off my feet ..Doing all the req's exams for insurance approval to get implanted.

A year ago , I was wondering how it would be , to be implanted.

A year ago , I hoped my insurance approval would come through.

Also , six months ago , I was just waking up from operation.

Six months ago , I felt scared shitless before I was put under..it was my first operation generally..although I had cut it close to some other totally unrelated..

Six months ago , give or take a few days , I was activated ( I was activated within the week. )

Six months ago , I was getting my first taste of pure sound.

And for six months , I've been amazed , thankful.

And also , I began being greedier.I was reading some of the other blogs.Most are abroad , and are bilateral users.
I was thinking "why can't I go bilateral too ? " . I wanted to hear better.I wanted to feel fulfilled..

And , yesterday..I started thinking.A lot.Not only for CI issues, I have a LOT of other issues.

For better or worse , I am Greek.Greece doesn't approve for 2nd implant.Doesn't cover for all the things that could go wrong.Doesn't have the rechargeables with the box.

But you know what ? I'm also not rich.I live moderately well , yes.

I must be thankful, for having at least this one implant.For being able to pay for AVT therapy.For being able to scrape some money to fork over for rechargeables.For living in my own apartment.For having mine and my family's health.

And , anyway , I wasn't missing much , as the last 12 years , I was unilateral HA user, and I implanted my "good" ear.

I always was an unilateral kind of gal anyway. I'd love to go bilateral though , and I *would* do that in a heartbeat.But I can't.Not unless in some magical way , have all the required amount to pay for the 2nd surgery and implant.

I should start enjoying life as it is , unilateral. and it's good enough.And anyway I might still wonder what's so big to go bilateral , I will also try to thrive.

I will try to purchase one set of rechargeable batteries.One boot for FM system for college.And guess what ? that will be enough.For now.

I'm lucky enough , and I shouldn't be so greedy , or so sad about the whole business.Or about the insurance . I shouldn't grumble anymore , that is my lot in life.I will try actively for change , but not grumble.

And I should mention that I have a terrific family ? No, they're not perfect.We bicker all too much.I live alone in another city.I have a dysfunctional family, but , hey , nobody's perfect.

Maybe some day , I will be able to go.it's my secret wish.But , alas, it is not to be .

And I should be acting like a responsible adult , and face life , not grumbling like an spoiled child.